


[our] love needs no translation

by queenofpeace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: (in big and small ways), 5+1 Things, Alliance Rune (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Clave Politics, Declarations Of Love, Demons, Domestic Fluff, Downworld Politics, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Post-Season/Series 02, World Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-03-15 23:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13623792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofpeace/pseuds/queenofpeace
Summary: 5 times Alec tells Magnus he loves him + the 1 time he didn’t need words to say it.(or, I found a list of 'untranslatable' words and had to write a fic about it)





	1. toska

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of work may be the first multi-chapter fic I have ever completed in my life. I couldn't have done this without the incredible support from everyone who participated in the nanohunters 2017 challenge: you all inspired me everyday with your dedication and love for writing!
> 
> I must also give an extra special thank you to my wonderful beta, [Anu](http://alecslittlesnores.tumblr.com/), who is literally the most wonderful person and has kept me on track with storylines, characters and even helped me finally get around to posting this thing (I am very aware that nanowrimo ended a little over two months ago now, whoops), she really is amazing. She also made this super cute banner for me, so please shower her with love!
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this fic! Please feel free to leave a comment and/or a kudos ❤️️
> 
>  
> 
> _The plan is to add each chapter every Friday at the moment._

                                              [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/138549205@N02/39343829215/in/dateposted-public/)

 

×

 

**“I heard that journeys end in lover’s meeting,  
** **But my journey ends when my heart stops beating.”**  
_Visions of a Life_ – Wolf Alice

 

×××

 

 

One of the first things Alec was taught as a young archer, and something that had been emphasized to him ever since, was to never, ever shoot at the range on your own. Archery was not like any of the martial arts or combat training given at the Institute; it involved sharp weaponry, the risk for the bow to crack and the string to snap at you, for arrows to bounce back in potentially gruesome ways.

Once, when Alec was very young, only on his third day of training, he had skied the arrow far above the target in a way that hit the wall and made it travel back to him like a boomerang. If he had been on his own, without a coach to push him out of the way and without someone who possessed runic knowledge, Alec still didn’t know if he would’ve come away injury-free.

In the beginning, Alec had followed the rules to the letter. He was so desperate to prove himself to The Clave and to his parents. His whole life, the one constant he had known was the value of the Lightwood heritage. “We must always uphold our family name,” his mother had whispered to him at night after telling him stories of her greatest missions and tucking him into bed. “We are an old family, and I know you will make us so proud,” she had said.

And then Jace Wayland had come along, all swagger and confidence and a mop of golden hair to match. His knife throwing skills were on par with that of Clave soldiers, his strength far above anything Alec could imagine for a ten-year-old to possess. Over the years, he had taught Alec to break the rules, to train on his own. “How can you get better if you’re spending half the day in the library?” He had said.

This was why Alec, now in his twenties, was standing in the middle of the shooting range with his feet planted firm on the shooting line, bow in hand as he lined up his shot, and he was all alone. Archery was one of the things he had had that helped him calm down. Even though Valentine was now dead, tensions between The Clave and the Downworld were still high. He had tried setting up multiple Downworld Cabinet meetings, but it was still – as he called it – a 'work in progress'.

Magnus supported him, of course. They were trying again. Navigating their relationship with the political baggage had been difficult for Alec, and the past few weeks had almost severed what they had had because of his stupid mistakes. But they were trying again. People still didn’t approve – Alec had a horrible feeling they might never approve, at least not in his lifetime – and there would no doubt be conflict within each of their communities, with Alec being a Shadowhunter and Magnus being a Warlock. But they weren’t going to let it affect them like they had before. Not this time. This time, they would let it make them stronger – well, at least that was the plan.

It meant that Magnus was usually the only Downworlder leader to consistently turn up to each meeting. Luke made it whenever he could, but he was still trying to smooth frizzy fur hairs within his pack. Raphael came here or there, but he was preoccupied with finding Simon, along with Clary and Maia, who had seemed to disappear off the face of the earth after the celebration of Valentine’s death. Communication between each faction of Shadowhunters, Warlocks, Werewolves, Vampires and Seelies was growing more fraught by the day, especially with Meliorn’s rare appearance. It tugged at Alec’s nerves to see distrust between their communities, even after their enemy had been defeated.

Whenever he shot, Alec could focus on his breathing and stance to ground him. It was almost second nature to him now, but it helped calm his anxiety to remember the sequence of steps. It was why he shot bare-bow instead of recurve – it made him calmer to focus on the tip of the arrow and work out the exact height it needed to be instead of using a sight. In fact, it was once of the few skills he could best Jace in, who always relied on a sight to guide his shot. It was why Jace never shot.

After he let go of the string, Alec breathed out and watched the arrow fly straight into the centre of the target. He shot a few more times, remembering the sequence, feeling his arms and his back work in tandem to get a clean shot, and watched the arrows fly one after the other towards the centre of the target. Flames on candles dotted near the target whipped into a frenzy after each arrow was released. They kept the room dim and gave the impression to any patrolling guards that no one was training. Sometimes Alec just needed some alone time.

Checking to make sure no one else was around, Alec strolled up to the target and, after analysing his shot placement, he pulled the buried arrows out from the boss and returned them to his quiver. He breathed in, breathed out, sighing as he did. He rubbed his eyes, and was glad neither Magnus nor Izzy were here to see him.

The thing is, Alec had known that peace would not come immediately after Valentine’s death. Valentine was a symptom of a bigger virus, one that had infected the upper echelons of the Clave, and trickled down to the very children he was supposed to train: that Downworlders were lesser beings; that Shadowhunters were descendants from angels and thus were superior. It made his blood boil just thinking about it. This virus, this prejudice, had gripped onto Valentine with such ferocity, but the Clave was no better. It made Alec scared that it would only take one small, but cataclysmic event to fully destabilise all Shadowhunter and Downworld relations forever.

It was with this train of thought that Alec left the shooting range. The archery had failed to calm his nerves as he had hoped it would have, and it left him sullen and quiet as he put his bow and quiver away. The butterflies in his stomach almost made him jump out of skin as the Institute lit up in red waves, sirens blaring.

Alec hoped all was not as he had feared.

 

×××

 

“There’s been an attack in downtown Brooklyn, about a block away from Flatbush Avenue,” Jace informed the Institute’s Head as soon as he stepped into the Operations Centre of the New York Institute.

Alec nodded, willing his nerves away. “Any idea on what happened?”

“We think so,” Jace started. “Izzy’s been doing some research. Apparently, there was a small spike of demonic activity around the area. We haven’t talked to the victim yet to ask what happened but he seems pretty shaken up.”

“And who was the victim?”

“A vampire,” Jace said. He pulled out a tablet, bringing up an image sent in from Raphael’s clan. The guy’s skin had been almost completely mauled, claw marks across his chest, legs and arms. Thankfully, it looked like all vital body parts had been missed. “He’s told his clan it was a demon, but he had no idea what type it could have been.”

“Did it have any distinctive features or attacking style?”

Jace let out a breathy laugh, more sarcastic than anything else. “Well, apart from the fact it attacked him out of nowhere and then suddenly disappeared before it could do any nasty damage? Nothing.”

Alec sighed, already feeling a tension headache building up behind his eyes. “The vampire, he’ll be okay? Is he healing well?”

“His clan says he’ll be fine, apart from probably having some nightmares for a couple of weeks,” Izzy reported as she walked into the Ops Centre, heels clacking loudly against the marble floor. “It’ll take a couple of days before all the deep scratches and stab wounds heal, but he’s in good hands.”

“That’s good to hear,” Alec replied. “Jace said you’d found demonic activity in that area a few minutes beforehand?”

“Yep, I did – I sent out a couple of Shadowhunters to deal with it as the scanners only picked up a low-level threat. They were the ones to find the vampire, Ronnie, and it’s why we know the severity of Ronnie’s injuries,” she added. “The vampires still don’t exactly trust us right now, but I convinced them we would help.”

Alec smiled. He still didn’t like that Izzy was in good communication with Raphael, after everything that had happened with her and the yin fen addiction. But Alec knew there was no one better to liaise with the Downworld with than Isabelle. She had always cared for others so much, had stood up for their rights when Alec was still so obsessed with the Clave and the Lightwood family name. “Thanks, Iz. I’ll be sure to increase patrols and address this in the next Cabinet meeting.”

Their impromptu meeting wrapped up quicker than Alec expected as everyone rushed to perform their duties. Alec sent fire messages to Luke, Meliorn and Raphael updating the agenda for their next meeting in two days, offering Raphael any help. Progress had been slow, but Alec hoped it would snowball into something good.

And, well, who needed to send a fire message to the High Warlock of Brooklyn when Alec could pay a personal visit himself?

 

×××

 

“No, Walt, I haven’t come across these ‘fowl talons’ you keep mentioning to me,” Magnus said down the phone, exasperated. Alec crept through the door and shut it behind him, carefully so as not to disturb the call.

“I know you- yes, Walt, I’m sure it’s _ve_ ry important for this protective spell you need, but these talons aren’t a part of my collection,” Magnus continued. “If- okay, _when_ I come across some in my next gathering trip, I'll let you know. _Trust me_ , you'll be the first to hear from me.” Magnus rolled his eyes and pointed to the phone, making Alec snort. “Right, I have to go now, important business meeting to attend to,” and with that, Magnus hung up.

“Who was that?” Alec asked before leaning in to press his lips to Magnus’, his body lighting up despite it only being chaste.

“A very old, paranoid warlock who was going on and on about the world about to end – something to do with a rampage of death and destruction,” Magnus said with a flourish of his hand. “But he’s widely known amongst our people to be a bit crazy, always believing the world is about to be destroyed imminently.”

“He sounds like fun,” Alec said sardonically as his eyes danced across Magnus’ face, his body flush against the warlock’s, keeping their faces only inches apart.

“Indeed,” Magnus mirrored. “Apparently these fowl talons have some magical protection against powerful demons, but I personally have never come across them.”

Still so close together, Alec unconsciously stroked his thumb across Magnus’ arm, the closeness so natural to him now.

“Anyway,” Magnus began, moving out of their bubble towards his work station. “How was the Institute? No cataclysmic events coming to destroy everything we love?”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Not today, no, although I do need to talk to you about something.”

Alec could feel the tone of the room shift ever so slightly. Navigating this aspect of their relationship had gotten easier, and Alec was grateful for Magnus’ understanding and patience in him unlearning everything the Clave had taught him. Magnus turned back to face him from his work station, alert, as Alec held his hands behind his back.

“A vampire was attacked by a demon in downtown Brooklyn today. He’ll be fine but no one knows what type of demon it was and we’re not sure if it’ll resurface – a party Izzy sent out didn’t make it in time to destroy it.”

Magnus nodded, taking it in. “It just attacked and… disappeared?”

“Precisely.”

“That’s strange. Usually a demon has no sense of purpose except to kill unless it was being directly controlled by another force,” Magnus explained. “Have you told the others?”

“Fire messages have already been sent; I just wanted to tell you personally,” Alec said, a smirk ghosting on his pretty face.

“Ever the charmer, Alexander,” Magnus purred, moving back towards Alec languidly.

“Well, I always aim to please,” Alec teased. Magnus smiled and it made his eyes crinkle, lifelines of joy spreading across his face. It was one his favourite things about looking at Magnus, among many. He loved knowing that despite whatever loss and toil Magnus has faced throughout his life, there was also laughter, joy, love.

Magnus kissed him again, slower and deeper, more settled. Alec trailed his hands up Magnus’ arms more deliberately, feeling the warmth of the cat-eyed man's skin through his burgundy shirt, his breathe warm against Alec’s face as they pulled away, smiling.

“I hope I didn’t miss anything exciting today at the Institute,” Magnus exclaimed wryly. “Work today was petty. Always the usual ‘Do this, Magnus!’, ‘Get this spell done, Magnus’,” he continued in an animated voice for effect.

“You didn’t miss much, I can assure you of that, unless you count watching me write reports all day exciting.”

“Oh darling, you could be watching dry paint and I’d be happy to tag along.” At that, Alec chuckled.

For a split second, Alec stood back in his past self’s shoes. He remembered how alone he felt, how much of a disappointment he was to his parents. What a disgrace he was. _Never good enough_ , he had told himself as he watched Jace throw knives into the centre of targets day after day, watched Izzy ace her tests whilst kicking everyone’s asses. Magnus’ flirting had annoyed him because he loved it so much, but now he couldn’t imagine a life without it.

“Especially when you blush as hard as you do,” Magnus continued to tease, feigning grabbing his cheek like a mundane grandmother.

“Stop it,” Alec said, failing at trying to play serious. “You’re not getting dinner if you keep teasing me like this.”

“It’s cute that you think you could stop me,” Magnus joked, clicking his fingers and unveiling an elegantly laid dinner table, as per their normal dates. Candles danced in the air as they moved towards the table, Alec pulling at Magnus’ chair, which earned him a wink and a peck on the cheek.

Another click and Magnus had conjured up an Egyptian feast. Alec’s mouth immediately watered at the sight.

“Here we have _ful medammas_ , or broad beans cooked in a sauce, and _sayadeya_ , sea bass with rice, tomatoes and spices, served alongside _aish baladi_ , an Egyptian flatbread, with sides of grilled halloumi, peppers, boiled eggs and lentils,” Magnus listed with another flourish of his hand, pointing at each dish as if he were performing. “ _Ful medammas_ have been eaten by the Egyptians long before I was born, some say even in ancient times, so it only makes sense we keep the tradition moving forward.”

The smell of lemon, garlic, fresh fish and various spices filled his nose and made Alec’s stomach grumble in anticipation.

“I hope you enjoy this, Alexander. My time in Egypt opened my eyes when I was merely two-hundred years old. The Shadowhunters back then were far more stale, even compared to today, but we did make some fun out of it at the time.”

Alec laughed, but the mention of Shadowhunters and Magnus and other Downworlders causing friction only reminded him of the lead in his stomach. He felt it move around his body, as if it were travelling through his blood, until it clouded his thoughts and made his eyes noticeably lower.

“Are you okay?” Magnus said, shifting his tone more seriously. “You seem… anxious.”

Alec blinked, and sighed. “You got me,” he replied dejectedly. “Sorry, just a feeling I can’t seem to shake,” he tried to explain.

Magnus shifted his chair closer to Alec’s, placing his hand on top of his. The touch was comforting.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me, no matter how little sense it makes,” he said with bright eyes. “I know you’d do the same for me.”

Alec looked at Magnus properly, breathing deeply in preparation. He didn’t know why he felt like he even _had_ to prepare. “I just… I know that Valentine is dead. We both saw it with our own eyes. But I still feel on edge like… like I’m waiting for something bad to happen that will tear the Shadow World and the Downworld apart even further. I know it’ll take time for both our worlds to heal and come together, but I just have this inkling as if… as if something will only push the Clave into becoming something akin to Valentine and it hasn’t sat with me right all day.”

Breathing out, Alec realised how warm his cheeks were and how sweaty his palms had become under Magnus’ touch.

“Does that make sense?” He asked as Magnus’ eyes searched his own.

“It makes perfect sense, my love, and a perfectly rational feeling. The Clave has always been prejudiced against Downworlders, and the death of a fanatic open of his prejudices does not get rid of everything structural set to put us down. I know you’re doing your best, and there are many out there who want to see you succeed. All we can do is keep on going; keep on rebuilding the world until there is something better for our children, and for their children after.”

Without realisation of his full senses, Alec pulled Magnus in for a hug, despite his too-big body being angled awkwardly in his chair.

"I love you," Alec proclaimed, the words falling from his lips like rain to the ground, inevitable and bound by a force like gravity that Alec found impossible to understand or explain. A force that always pulled him to Magnus.

“And you’re amazing, you know that right?” He continued.

Alec felt Magnus smiling against his shirt. “I love you too, Alexander. And I'm only as amazing as you are,” Magnus muffled into Alec’s shoulders.

Alec held onto Magnus quietly for a few seconds longer, burning the memory of Magnus' warm, strong hold permanently into his memory.

"I hope what I said doesn’t come true,” Alec confessed.

“Don’t we all. Now, I’m thinking we return to dinner, and come up with some easier conversation before we head to bed tonight?” Magnus offered as he moved his chair back to its original position.

They both picked up their wine glasses, clinking them together. “I couldn’t agree more.”

 

×××

                                                                                                                                                                              

Magnus was in the middle of recalling the time he was chased by an overly-protective, heavily-pregnant camel in Egypt when a man came bursting through the front doors.

“Magnus!” He cried out, breathing heavy.

“Christopher, what’s the matter?” Magnus asked, immediately standing from the table. He threw his napkin down, elegant dinner forgotten.

“It’s Casey, he’s been attacked. All he can remember was that whoever attacked him was dark, almost like a shadow, like a-“

“Like a demon,” Magnus finished.

Christopher nodded gravely. “Exactly. How did you know?”

“A vampire was attacked by something very similar earlier this morning,” Alec added. “Will he be okay?”

“We’re not sure at the moment, none of us were with Chris when he was attacked and we’re not good healers. That’s why I came here.”

Magnus quickly shrugged on a floor-length coat whilst he looked for some ingredients normally used for healing. “What injuries did he sustain?”

“He was clawed at pretty bad so he’s bleeding quite heavily right now. We’ve performed some mundane medicine on him – just bandages and pain medication, but it’s not helping him much,” Christopher told them. “We’re down by the Pavilion in Prospect Park; we’ve magicked it so mundanes can’t see or hear us.”

“I’ll portal us straight there,” Magnus exclaimed, bag in hand and his hand glowing an azure blue.

Alec quickly grabbed his jacket, bow and quiver. At Christopher’s widened eyes and tense body, Alec explained, “If Magnus is busy healing Casey and this thing tries to attack again, I’ll be there to help stop it.” With that, Christopher nodded silently, which only deepened Alec’s frown. “I’m here to help.”

“Whatever you say, Shadowhunter.”

Alec swallowed dryly. Old wounds die hard, it seemed, but Alec was determined to prove them wrong.

 

×××

 

Alec and Magnus were welcomed with the sound of pained moans and the smell of copper and ichor. Magnus immediately rushed to Casey and started the healing process, closing his wounds whilst cleaning the blood off his dark skin. Casey’s afro was dampened with sweat, but his friends started to sit down in relief as his breathing slowed down and his pain dulled.

“Thank you, Magnus,” he said, his eyes still shiny with tears, but full of thanks.

Magnus smiled. “No thanks needed, Casey. Just as long as you feel better now.”

Casey gave a very slow, tired nod.

“I’ll portal you all to somewhere safer when you feel ready.”

As Casey’s friends nested themselves around him, Alec stood outside the Pavilion, his Vision rune activated. His eyes scanned across the park, seeing through trees and towards a nearby pond. It was dark, with only the dim glow of the street lights to give any indication of movement.

Nothing.

Frustrated, Alec turned back to the group after deactivating the rune. “I can’t see anything,” he told Magnus. “It just disappeared, like the attack earlier.”

Magnus sighed. “I haven’t seen this before in all my 400 years. Demons don’t just attack sporadically and without intent to kill on their own.”

Alec swallowed nervously and was aware of eyes watching them both. He could see Magnus’ mind working as he withdrew into himself, thinking carefully.

“Do you think something big is going to happen?” Alec asked. The dread he felt from last night had settled at the bottom of his stomach like a weight. It pulled him down, and only made him worry more in ways he couldn’t fully understand. He felt a bit sick with it.

Magnus refused to say yes or no. “I’m not sure, but it’s best we keep an eye on the situation,” he said. “The Downworld is only just beginning to heal after Valentine’s demise – we can’t keep being hunted like this if someone is controlling demons,” he surmised.

“Agreed. I’ll let Izzy know what’s going on. If there’s any sort of pattern to this, she’ll figure it out.”

Magnus took Alec’s hand in his own. “Thank you, Alexander. Any help you can give us we can’t do for ourselves will be appreciated,” he promised. “I’ll portal Casey and the rest of the group to somewhere safe. How about we finish that dinner once I’m done?”

Alec beamed. “That sounds great.”

Magnus let go of Alec’s hand, and whooshed through the portal, leaving Alec behind with the sounds of buzzing streetlights and rustling leaves.

 

×××

 

Alec decided to walk home. Magnus’ loft wasn’t too far from downtown Brooklyn, and Alec knew how much Magnus liked to take time when with his people. And there was no doubt that Magnus would be trying to spread the message of a new form of demon attack to keep the Warlock community safe.

So, instead of sitting in the Pavilion and in the cold, Alec decided to head back to the loft, texting Magnus to meet him there after he’d finished with Casey.

Alec still felt uneasy. Now that Valentine was dead, there was no big suspect for him to pin this all on. He’d seen Jace kill Jonathan with his own eyes, and people can’t just be resurrected from the dead.

He let these thoughts circle around in his head until a scream pierced through them. Suddenly, his body was on alert, and he ran towards it, knocking an arrow in preparation. The screaming grew louder as he drew away from the main road and towards the back alley behind a big office complex.

Once he turned a corner, he found one of his Shadowhunter trainees struggling with a massive, dark shape above her head. It jumped down onto her, unsheathing claws that dragged through her skin like butter. Instantly, Alec shot it, its own scream loud and shrieking. It grated against Alec’s ears, but it gave the girl – Claire – enough time to wriggle out of its grip and to behind Alec, who had knocked another arrow in that time.

The demon fell to the floor, and somehow managed to pull the arrow from its body, causing ichor to leak all over. Its eyes were pitch black, it’s skin almost scaly, with faint wisps of fur giving the impression of a shroud surrounding it. The demon screeched at them, revealing large, sharp incisors for teeth.

And then, just like that, it disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. Gone in an instant.

Coming down, Alec let himself relax, feeling Claire’s ragged breath on his back and the way her hand was shakily gripping his jacket. She had no seraph blade and no backup. She was lucky Alec was nearby.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked her as he put his arrow back in his quiver.

Claire was very visibly in shock. She was only fifteen, plucked right out of the Academy. A late bloomer, they called her. In Clave terms, that meant she wasn’t as skilled as other trainees. By that age, Alec was already out doing missions, with Jace in tow. Recognising this, Alec carefully approached her. “I’m just going to apply an iratze, that should help with the cut and the pain,” he explained.

After applying the iratze, Alec guided Claire towards the wall, giving her his jacket as hers had been ruined. He quickly shot a text to Izzy, telling her what happened, and to get here as soon as possible to fence off the scene before any mundanes could contaminate it.

“Why were you out here on your own?” Alec asked her gently.

Claire was still noticeably riled, but looked a lot better than before. All that was left from her ordeal was some dried blood and a ripped shirt. “I just… I wanted to prove myself,” she started. “My parents have been so angry with my slow progress, and I- I wanted to show them I was doing better, that I was a capable Shadowhunter. So, when I heard about the vampire attack this morning, I decided to go looking for the demon myself,” she explained. A faint trail of tears betrayed her, slipping down her cheeks.

“I’m impressed you thought you could find it yourself – and you did, but there’s a reason trainees patrol either in large groups or with an experienced mentor,” Alec told her. “It’s to avoid things like this happening.”

Claire wiped away her tears and sniffed. “I’m sorry, Mr Lightwood. It won’t happen again.”

“Hey, hey,” Alec soothed her. “We all make mistakes. My brother Jace would often do something like this himself, but this demon is unlike anything your training has prepared you for,” he continued. “And it’s Alec. You can skip the formalities.”

Claire faintly smiled. “Thank you, Alec.”

A familiar sound of heels against concrete grew louder. “We got here as quick as we could,” Izzy called out as her, Jace and Clary bounded around the corner. “Is everyone okay?” She asked when she found Alec with Claire.

“We’re fine now, but the demon left behind some ichor you could analyse,” Alec informed her.

“I’ll collect it now, Jace and Clary can help take Claire back to the Institute.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Clary was the best person to help Claire at this point; she had a nature to her that Alec would never be able to master. Her mundane humanity made her their most valuable asset in that respect.

After watching them go, Alec turned to see Izzy scoop ichor into a couple of test tubes. “It was almost like a lizard,” Alec started. “A big, demonic lizard, if that helps narrow your research down.”

Izzy screwed the test tubes tight. “Not at the moment, but it might do later,” she suggested. “You don’t look hurt big brother, and I’m glad you’re not.”

Alec smirked, but still felt that dreaded weight in his belly. “It disappeared after I shot it. Whatever this thing is, it flees after the first sign of a struggle… maybe.”

Izzy pulled her hair back behind her ears, a sign she was thinking. “This could be bad if it’s attacking both Shadowhunters and Vamps alike.”

“Downworlders,” Alec interrupted. “It attacked a Warlock not too long ago as well. He’s recovering, but it’s only going to be a matter of time before someone gets too hurt to be healed,” he surmised. Alec could picture the Clave report already.

“Well then, we’ll just do what we always do,” Izzy said, perking up.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

She winked. “Stop the bad guys.”

 

×××

 

“Casey will be fine,” Magnus reassured him over the phone. “There’s no need for me to be here anymore so I’ll portal back now.”

“You may be better off portalling to the Institute,” Alec told him. “Something happened on my way back home.”

Alec could hear Magnus thinking down the phone. “Are you okay? Did the demon attack you?”

“Not exactly, but I’m fine,” Alec assured him, knowing his adorably over-protective boyfriend. “I’ll get into details when you get to the Institute. Izzy’s deepening her research to see if she can dig up anything that might help us.”

“Okay, I’ll be in your office let’s say, oh, right about now,” he said, hanging up. Papers were blown across Alec’s office as Magnus stepped through a portal, right in the middle of the room.

“I hope you know you’re cleaning that up later,” Alec joked. He put his phone away whilst Magnus fixed his paperwork pile with a click of the fingers.

“Why do something tomorrow when you can do something today? Now, tell me what happened earlier.”

Alec smiled and went to guide Magnus from his office to Izzy’s lab.

“One of the Shadowhunter trainees wandered off looking for the demon and ended up finding it. I heard her on my way back to the loft and was able to stop it from doing any more damage. The girl’s fine now – she’ll probably be more shaken up than anything – but the demon seems to disappear at the slightest threat and we’ve been unable to locate its movements.”

“Hmm, interesting,” Magnus concluded. “Have you heard from any of the other Institutes?” he enquired.

Alec shook his head. “I didn’t even think to ask,” he said.

“If this demon is suddenly jumping from place to place, it may be jumping from country to country. It’s hard for a demon to move through different realms – they lose so much energy from it. They’re essentially trapped if they don’t rest for the appropriate amount of time,” Magnus explained.

“Okay,” Alec said. “I’ll send out a note to other Institutes to be on the lookout. If this thing is attacking the way it is here, it must be noticeable in other countries as well,” he reasoned.

“Exactly. Now, my dear Isabelle, it’s been too long,” Magnus greeted as they entered Izzy’s lab.

“Not my fault Alec wants you all to himself,” she cooed, going in for a hug.

“Izzy,” Alec groaned.

Magnus and Izzy laughed. “So, Isabelle, Alexander says you’ve been hard at work trying to bring light on this type of demon we’ve got on our hands.”

“And he’s right. The demon left ichor after Alec managed to get a shot at it. I’ve been analysing its properties since we got back, but nothing’s shown up yet. It’s still too soon to tell,” she summed up.

Magnus nodded in approval. “Well, at least we got something from it. The warlock I was helping out earlier said he managed to blast a spell at it, which threatened its safety, but it seemed to him almost impossible to touch.”

“I’ll let you both know when the results come through. In the meantime, some magical cocktails would be nice?” Izzy tried, earning a fond smile from Magnus.

“Alas, Izzy, I have something to talk with Alec about, but I will chase you up on that afterwards,” he promised.

“Well okay then, you tell my brother to be nice, yes?”

“When am I not?” Alec defended.

“All the time,” Izzy replied, winking. “Go, leave me to my work, I’ll catch you guys later.”

Magnus felt guilty for not being able to spare the time for a mini cocktail party with his fashionable friend. So as a compensation and rain check promise, he conjured up a steaming hot chai latte for Isabelle with a wink before walking out hand-in-hand with Alec.

 

×××

 

Magnus requested privacy, so Alec took them to the greenhouse. Lush plants stood tall around them. No one else usually ventured here; it was a place that symbolised peace and tranquillity, a place to go to when your emotions became too much to control. Since Shadowhunters were trained at a young age to control their emotions, or at least learn to hide them well, there was usually no one else in the room. It was probably one of the few rooms Alec liked in the Institute. The room had patiently tolerated the many emotional outbursts and sat through the angry rants of lots of Shadowhunters.

“What’s going on Magnus?” Alec asked as soon as he clicked the glass door shut.

“Something feels… off,” Magnus started. “It happened as soon as I portalled Casey and his friends to safety. It was as if something old and ancient was calling out to me and my magic, trying to pull at it. In reality, it was more like someone knocking on my wards in an attempt to break through.”

If Alec wasn’t tensed before, he certainly was now. Crinkles of worry showed on his broad forehead and his eyes immediately stitched together in a frown. “Isn’t that bad?”

“Obviously, yes, but my wards have countless spells woven into them. Think of them as the strings to a tapestry; each thread represents a single spell, built up over time to resemble a whole. There are some to protect against demons, and different threads to protect against different types of demons. I have some threads which permit those of angelic blood to come through, some to let warlocks, vampires and werewolves through. Some are individually created to protect against certain people.”

“And what does that mean for whatever was knocking on them?” Alec asked.

“It means that whatever is trying to break through – the demon or whoever is controlling it – is something I’ve already warded against. Which means we have a list of suspects, albeit a long one.”

“It will help, though, I’m sure of it,” Alec asserted, sounding more confident than he looked as he rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose. The headache from this morning still hadn’t left him. Alec felt more tired and drained by the second.

“I mean,” Magnus started again. “It could be anything from a greater demon to a cat that was annoying Chairman Meow.”

“Well then, we’ll just have to figure out why a cat would want to break through the wards and cause a spike of demon attacks throughout the city,” Alec said, now smiling. His boyfriend always knew what to say. Magnus just laughed.

“If only it were that simple.”

Alec tried to ignore his headache. “How were Casey and his friends – I mean, I got the impression they didn’t really want me there before, did they say anything?” Alec said. He didn’t know why he was pushing this, but something deep in his stomach was almost begging him to ask.

“Most warlocks – well, pretty much all of them – still don’t trust the Clave and therefore Shadowhunters in general. Also, our fight was petty gossip that spread amongst my people like wildfire, so they’re still not sure how to handle you now that we’re back together.

“But don’t worry,” Magnus reassured him. “It will take time – lucky for me, I have time – for everything to settle, for you to turn the Clave around-“, Alec blushed and shook his head, “-and for the Downworld to begin to trust you.”

Trying to make the Clave see sense, wouldn’t that be something? “If only it were that simple,” he repeated.

 

×××

 

After their talk, Magnus made his way back to Isabelle’s lab to no doubt check on her work and talk about Alec. Instead of joining, Alec had made his way to the infirmary, where Jace and Clary were still looking after Claire, who had been given a change of clothes since getting back to the Institute.

“How are you feeling?” Alec opened, immediately crouching to his knees when he managed to stand in front of Claire.

“Better,” Claire sniffled. “Clary and Jace have been taking care of me.”

“That’s good to hear,” Alec replied warmly. “Do you think you can remember what happened in better detail?”

Claire went visibly white, her fingers beginning to shake.

“It’s okay,” Clary comforted as she placed her own hand on top of Claire’s shaky ones. “Just tell Alec what you told us. He’s a good listener when he’s not grumpy, I promise.”

Alec rolled his eyes ever so slightly, but let Claire continue.

“I remember how it appeared a bit more clearly now. It was like how it disappeared; it just came at me through black smoke, almost like a portal. It screamed that horrific shriek, and just came out at me, like it knew I was all alone,” she described. “How could it know I was alone if it wasn’t stalking me?”

Clary stroked her hand. “It’s okay Claire, that’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

“It was probably just completely random,” Alec told her. “Demons aren’t able to see through realms, unless they’re very powerful. This type of demon seems to not like being threatened and our scanners only picked it up as low-level, so it was probably more to do with chance than anything else,” he explained.

“Okay, yeah – that makes more sense,” Claire said. “Sorry, it’s just… I was just scared it might still be stalking me, that’s all,” she confessed.

“Well, it looks like you have nothing to worry about,” Jace told her. “Now that you’re all healed up, you should probably head off to bed,” he instructed her.

“Okay, Mr Heron- Jace, sorry, okay Jace,” Claire stumbled. “And I’ll try to be braver in the future.”

Alec, Clary and Jace all watched her scurry off out of the infirmary and down the corridor.

“She can’t ever be in the field, Alec,” Jace said. “She’s too nice, too sweet – she’s not made of the right stuff to be a Shadowhunter.”

“Jace, what?” Alec questioned.

“Look, it’s simple,” Jace snapped. “She didn’t even take a seraph blade with her, she probably would have died if it hadn’t been for you.”

Alec rose to stand above Jace. “And that’s no reason to imply that she’s not one of us. Sometimes not everyone can be as good as you at everything, Jace. Some people need time.”

Jace huffed as he stood up to meet Alec, almost nose to nose. “Well, her needing time almost got her killed.”

With that, Jace stormed out the room, letting the doorframe slam against the wall, leaving a bemused Alec and Clary to wonder what the _hell_ had just happened.

 

×××

 

Alec and Clary let silence and shock hang in the air. They both stared at the door, which had flung itself backwards through the sheer force of Jace’s push earlier, bouncing off the wall with ease. It had crashed back into the door frame, and had made some of the medics in the infirmary jump. No doubt this news would travel fast around the institute.

“Was he like this earlier?” Alec asked Clary. “With Claire?”

Clary shook her head. “No, he had been fine with her – great, even. I don’t understand what just happened.”

“Did Inquisitor Herondale speak with him at all today? Did you two argue earlier or...?”

“No, it’s actually been a very peaceful day, the attacks not withstanding,” she said.

Alec sighed. “Something’s been off with him for a while,” he said. The lead in his stomach from earlier turned to ice.

“What do you mean?” Clary asked.

“Ever since Valentine, after I thought Jace was dead, my rune’s been feeling odd.”

Clary stared at him, her eyes burning into him intensely like fire. “How so?”

“It’s like… I can feel his anxiousness, his pain after you killed Valentine. And then I won’t feel anything at all – whole periods of time when our bond is almost like it’s nullified.”

Clary just nodded. Alec tried to read her expression, but Clary looked just as confounded as he felt. “Have you told Magnus? Maybe he could help you guys out?”

“Not yet, I’m not sure if this is something his magic can fix, you know? ‘Rune powers are different from warlock magic’. He told me that himself. Has Jace said anything to you? He won’t say anything about it to me, apparently.”

“Not to me, no,” Clary trailed, her voice growing cracked and distant. “But, um, I can ask him about it – later, you know.”

Alec smiled. “Thanks Fray, I appreciate it.” He couldn’t have a potential demon attacking everything within sight _and_ something going on with Jace. His brain couldn’t process even the mere idea of it, let alone if that actually happened.

“No problem. I’ll catch up with you later,” said Clary as she quickly jumped off the infirmary bed, and down the corridor, perhaps to follow Jace, Alec pondered.

Deciding that it was pointless standing around and doing nothing whilst trying to lead an Institute, Alec made his own way out of the infirmary – careful not to slam the door in fear of the medics’ disapproval – and made his way back to the Ops Centre. He hoped things would be calmer for the rest of the night.

 

×××

 

The scanners bleeped furiously as Alec stepped through into the Ops Centre and he instantly grabbed the computer's monitor. “There’s another spike of demon activity in Greenwood,” he announced loudly to those in the Ops Centre with him. “Magnus, Jace and Izzy, with me – if we want any chance of stopping this thing, we need to go now.”

“I can portal us there, save some time,” Magnus offered, his hand already glowing blue with intent. They all nodded in unison, weapons already in hand.

In less than a second, the gang were through the portal and into Greenwood. Dawn was approaching, which lit the wooded area warm oranges and pinks.

“Come on, let’s go find this son of a bitch,” Izzy said as she whipped her wrist to unlock her staff.

Activating their Vision runes, Alec, Izzy and Jace began searching for any sign the demon was around. Step by step, they scanned the trees and closed-off houses, searching for any sign of movement. Izzy almost poked a squirrel as it scurried up a tree, her sense on high alert.

Magnus followed behind them. He kept his eyes peeled and magic ready. It wisped from light blue to a dangerous red as they crept forward together

Jace suddenly went stiff. “You see anything?” Alec asked him.

“North, I think I saw something dark over there.”

Jace’s inference was proved right when, suddenly, a loud scream echoed north through the trees and back to the group.

“Run!” Alec ordered. He de-activated his rune and raised his bow all at once as they ran to the sound. It was high-pitched – a girl, a woman maybe – and terrified, sending chills down Alec’s bones. They ran faster and faster, using every bit of their magical abilities to dodge branches and twigs.

Then, the screaming stopped. When they got there, the demon was nowhere to be seen.

“Damnit,” Jace said, seething, throwing his seraph blade across the ground. They were too slow.

A young girl was dead.

 

×

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Toska_ , Russian: “...no single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause.”
> 
> If there are any warnings not included in the tags that you think are important, please let me know and I'll do my best to tag them or put a warnings list down here! I do often miss things.


	2. kilig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave more detailed warnings in the end notes, but this chapter deals with grief and some violence (canon-typical). Please let me know if you feel other warnings should be added in the tags!
> 
> _The third chapter should be posted next Friday, barring uni work._

 

×

 

She was tiny, and she was a werewolf. Her hair was as dark as night, her skin blue and ice cold. Underneath the bloodied scratch marks and clawed skin, Alec could see the indentation of a scar, of her changed teeth as she had tried in vain to defend herself. Her body was too small and it made a part of Alec’s very own soul weep for her and her family. She was just a child.

Jace had stormed off behind a tree with Izzy following him. Given his outburst earlier, Alec knew this had pushed Jace over the edge. Hell, he could _feel_ it through the bond.

Magnus put a hand on his shoulder, tucking Alec’s body into his in silence and comfort. Alec welcomed it gladly.

“We should call Luke,” Alec said, his voice cracking. Magnus just nodded. He knew this was no doubt affecting Magnus terribly as well. Not even a portal could get them the time they needed to save her.

Alec thumbed his phone in his hand, fingers hovering over Luke’s name. He breathed in deep, breathed out fast, trying to remember his training in such a moment as this. _Keep control of your emotions_ , he remembered his mother telling him one day after he’d punched one of the other boys' faces and almost broke his jaw. _You need to stay calm during a fight, or if you see horror beyond your worst imaginations_.

“Luke, you need to get to Greenwood. A werewolf has just been killed by that demon. A young girl.”

 

×××

 

Luke was sombre when he arrived at the scene. Behind him followed a man and a woman, both holding onto each other with shaking hands. Alec guessed they were the girl’s parents.

“That can’t be our girl,” said the man. His voice was hoarse; his partner was silent.

“I’m sorry Jake, Madison,” Luke said, addressing both of them. “It is her.”

Alec turned his back to give the parents room to grieve. He’d seen death before – he’d seen bodies mutilated, runes carved out of Shadowhunters’ skin, seen the bodies of Downworlders purged by Valentine. But he had never seen the death of someone so young and so innocent. It threatened to tear him apart.

He was suddenly brought back to reality by Izzy, who tapped him on the shoulder. “Jace wants to talk,” she told him. “He’s calmed down now. Magnus and I will examine the girl and see what we can find before letting her parents take her.”

Alec nodded and set his shoulders high, his back straight. “Thanks, Iz,” he said, giving Izzy a fraction of a smile to try and reassure her he was okay. Izzy returned the gesture.

He could hear the woman, Madison, sobbing behind him as Alec moved towards the trees. She let out a whimper, a memory that Alec would take to his grave. “Jessica, my Jessica!”

He let their grief grow distant as he approached Jace, who was leaning against one of the trees. Jace was staring at the headstone of a grave, his eyes appearing to be reading the engraved letters of someone long dead, but were really blank and unfocused.

Alec let himself stand next to Jace, feeling his arm bump against Jace’s own, a pang of relief mixed with anxiety showing through their bond.

“I’m not okay, Alec,” Jace started, twiddling his thumbs and dropping his head. “There’s something wrong with me, and I don’t know how to explain it to you.”

Alec took in Jace’s appearance, his rounded posture, the way he made himself look smaller. The way he was gripping his stomach and putting all his weight into the tree. It didn’t sit right with Alec.

“Just… start with what you know, even if you don’t think it’s much,” Alec said. “Sometimes even the smallest thing can help find the solution.”

Jace nodded and wiped the sweat off his brow. “So, it started after Clary killed Valentine, I was… mostly out of it. When I woke up, I felt fine, but also strange – like I didn’t wake up right. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s the best I got.”

Alec let the words ring through his head. “Our bond hasn’t been right since,” he said. “After you and Clary had gone to Lake Lyn, I thought I felt our bond break, and that you died,” he continued. Jace went slightly tense, but let him carry on.

“And then it came back like nothing had happened once we found you and Clary. I don’t know if this is what has made you feel so strange, but it terrified me at the time,” Alec finished. “Does that help at all?”

“Um,” Jace started. “I don’t know, but… maybe, thanks Alec.”

Alec offered his hand out, a symbol of their parabatai bond. Jace took it, clasping their hands together.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” Jace continued. “About earlier – I shouldn’t have snapped at you about Claire. I know some people need to take time when becoming a Shadowhunter.”

“It happens to all of us. And that’s okay.”

Jace smiled. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

“Anytime, brother.”

 

×××

 

Jessica was five years old when she had been bitten. The family had been attacked by a rogue werewolf after it ran into the car out in the suburbs of New York. They had been visiting a relative – just an old aunt of Madison’s – and were heading home when a shape ran out into the road. Madison had swerved the car off into a small ditch, thinking it to be some sort of deer. Jessica had screamed at the wolf’s roaring. Madison and Jake had tried to protect themselves as best they could, but had all been clawed at by the wolf before Luke and the rest of his pack had been able to catch up with the werewolf in time to stop it.

The family had been in shock that night, but came into their powers naturally. It helped that Jessica was so young; she was able to hone her senses as easily as a born wolf child could. She had them controlled enough to go back to school in just a few months. She had made her parents so proud.

They had gone to Greenwood to see Jessica’s grandmother’s grave. Greenwood was a large plot for graves, and housed some secret stashes of weapons for Shadowhunters. Jessica had gone wandering off, fascinated to see who else was buried next to her Nana and who was keeping her company. Madison and Jake had been so focused on saying their prayers that they hadn’t noticed she was gone until her scream echoed throughout the cemetery. She was only ten years old.

Luke was telling every Shadowhunter he could about what had happened, to keep her humanity alive, to keep them investigating the case. Most of the younger recruits took in his story with heavy hearts, but the older guards and trainers were wary to view Downworlders with too much empathy. Alec could only do so much with people’s beliefs as Head of the Institute.

“The investigation into these attacks has already been opened, but I’ll adjust its severity. Hopefully the Clave will lend us a helping hand if the demon is starting to kill people.”

“And if they don’t?”

Alec swallowed. “Then I’ll use every resource I have. No other person – child or adult, Downworlder, mundane or Shadowhunter – can be killed by this thing,” Alec said with finality.

Luke nodded as Magnus and Izzy returned to the ops centre where everyone had gathered, charts in hand.

“If a warlock was transporting this demon between realms, then I certainly haven’t been able to sense any magic being used,” Magnus reported. “Have you heard from any of the other Institutes?”

“Not yet, I’ve hardly been able to check since I put the request out,” Alec replied, sighing. “Hopefully someone should have seen something.”

“Jessica’s injuries came swiftly and easily. She was a small target, unable to defend herself, and this was probably what left her so vulnerable to a demon that disappears at the slightest show of a fight,” Izzy surmised.

Magnus made his way to Alec as he sensed the Nephilim's stress. “We’ll get this thing before it can do more damage,” he said.

Alec nodded wearily. In that moment, he craved Magnus’ touch. He didn’t want it in the ways he would normally desire it. Alec didn’t want intensity, heat and fire – he wanted assurance, something to take away the pressure that was building up in his muscles. He could feel the weight of the responsibility on his shoulders that went beyond what anything his mother and father had trained him for. He was told to follow the rules, to go with the grain of the Clave and to be a loyal Shadowhunter. His actions at the wedding broke all of those guidelines he was set out to follow. He felt like he was fighting a battle on two fronts.

As if reading his mind, Magnus placed his hand on Alec’s arm. Alec forcefully willed his thoughts away.

“The lab work on the ichor we got last night should be coming in any second now. I’ll let you know what I find,” Izzy said, breaking the silence. “Hopefully we can at least find out what type of demon this is. It’s not like anything we’ve ever seen.” Izzy was right – and they had fought Edomei, the dragon-like demons.

“Good work. Jace and Clary – you two need to scan for any demonic activity across the world in case I don’t hear back from the other Institutes I’ve notified,” Alec instructed.

“Um, I’d love to, but I promised Maia I’d help her look for Simon again this afternoon – he still hasn’t been seen since we stopped Valentine and with all these demon attacks, we need to find him as soon as possible,” Clary reasoned.

“Okay, just make sure you look after yourselves. Jace, will you be okay doing this on your own?” Alec asked, remembering their talk.

Jace just gave him a shit-eating grin. “I’m sure I’ll survive,” he winked with an annoying cockiness that was uniquely Jace Wayland.

Alec rolled his eyes. “Luke – Jessica was part of your pack and we’ll help you where we can, but you don’t need to take orders from me,” Alec said diplomatically.

Luke nodded in thanks. “I respect that, Alec. My pack will be conducting our own investigation and we’ll be hunting this thing down before it gets another chance to kill.” He was resolute with his words, every bit the leader Alec aspired to be.

“I’ll try and get the warlocks to start casting protective wards,” said Magnus. “We all need to work together if we want to stop this.”

Luke then brought his hand up to meet Alec’s and Magnus’, shaking both when they offered their own hands in return. “I couldn’t agree more.”

 

×××

 

“Alec, do you have a moment?” Luke inquired once the Shadowhunter had sent everyone off again to do their tasks. He and Magnus were heading back to Alec’s office when he felt a hand tap against his shoulder.

“Of course, what is it?”

“It’s the Downworld. I wouldn’t have brought it up if we’d managed to catch this demon but… with Jessica’s death, I have a terrible feeling that things might escalate.”

The anxiety and world-weariness sitting on his back climbed up another stretch on his spine. “This is what I was afraid of,” Alec said.

“A lot of us still aren’t happy with how backwards the Clave is. There were of course people like myself and Maia who knew the Clave wouldn’t change, but lots of people are starting to see through its act,” Luke explained.

“Act?”

Magnus chimed in: “Luke’s referring to Valentine as almost being a shield, a curtain to The Clave’s own prejudices. I was there when the Accords were written and I signed them because they originally promised progress. But they haven’t been updated for over a hundred years. Times have changed; therefore, the laws need to change,” he continued.

“But they haven’t, and people are starting to see through it now that our common enemy is dead,” finished Luke. “I’m just warning you, Alec – if this demon kills another Downworlder and we see that the Clave isn’t doing enough to help… as a worst-case scenario, there could be a revolt.”

Alec swallowed his nerves down. He nodded, unable to find words to react.

“I know some are already defecting to the Seelie Queen now that she’s made her stand, but none of us can trust the Seelies either, not after her deal with Valentine,” Luke added. “Please just… be careful. My pack will help as best as we can.”

“It’s okay, Luke, I’ll try and talk to the Clave about all of this,” Alec remarked, sharply thinking, _if they’ll let me_.

“I’ll update you with everything I know later,” Luke stated. “But, first, um – do you know where I can find Maryse? I thought I should let her know too, being the previous Head of the Institute and all,” he rambled. Magnus’ head perked up whilst Alec just felt confused.

“Um, I think she’s in Idris at the moment, but she’ll be back soon,” he replied.

“Right. Yes. Got it. Um, thank you,” Luke smiled and still rambled, quickly turning towards the exit.

As soon as Luke disappeared around the corner, Magnus let out a hearty laugh which starkly contrasted the most adorable look of confusion on his boyfriend’s face.

 

×××

 

Magnus shut the door behind them. After their conversation with Luke, the warlock had been able to sense Alec's stress (and puzzlement as to why Luke had wanted to tell his mother about all of this) and he was grateful for Magnus to give him a small distraction in this time of pressure.

When they arrived, Alec quickly logged onto his computer, hoping that the other Institutes had gotten his message about the demon attacks. He looked over, finding that some had been spotted in a number of locations: Prague, London, Paris, Tokyo, Sydney, Cape Town. There was no pattern. Some had received signals in small villages, forests, urban cities, and mountain ranges of a demon apparating from thin air to attack, and then disappearing without a trace after someone managed to land a blow. A few people had been seriously injured, and were either in a mundane hospital, believing someone had tried to stab them, or were holed up in a Downworld or Shadowhunter infirmary.

Alec breathed both a sigh of relief and stress. It meant that they weren't alone, but it also meant that this was a global threat.

Magnus walked around the room, magicking candles to flicker on, and then off, like a light switch. "Any news?"

"You were right – this demon seems to be transporting itself across the world instead of between realms. It seems like it doesn't have enough energy to get back," Alec concluded.

"Hmm," Magnus pondered. "If this demon is transporting wildly across countries and continents but is still attacking," he thought, "maybe it doesn't want to get back? A demon wanting to go back to Hell instead of finding a nest will find somewhere quiet and away from Downworlders and Shadowhunters to recuperate and save its energy."

Alec got up from his chair, pacing alongside Magnus. "Most of the Institutes who have replied have said it's been attacking without prejudice. It's even gotten to some mundanes, and they've been the ones who've been hurt most severely, but Jessica seems to be the only fatality," Alec said morosely.

"Its motives are still unclear to me," Magnus mused.

"It seems to have lost its killer instinct," Alec said, as if a lightbulb had gone off in his head. "Maybe that's it!" He exclaimed, his louder tone of voice causing Magnus to stop his pacing.

"I see – if it can't kill, why would it want to return to its masters?"

"Who would probably destroy it for failing," Alec finished. "But that could mean that it's capable of conscious thought?"

"It's not impossible. Rare, but not impossible," Magnus said. He placed his finger underneath his chin, his large talon-like ring gleaming orange in the candlelight. "I'll have to do some research on this. I've heard some tales of demons developing thought, but these stories are centuries old, and more of a hearsay among warlocks than anything else," he explained to Alec.

"Anything will help – maybe if it has thought, we could reason with it?" Alec tried.

"I doubt it but, at this point, I'll take any solution we can get."

Within seconds of their revelation, Izzy and Jace stepped through the doors, their own revelations painted on their faces with wide eyes and taking soldiers' stances.

"We haven't been able to trace any other incident across the world in the past few hours. The attacks seem to have died down since it got Jessica," Jace said as soon as they had stopped their movement.

"I helped Jace before the lab results came back. We were unable to isolate this same pattern anywhere else in the world, which means that it does seem to be just the one demon we're looking for, at least."

"What about the lab results? Do they mean anything?" Magnus asked.

"Nothing too clear at the moment, but it does seem to be a new strain of demon we're looking for," Izzy said, the slightest hint of tension visible on her doll-like face.

"Well, that seems to fit with our theory," Magnus remarked.

Izzy and Jace tilted their heads comically in sync. "What theory?"

"Magnus thinks that this demon may be able to think for itself," Alec started. "It's been unable to kill for a while, so it's transporting itself around the world looking for an easy kill rather than go back to its home realm in case whoever is controlling it deems it a failure and destroys it."

"And since it's on its own, and since demons with conscious thought are so rare, it looks to be an isolated case – but a dangerous one," Magnus finished.

"So, if it's developing conscious thought, does that mean it doesn't like being hurt? Could it also have developed emotions, feelings too?"

"Now, now, my dear Isabelle, we mustn't get ahead of ourselves," Magnus cautioned. "It's rare enough for a demon to think for itself. It's even rarer for it to feel anything except the instinct to kill. Both at the same time would be an even higher feat for any Greater Demon to achieve."

"But... not impossible," Alec mused, echoing Magnus' own words.

Magnus conceeded this. "You're not wrong, Alexander, but we must first try to pin this demon down, at least work out how to stop it from transporting itself away from the threat."

"That sounds like a good plan," Jace agreed. "Is there anywhere we could investigate?”

"How about Prague?" Magnus suggested, his voice lilting with persuasion. "Alec just received word that they've also been under attack from this demon. We may as well pay the Institute there a visit, try to find out what they know."

Alec couldn't see a fault with that plan. "We can let them know what's going on over here as well. We need to try and maintain as much transparency as we can between communities while this demon is still on the loose," Alec reasoned, going to his chair to pick up his jacket.

"Will Biscuit be able to join us?" Magnus inquired to Jace, who shook his head in response.

"No, she's still out there looking for Simon. I'm sure he's fine – going off to do his mundane music stuff or something, but she's worried."

"We'll try to help her after we stop this demon," Alec told Jace, feeling a subtle wave of anxiety coming from his parabatai.

"Well then," Magnus said, his fingers lighting up in anticipation. "Let's stop our chattering and get to Prague!"

Jace and Izzy immediately smiled, Izzy clapping her hands gently with excitement. "Oh, I've never been to the Prague Institute! Alec kept going on and on about the couple of hours that you two were there – the food, the snow – oh I can't wait!"

With that, Jace and Izzy ran out to the corridor, the weapons room on their mind. Magnus started to move towards it, but stopped in his tracks as he noticed Alec was still staring at his computer.

"Have you received any more news from the other Institutes?"

Alec snapped out of his trance-like gaze from the monitor, looking up and smiling. "Oh, no, nothing – I was just checking if I'd missed anything. I'll meet you and the others at the weapons room," he finished.

"If you say so," Magnus replied, closing the door gently with the click of his fingers as he left the room.

Alec immediately shrunk the second the door closed, holding his heads in his hands. He had received a message from the Clave:

_A report has been sent to us concerning the death of a young werewolf girl. We would like to remind you of your responsibilities in maintaining peace and stopping demons from destabilising the Downworld. If you cannot perform your duties promptly, a full investigation will be conducted by the Clave. Kindest regards._

Screw the Clave.

 

×××

 

The portal closed behind them with a _whoosh_ as Alec, Magnus, Izzy and Jace stepped out from the cozy warmth of the Institute into the early morning chill that was beginning to dawn over Prague’s Old Town. Alec was grateful for the soft lining of his jacket as he breathed out, his own breath turning the air misty, and he wrapped the jacket tightly around himself while Magnus brought out a pair of leather gloves.

"It's beautiful," Izzy breathed. Jace was silent but serene, their bond revealing nothing but settling content as the group took in the scene. The Square was covered in a dusting of snow; it covered the old orange rooftops like icing sugar sprinkled on top of gingerbread houses.

"It certainly is, my dear," Magnus said with a smile.

"The Prague Institute isn't too far from here," Alec announced. He sifted through the memories he and Magnus had created on their date, hoping the cold air could explain his red flush as he remembered their brief stay here before Magnus had portaled them to Tokyo. "Just a couple of streets away."

It was quite early in the Sunday morning sunshine. They left footprints in the snow as Izzy's heels clacked against the ground. "I would have worn my snowboots if I'd known I'd get to experience actual snow," Izzy said excitedly, admiring the trail she left behind her.

Jace rolled his eyes. "It's just a couple of inches, it'll probably melt away by the time we leave," he said. That earned him a light punch in the arm from Izzy.

"Afterwards," Magnus began, "I want to finish what we'd started," he muttered to Alec, his breath warm and the insinuation cast away some of the nerves Alec was feeling.

"I like the sound of that," he replied, an edge of joy and anticipation showing through. He tugged at Magnus’ hands, the memory of walking through the same streets bleeding through. Alec smiled at the thought of them and headed to the Prague Institute with a grin on his face.

 

×××

 

Izzy, Jace and Alec had activated their speak-in-tongues runes, and were being given a very brief tour of the Prague Institute by its head, Francika Bluelace. She was headstrong – she reminded Alec of Lydia – and was very matter of fact about the demon incidents.

"We've had a few very severe injuries over the past two days," she told them, bringing them up to their own version of the New York Institute's Ops Centre. It was situated in the middle of the Institute, which was the ruins of an old church hidden away in the side streets of Old Town. They had glamoured it so mundanes could still walk around, giving it the illusion of holding one room only. Later today, it would hold a mass while young Shadowhunters would be undergoing knife-throwing training in the room above them all, again glamoured by local warlocks to give them the impression of a high ceiling.

The church was much older than anything Alec had seen in America. Europe had a richer history, an older one, and it made a very small part of him sad that he was never given the chance to learn about it. He had a feeling that was one of the reasons why Magnus told him so many stories of his time spent with mundanes.

Francika brought his wandering mind back to the present. "It has attacked a couple of mundanes who bared the brunt of its force. One of them was a tourist, someone from one of the Scandinavian countries. We've convinced them it's petty thievery turned violent, but we're not sure if we can keep this excuse up if it eventually kills someone."

"There's been a fatality in New York - it killed a young werewolf girl. She was only 10," Alec briefed her. "But we think it's operating alone, which is about the only good news we have; we were hoping you could help us."

Magnus, in perfectly fluent Czech, spoke up. "We have a working theory that this demon has been given a conscience by whoever made it," he informed Francika.

"I see," she thought to herself. "Well, if it's been active anywhere else in the world, it hasn't been here - I don't think there's anything more I can help you with," she told them.

"We appreciate you allowing to visit," Alec thanked. "If you ever need help, the New York Institute is at your service," he finished.

Francika nodded, her chestnut hair falling over her shoulders as she bowed her head in appreciation and gratitude for the offered assistance.

"I must attend to my duties now," she said. "Please let me know if this develops further." And with that, she walked off briskly, work boots thumping against the cold stone floor.

"Well, she was perfectly delightful," Magnus joked, switching back to English.

Izzy laughed. "Don't be a downer, Magnus," she started as they turned to head back to the exit. "She's just doing her job."

"And I have to collect herbs in all sorts of weird and horrible places, but I still do it with a smile," Magnus said, his hand flourishing to reveal magic of all colours, sparkling brightly against the dull, ageing stone walls of the church.

"I'll portal both you and Jace to the Institute and you can update everyone on what little the Czechs could give us," Magnus instructed.

"Wait," Jace stopped, arm catching lightly on Magnus' arm. He pulled away at Magnus' face, one eyebrow raised in astonishment. "You're not coming back with us?"

"We won't be very long," Alec told him.

"Oh, trust me Alec, you will be," Izzy purred at him. It made a part of Alec's very soul cringe with awkwardness. Rolling his eyes at Izzy was the only way he could express that.

"By the Angel, Iz...” Alec mumbled.

Jace chuckled when he finally realised what Izzy was trying to imply. "Okay, I don't want to hang around, no matter how pretty Prague is in the winter. Come on, Iz."

“No, wait!” Izzy exclaimed, delight still shining in her eyes. As much as her constant innuendos annoyed Alec, he did still appreciate the support Izzy had given him since he came out – well, more like since she was born. He couldn’t imagine a life without her.

“Give me your bow and seraph blade,” she instructed him. “If you guys are going on a date, then it’s going to be a _real_ date, none of our Shadowhunter crap,” she explained at Alec’s puzzled look.

“But what if the demon appears? I’ll need my weapons,” he argued.

Izzy shook her head. “You have Magnus, you won’t need these! I don’t want you holding onto them all night while Magnus is taking you out!” she countered. God, Alec felt so embarrassed. Magnus was doing all he could not to laugh in front of his family.

“Fine,” he conceded, letting his bow, quiver and seraph blade all appear and handed the weapons over to Izzy. “If I die tonight, I’m blaming you,” he said sarcastically.

“Have a great night!” Izzy chirped, ignoring his dry remark and giving a little wave as Magnus activated the portal.

And with that, they stepped through. It closed after them with a whir that stirred some of the unsettled snow around Alec's feet. His cheeks were still a rosy pink from Izzy's comments.

"Come on, Alexander," Magnus smiled, offering a gloved hand out to Alec, who took it with quiet fervour. "Let's go finish our date."

 

×××

 

“I know New York has its charms, but Prague during the winter is not something to be missed,” Magnus stated, almost matter-of-factly. Alec took in his surroundings and quickly concluded Magnus was right.

They had walked back into Prague’s Old Town Square. This time, Alec took the time to notice that the pastel-coloured buildings surrounding them were decorated with patterned artwork, and some even had sculptures. To his left, Alec could see a beautiful cream-coloured church sitting behind a dark tower, its bricks a mixture of black, grey, brown and biscuit-gold. A magnificent statue stood proudly in the centre, and was strange to Alec because of its sea-blue colour. He remembered having that exact same thought when Magnus first took him here.

He looked at the statue, trying again to work out its history, the story behind the people depicted, the positioning of their bodies, but he didn’t know anything about it. He could list out the names of famous Shadowhunters, which battles they had fought and died in, but mundane history was never considered important enough by the Clave to be taught to young Nephilim undergoing training. Alec wished that he knew more.

“Well, considering we were only here for five minutes,” Alec said, smirking, remembering their quick little pit-stop at markets and a cute patisserie, but nothing more. “I may need my own personal tour guide for this one.”

Magnus laughed in a way that made his entire body shake. “Come on then, Shadowhunter,” he said as he hooked his arm through Alec’s own until their hands slipped together. “Let me show you the delights the Czechs have to offer us.”

 

×××

 

Magnus could never do things by halves. If they were going for a meal together, Magnus would reserve only the best tables in New York’s top restaurants, would book premium suites at hotels – even if they weren’t staying the night – for afterwards. He had built up a collective wealth over the course of his lifetime and he loved to use it.

So, it made sense that whenever Magnus was retelling a story, he never left anything out, not even the little details: what someone was wearing, their hairstyle at the time, the music, someone’s mannerisms. Everything had been catalogued so that Magnus could retell his stories, enriching them with the life they had once lived.

He told Alec about the time of the Czech's national revival, picking out buildings and monuments he had witnessed being built and placed throughout the city both before and after the Industrial Revolution. They explored some of the markets – all gorgeously filled with bright paintings, trinkets, traditional food – until they had walked a full circle back to Old Town Square.

“I have a treat for you,” Magnus said as he tugged Alec’s arm towards the large tower Alec had noticed earlier.

A large crowd had begun to gather now, tourists being pushed back towards the doors of shops and restaurants behind them.

“Here we are!” Magnus exclaimed. Alec looked at him, and let his gaze follow Magnus’ outstretched arm and pointed fingers towards a large clock on the side of the tower. It was beautiful – two clock faces stood on top of one another in gold against deep blue. It was decorated intricately, gold ornaments standing out gracefully against the black detailing along the sides of the clock, statues poking out in various places.

“It’s beautiful,” said Alec.

Magnus smiled. “Indeed, it is – it was built even before I was born,” he stated.

Alec raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes. I believe this was first installed in the early 1400s. It was a feat of engineering even during my younger years,” he continued. “It’s party trick should start any second now.”

Alec turned to him, quizzical. “Party trick?”

The clock then struck the hour, it’s chimes high-pitched and delicate. Rustling whispers among tourists began to creep into Alec’s ears as he watched tiny windows open high up in the tower. Inside, little figurines began to crawl across the open windows, sliding slowly across as the bell continued its baby chimes. Alec was enchanted by its mundane magic as he began to realise all the details – men bearing crosses, others hooded with large beards, one even carrying a golden sword.

And then, after thirty seconds of these tiny people circulating by the windows, the clock let out a strange sound that resembled a sad goose which had been forced to honk, as the wooden curtains drew back to end the performance. Alec, along with many tourists around him, began to chuckle.

“Over three hundred years later and it still amazes me,” Magnus said. “In today’s age it may seem a little… disappointing, but it’s an incredible relic of mundanes who aspired to achieve beyond their limitations.”

Alec looked over at Magnus, taking in his wistful gaze and small smile as the crowd began to disperse, looked at the way his skin glowed under the noon sun, the redness of his cheeks from the winter chill and he fell in love with the warlock just a little more. He took Magnus’ gloved hand in his own.

“I’m starved, let’s find something to eat?” he suggested, enjoying the way Magnus’ eyes instantly lit up, the mechanisms of his brain instantly remembering tiny cafes and up-scale restaurants.

Magnus then said, “I know just the place.”

 

×××

 

Magnus belted out a soul-warming chuckle as Alec failed to stop stew from dripping off his spoon and all the way down his chin. So far, his experience with Guláš hadn’t gone well.

Magnus had walked Alec down a few side streets away from the main Square to a tiny little restaurant away from tourists. A small band was playing something jazzy in the corner and candles bathed the room in golden light that made the necklaces around Magnus’ neck sparkle as his shoulders bobbed up and down with his laughter.

Alec glared at him while hurriedly wiping his chin. “It’s not funny.”

“You trying to defend this is almost as hilarious as your inability to use a spoon.”

“This is harder to eat than you think!” Alec exclaimed.

“Then how am I perfectly clean?”

“You have an unfair advantage with your many years of practise.”

Magnus had insisted they order traditional Czech Guláš, a rich beef stew with bread dumplings cooked together and served in a bread bowl. Alec, so used to the Institute’s food comprising of strict meal plans to complement their rigorous training regime, found it took some time for him to get used to its rich, salty flavour and dripping texture.

Magnus had already polished his off having used the last of the bread to wipe his dish perfectly clean and crunching on a small pile of red onion slices on the side (which Alec had no idea what to do with). Alec would feel embarrassed if he didn’t love the way the whole scenario made Magnus throw his head back with laughter.

Magnus’ soft giggles continued but his teasing stopped as Alec continued to eat his meal.

“Would you two like dessert?” a waitress asked softly once Alec finally managed to eat the last piece of bread left.

“I think we’ve made enough of a mess here for one day,” Magnus said with lingering cheerfulness, eyes crinkled. “We’ll have the bill.”

“Right, one moment please,” the waitress said curtly before taking their now empty plates from them.

Alec frowned a little bit. “No dessert?”

“No,” Magnus said, a little wry. “At least, not here.”

 

×××

 

The sun was beginning to set and its orange cast warmed the winter air and gave the illusion that the city’s roofs were glowing. After Magnus had paid for their meal, he had guided Alec from the cosiness of the restaurant, through the streets of Old Town to a little dessert place, it’s shop almost like a hole in the wall.

“Good evening my friends!” a man with a thick Czech accent called from its window, his eyes focusing on the rotation of sweet-smelling pastry spinning slowly in the air. “How can I help?”

“Oh, Matyáš, is this any way to greet an old friend?”

Matyáš looked up, a blinding grin climbing across his wrinkled face. “Magnus! Drahý Bože, you haven’t aged a day.”

“My skin care routine has never failed me.”

“Who is your new friend?”

“This is Alec, my boyfriend – Alec, meet Matyáš, the best Trdelník maker in all of Prague.”

Matyáš let out a booming laugh. Tourists all looked to them at the sound. Some of their faces piqued with interest.

After what seemed to Alec to be minutes of laughter, but in reality was only a few seconds, Matyáš finally managed to calm down enough to keep his desserts spinning on the heat. "What can I get for you?” he asked, wiping away a small tear.

"Chocolate sauce will do nicely," Magnus insisted, bringing out some money from his coat pocket. Alec would ask where he had gotten that from but, between his magic and his experience, he didn't feel the need to.

"No, Magnus, you don't need to worry about that," Matyáš argued whilst waving his hands in the air in an attempt to push the money physically away from him.

"You know me Matyáš, I won't not pay."

Matyáš grumbled in Czech, Alec's speak-in-tongues rune starting to fade away. He quickly reached for his stele and thought about activating it again, but Matyáš was more observant than Alec first thought, so he decided against it. Matyáš was looking him up and down whilst coating the inside of the hollow dessert in chocolate sauce.

Finally, and frustratingly, Alec's speak-in-tongues rune had faded away, so any Czech was impossible for him to understand. He stood there, wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights as Matyáš seemed to ask him something long and complicated.

"Uh," he tried, tongue fumbling over lost words. "I'm sorry, I don't speak Czech."

Magnus hid his snort so badly Alec thought he wasn't really trying to spare him any dignity at all. Alec rolled his eyes.

"Americký?" Matyáš asked.

"Ano, Americký."

 

×××

 

Magnus moved Alec away from the touristy streets and to a bench near the river. He had made Alec promise to not start eating his Trdelník until Magnus had found the perfect spot to eat. The sun was beginning to set and the snow had failed to melt, even though Jace had promised that it would. Instead, it seemed as if it had snowed whilst they had both been inside in the warmth of the restaurant, the snow glistening white and new, as if not seeing the day's sun.

Wrapped up in his thoughts, Alec almost dropped his Trdelník into the very snow he was trying to gauge as Magnus gripped his arm and yanked him towards a park bench up the top a hill.

"That one," he said with finality. "It's perfect."

Alec had taken his right glove off to hold his dessert, and his fingers were numb in the frigid air. "Finally," he muttered to himself. Magnus then magicked a small patch of snow into ice, causing Alec to slip just a little bit.

"I heard that," Magnus tutted playfully. He turned around to watch Alec struggle off the ice and towards the bench once his foot caught solid ground. In any other circumstance, Alec would have been only slightly mad, but he knew he deserved it when he finally managed to sit himself down onto the bench, Trdelník in one hand and Magnus' hand in his other. He looked up towards the view, and couldn't help the sudden, sharp intake of breath.

Magnus really had chosen the perfect spot. They were both surrounded by long, finger-thin trees, their leaves fallen long ago to reveal their bare branches. They casted spider-like shadows onto the snow beneath them, which glistened pink and orange in the sun's light.

The sun was what had taken Alec's breathe away so quickly. It burned a bright orange, setting the sky on fire. Deep, scarlet reds merged with dark purples, inky blues and pastel pinks, painting the sky a brilliant array of colours. The river seemed to mirror its effect, appearing as if it too was on fire. Some of the snow on the orange rooftops had melted throughout the day, which only seemed to give the impression that the whole city of Prague was under siege from the setting sun's assault.

"Isn't this wonderful," Magnus said gently. He could feel the pull of the view too. Magnus' voice was delicate. Alec held onto his hand in an ever-so-slightly tighter grip.

"Thank you, Magnus."

It was as if gravity was pulling Magnus to Alec as they leaned in to each other. Alec softly bumped his forehead against Magnus', feeling warmth meet Alec's cold skin. Then, slowly, savouring the moment, Alec met Magnus' lips. They were warm and tender as they made their slow dance, starting off gracefully with gentle kisses before Alec deepened them slightly, searching for more. Magnus followed Alec's lead, letting him explore Magnus's lips as if they'd never done this before.

When they finally managed to pull away, it was to half-lidded eyes, soppy smiles and rosy cheeks.

"I love you," Alec said, with all the conviction he could muster for his cracked voice.

"I love you too," Magnus replied with whisky-warm eyes.

In that moment, Alec felt the knots in his stomach loosen to nothing, instead being replaced by a frisson of energy running through his bloodstream, a thrill that gripped him like butterflies. He took Magnus' hand in his, eyes darting across his face, and leaned in again. It was a simple kiss, what could only be described by an outsider as a peck – but to Alec and Magnus it was the world. It was fireworks and the slow burn of coals all at once, a symbol of their love. The snow and the cold only accentuated that warmth, and Alec rubbed his fingers over Magnus, tracing his lifelines as he pulled away.

"Careful, my love," said Magnus, snapping Alec out of his trance. "You're going to lose your Trdelník."

"Oh, crap," Alec said, scrambling his hands to find his Trdelník knocked onto the park bench, the paper napkin given for him to keep the dessert clean only half resting below the Trdelník, leaving it partially lying in snow. Alec quickly darted his hands to get it, covering his fingers in chocolate sauce. "Yeah, well, you can talk, yours isn't even on the bench," Alec retorted with a smirk, noticing Magnus' fallen Trdelník on the ground.

As much as Alec would later tell Izzy how Magnus fumbled for his dessert as he had done, Magnus only clicked his fingers for it to return to him, snow free. Alec frowned, sceptically, but persisted with his dessert. He licked his fingers to clean the chocolate sauce off of them, knowing full well it was also to frustrate Magnus.

"I guess we're even then," Magnus remarked as he dug into his Trdelník elegantly, keeping his face sugar and sauce free. Alec bulldozed into his instead, taking in the fluffy pastry, now cold, the richness of the chocolate and sweetness of the sugar. He left a little around the edges of his mouth, distracted by the delight of the dessert, and almost moaned at how good it was.

"I'm glad you like it," said Magnus after Alec began to devour the Trdelník. "I've never had it as good as how Matyáš does them; they're either too sweet, too chewy or with unbalanced flavours. I'd knew you'd love it."

And love it Alec did. "We should come here more often," he said as tucked into the last of his dessert.

 

×××

 

The sun had long set and the sky ink-black dark, Prague lit up only by streetlights, when suddenly Alec felt a shift in the air behind him. Alec and Magnus had been talking for hours, holding gloved hands as Alec told Magnus about how he grew up in the Institute and the time Izzy had almost set the kitchen on fire trying to make them all brownies when he felt the change, much to his lover’s amusement. Magnus looked at him curiously.

"What is it?" He asked.

Alec swallowed. "I don't know," he replied. "I just — it felt as if something brought in the cold," he said.

"Darling, it’s freezing," Magnus assured him. "Maybe we should head back to town and find a hotel we can book in before heading back to the Institute?" he suggested. The words sounded good to Alec. _That sounds like a brilliant plan and we should definitely do that,_ Alec's head tried to say out loud. But then, he saw it.

"The demon, it's here!" He shouted, jumping out from the chair to face the demon, which had appeared into the space behind them.

Magnus jumped up with him and his hands lit up red in preparation. The demon shrieked, sending shivers down Alec's spine.

And then he realised: he had no bow or arrow with him, nor his seraph blade. He had given them to Jace and Izzy before he and Magnus had split away from them.

He had an emergency dagger hidden in his boot, and he quickly slipped it out as Magnus distracted the demon with his magic. It dodged Magnus' powers in quick motions.

Alec held onto the dagger in a tight grip, not letting his lack of weaponry affect his capability of judgement in a battle situation. He vaulted over the bench, trusting Magnus to cover him, which he did with a brilliant pulse of red that was thrown towards the demon with immense speed – but the demon was quicker.

"Be careful, Alexander," Magnus warned. "The demon seems to have gained some confidence," he observed, watching how the demon seemed to stalk Alec despite Magnus throwing an armada of magic towards it.

Alec tried to read its body language and assess its weak points. He remembered where he had shot the thing before, right in its belly, and he knew he needed to get close to it. He sidestepped it when the demon took a step forward, trying to ere on the side of caution.

It shrieked again, but this time it jumped at Alec. Its claws were longer than he had expected, and they pierced through his jacket with ease, slicing into his skin and drawing blood. Alec winced as its weight pushed him to the floor. Alec thanked the Angel for the soft snow and grass beneath him as his head hit the ground with a thud. He could hear Magnus crying out his name in the background and sending pulse after pulse of magic, finally managing to get a hit on the demon as it lay on top of Alec. But Alec had to concentrate – he still had the dagger in his grip, so he chose to thrust it into the demon's belly where he had pierced it with the arrow before.

The demon cried out in pain. Drops of its spit splattered Alec's face, but it didn't move. Rather, it gripped its claws deeper into Alec's shoulder, eliciting a pained moan from Alec as well. Alec used his left arm, his free one, to re-hold the hilt of the dagger and stab it again while Magnus, angrier now at the very fact that someone dared to continue laying their hands on his beloved despite his warnings, sent a furore of scarlet magic at the demon which finally managed to knock it off of Alec's body.

It was weaker now. Alec looked into the demon’s eyes – two pits of darkness – and thought he was going mad. He could see it's confusion, could see it trying to decide if it should continue the fight or abandon it. It was calculating a choice.

The moment was over in a flash of magic as Magnus was finally able to get a hold of the demon. Taking inspiration from Izzy, he had created a whip of fire that wrapped around the demon's throat, choking and burning it simultaneously. Its helpless cries began to splutter as Magnus wrapped the magic whip tighter and tighter until it could no longer breathe. The ichor seemed to act like an oil, carrying the fire around the demon's body, burning it to the ground, leaving nothing but a puddle of blackness mixed with melted snow.

It was over. It was dead.

The realisation brought Alec back to reality. He immediately clutched his right shoulder and groaned, lying down in the snow as the pain grew.

"Alec, are you okay?" Magnus called out as he dashed to Alec's side. Immediately, blue sparks began to encircle Alec's shoulder, casting a strange hum on his skin that felt like warm vibrations. Slowly, the pain dissipated to nothing.

"I'm fine now, I promise, I'm okay," he breathed to Magnus. The warlock was still unconvinced, his features exhibited worry for his wounded boyfriend. Alec dissipated the pain by leaning up and placing a short kiss on the warlock’s lips. Then, his brain sparking as he realized, he said: "We did it – we stopped it."

Magnus now smiled. "Let's never let Isabelle take away your weapons, no matter how romantic our future dates are going to be," Magnus suggested with a chuckle. "We could end up having to save the world."

Alec laughed with Magnus, gladly taking his hand to stand up away from the cold snow, which had wet his pants so much that the cold was seeping through to his legs.

"We need to tell the others," said Alec.

"That's true – if you text Isabelle the details, I can portal the demon's body to her lab for further checks," Magnus offered. Alec immediately pulled his phone out, wincing at the stiffness that remained in his shoulder from the demon's claws.

"Do you think it's claws could be poisoned?" Alec asked, a sudden tendril of anxiety pooling in his stomach.

"No – my magic would have noticed," Magnus assured. "There was nothing but the claw marks to heal."

Alec nodded in relief as he texted Izzy the details of their fight. The reply came within seconds ‘WELL AREN’T U 2 HAVING FUN' plus a string of emojis that Alec didn't even want to acknowledge.

“Let’s go take this back to Izzy – she’s prepping the lab for it now,” Alec suggested as Magnus knelt by the demon, investigating its remains.

“Yes, perhaps she can shed some light as to how this rare creature came to life,” Magnus voiced. He stood back up, taking Alec’s cold hand. His free hand clicked a shimmering portal into life that shrouded both them and the demon’s body. All that remained when they disappeared was an ichor-filled puddle and messy footprints in the snow.

 

×××

 

Isabelle almost looked too happy to see Alec and Magnus when they portalled in with the dead demon in tow. Her eyes had sparkled and she had clapped her hands so childishly it physically reminded Alec of when they were both younger. There had been one day when their mother and father had been called to the Rome Institute at extremely short notice, leaving the two, aged just seven and five years old, to fend for themselves in the playroom with plastic seraph blades. As a sorry, their parents had returned from Italy with a host of treats: ice-cream, cakes, biscuits, fresh lemonade bottled just for them, and a home-made pizza for the family to share. It was probably Alec's happiest memory as a child, a time where there was no pressure to perform his duties, to be the very best he could be, which was the best out of everyone. Izzy couldn't stop clapping when her eyes had found the goodies.

Alec groaned as she started to dissect the demon's remains. She first took samples of its ichor again. "For consistency checks, Alec, this thing could have mutated!" she exclaimed when Alec asked her why she was checking again.

"I think we should leave your sister to her element," Magnus suggested as Izzy pulled her hair back to stop it from both contaminating the body and from getting it too messy. Her gaze was now fully focused, and Alec knew there would be no getting in between her and this project.

"How about we go celebrate instead?"

Alec's own gaze found Magnus’, whose face seemed to be at peace with the world. "I think you have the best ideas out of everyone I know," Alec complimented, his lips smirking.

"Oh, go be cute somewhere else, I have to concentrate!" Izzy piped up just as the two were making their way out of her lab.

"We'll see you later, Iz!" Alec called before shutting the door firmly behind him, but not before a ‘Don't make out just yet' from his sister that caused his cheeks to flush scarlet.

"Now," he said to Magnus. "Where were we?"

 

×××

 

It took them barely a couple of minutes before the two had reached Alec's office. Magnus had insisted on portalling, but Alec didn't want him to use any more magic than necessary after the fight in Prague. Instantly, Alec had gotten the fire roaring whilst Magnus snapped his fingers to reveal two flute glasses and a bottle of very expensive champagne.

"A toast," Magnus announced. "To us and our demon-killing ways," he finished, pouring the champagne into the glasses before resting it in an ice-filled bucket, which Alec had not noticed appearing, his focus too concentrated on Magnus in the dim firelight.

Alec took the glass Magnus offered to him, clinking it against Magnus' own before taking a sip. He only winced slightly at the alcohol, but it was very good champagne, far more tolerable compared to the beer Magnus had gotten him to try on their first date.

"I still can't believe how hard it was to take down that demon. I was sure your magic would have finished it off," Alec voiced.

"True," Magnus said, slightly worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. He took another swig of champagne. "I’m confused about that. It wasn't basic magic I was using either – to get enough power even just to knock that demon off of you took more energy than I thought I would need to expend," he explained to Alec. "Here's to hoping Isabelle can reveal any secrets it's holding."

"I'll drink to that," Alec agreed, holding his glass higher for emphasis before taking another sip himself.  "And to Jessica," he continued. He rose his glass again with a sad look that Magnus returned.

"To Jessica," he echoed. They drank in silence.

"I'm glad it's over now. Hopefully there'll be no more unwarranted attacks and we can start to think about getting our worlds to settle down more."

"Do you ever not think about your job?" Magnus jokingly enquired as Alec started to stare off in wonder, his head going back to all the things Luke had told him. The Seelie Queen, Simon's disappearance, a possible revolt...

"I'm sorry," Alec apologised. His message from the Clave echoed in the back of his brain. "Apparently, I just can't turn off today."

"Well," Magnus teased. "I hope you save some of your thoughts for me," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively in a way that uncontrollably elicited giggles from Alec. Must be the champagne.

Suddenly, Izzy burst through the doors, breathing hard and fast. “Alec!” she cried out.

“Izzy, what’s wrong?” Alec asked. Izzy’s hair was dishevelled from the run. Seconds later, Jace and Clary stood right behind her. Their faces were low, eyes sparkling with fear. Shadowhunters didn’t _feel_ fear. When he probed the parabatai bond, Alec could feel Jace’s anxiety ramping up.

“It’s the scanners, they’re picking up more activity like the demon you two killed,” she explained, slightly breathless.

“But we killed it. It should be the only one in existence,” Magnus argued. His brows were furrowed in confusion.

“That’s just the thing,” Clary said. “It’s not just one demon anymore. There are more, so many more.”

“They’re everywhere, Alec,” Izzy declared. “They’re all over the world.”

 

×

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Kilig_ , Tagalog: “often used in the Philippine culture to refer to the thrilling feeling of butterflies in your stomach that you typically feel when something romantic happens.”
> 
>  **Warnings** : there are discussions of the death of a young child and the aftermath of her parents' grief. This is a very sensitive topic, so I hope I have treated it with the right care. Additionally, there is a scene featuring violence, but I feel this is canon-typical. In this scene, Alec is injured by a demon and the scene describes the way Alec and Magnus kill it. Feel free to let me know of any other warnings you feel have not been included.
> 
> Unfortunately, I'm not fluent in Czech, but I wanted authenticity to the fic so Google Translate was used for all translations. I know how much of a pain it can be so, if you know/are fluent in Czech, please tell me if there's anything that needs fixing!
> 
> I have actually been to Prague so a lot of this is based on my own experiences there! If you ever get a chance to go, I really recommend trying the Czech food – so much cheaper than the expensive touristy places lying about, especially if you walk a bit further away from Old Town, and just as delicious.
> 
> Please leave a kudo and/or comment if you like it (or not, just knowing people are reading this is wonderful)!


	3. ré nao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> university work caught up with me, so I apologise for the week-long delay! 
> 
> **warnings** are in the end notes.

×

 

There was so little time to prepare himself before Izzy, Jace and Clary had run Alec and Magnus to the ops centre, where scanners beeped a furious, angry red. Flashing dots poked up on various places on a large holographic map: Paris, New Mexico, Tokyo, Beijing, New Delhi, somewhere in Antarctica. It seemed as if every continent had this same demonic activity pattern.

"But we killed it," Alec exclaimed.

"It seems as if you didn't," Clary sighed. "There's so many more, and these aren't just isolated activities. The dots are showing more than one demon in one area now," she read as the analysis report appeared at the bottom of the map, describing what Alec didn’t want to believe. He wearily placed his fingers against the bridge of his nose, squeezing ever so slightly.

"Have we heard from any other Institutes in these areas?" Alec asked.

"Just the one – Paris," Jace reported. "They've had a number of attacks on anything that moves, basically. They reported no deaths, but it seems as if one of our own might not make it by the time the sun dawns," he told them all.

"Everyone needs to be on alert," Magnus instructed. "I'll call my people and tell them to reinforce the wards and to stay inside where possible. No one should walk around alone, either," he continued.

"Okay, that sounds like a good pla-argh," Jace groaned. Alec's parabatai bond flared for half a second before disappearing altogether completely.

"Jace!" He cried out, catching his parabatai before Jace could collapse to the floor. Jace's hands were shaking as they clutched his stomach, his breathing increasing rapidly, his groans morphing more into screams.

"Jace – it's Clary, can you hear me?" Clary tried to say, kneeling down in front of Jace, before Magnus brushed her out of the way. Magnus gripped Jace tightly before encouraging Alec to move him out of the ops centre, away from prying eyes drawn to the commotion.

"What's going on?" He shot a look at Clary before very briefly calming himself down.

"I-I don't know!" She exclaimed. "He's been complaining about stomach pains for the past couple of days, but I haven't seen _this_ , I don't know!" She rambled. Alec could see the lie in her eyes, but ignored it in favour of holding on to his brother. He would ask her about this again later.

Jace was now almost writhing in Alec's arms. His hands kept clinging to his stomach as if his fingers were embedded in his stomach. He was squirming and, even with his nephilim strength, Alec was finding it difficult to hold Jace still.

"Please, Jace, you have to snap out of this, we need you," Alec pleaded. The bond felt severed, like the day of Valentine's death when he thought his world have caved and Jace had died.

Magnus tried to use his magic to soothe Jace, but he, too, felt as if his attempts were being blocked. "It's like it's forcing the magic away, his body is rejecting it. I don't understand how this is happening," Magnus confessed as he pulled away his magic.

And then, his face dropped. "Something's trying to attack him," Magnus concluded.

"What?" Izzy breathed, her hand resting on top of one of Jace's own, trying to be comforting. "They can't get past the wards, how could they be attacking him inside the institute?"

"That's a good question," Magnus replied.

"I think it's stopping," Clary perked up, crawling closer to Jace and replacing Izzy's hand with both of hers. "Jace, it's me – it's Clary. You're with everyone," she deliberated as Jace came to. "Can you hear me?"

Slowly, Jace's hands stopped shaking. He blinked sleepily. His skin went from red to sheet-white. His head lolled around in Alec's lap as he started to gain consciousness, his movements elongated. A rush of emotion hit Alec through the bond – confusion, tiredness, pain, a dripping, slimy sensation of blackness – before Jace's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out.

Relieved sighs were the only sound to penetrate the heavy silence that lingered in the air.

 

×××

 

Alec tucked Jace into bed. Magnus had given him a magical check over and reported that Jace was fine, just drained of energy. Clary had bitten her lips red raw with worry, the day’s tole of searching for Simon, who was still missing, and Jace’s collapse hitting her at full force.

Alec looked at her and saw himself; saw the fatigue and the anxiety, the helplessness that comes with not knowing how you can save the people you love the most. He remembered how much he hated her when she first arrived at the Institute. She had turned his perfectly-ordered world upside down. But then maybe without Clary there would be no Magnus, maybe Valentine wouldn't be dead. Maybe he wouldn't be the person he was now.

He knew for certain that Jace had become better with her, a more emotional person. Alec felt it every day in the bond. It was why whatever was happening to Jace was so disconcerting. Parabatai bonds couldn't just be interfered with like a television signal, it was more complex than that.

Being the leader that he was, Alec tried to bury his worries down deep to remain a stoic force for Clary, Izzy and Magnus at this time. He would talk with Magnus about this later, no doubt.

 

×××

 

Alec gently shut the door to Jace's room, leaving a very concerned Clary to watch over him, and almost collapsed as it clicked into place. Magnus placed his palm gently upon Alec's cheek. His skin was smooth, and his thumb stroked careful lines that gave Alec something to focus on as he rested his head on the wooden panelling.

"It feels like everything's caving in," Alec started. He couldn't find the words. "As if everything bad seems to be hitting us all at once."

"Alec... I know that sometimes even I can let my emotions cloud my judgement... but I've lived for centuries. I've seen civil wars, world wars, arguments between friends that felt like the end of everything. But it didn't. The world kept spinning and, eventually, those conflicts resolved.

"I was terrified that the Clave would never change despite seeing progress myself. But I see it in you, in Clary, and in your sister. I see it in the way your mother is slowly coming around to your worldview to accept who you are. I see it in the young trainees who can easily share space with downworlders as equals, something almost unheard of 20 years ago," he continued.

"But it's not just this,"  Alec sighed. "It's the demons, it's whatever's happening to Jace. I know I wanted to be a leader and I knew that situations like this were possible, but..."

"But you never thought they would actually happen," Magnus finished for him.

Alec nodded. "And I always thought the Clave would have my back if I was head of the Institute. I don't see them changing, not until the system is completely reformed but even my _saying_ that, even me _thinking_ about disobeying them is practically treason," Alec disclosed, trying so desperately to keep his voice quiet, just in case the new investigator from the Clave was listening in.

"Whatever the Clave throws at us, we stick together," Magnus decided. "We don't let them drag us apart, we don't let them overtake the investigation, and we don't let them treat the deaths of downworlders and shadowhunters any differently. As long as we follow these rules together, maybe we might be able to stop all this."

Alec felt his lips curl into a sideways smile. He didn't know how Magnus could be so calm whilst he was so restless. But Alec was also strong, and a part of him knew that. He would do anything to protect the people he loves, and the communities of his and Magnus' people were a part of that.

"You give the best advice," Alec proclaimed. "Everyone should listen to you," he said with a light snort as he suddenly realised his fleeting panic had passed.

"Oh darling, if everyone listened to me we'd all be drinking whiskey and wine and partying our conflicts away," laughed Magnus. "Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea?"

"Do you know any species of consciously aware demons that can dance, by any chance?" Alec joked.

"Wouldn't that be a nightmare – demons with choreographed fighting, we would all be doomed."

"Well, as long as we don't say anything in front of them, they shouldn't learn of our brilliant plan towards everyone's destruction," chortled Alec.

They stood there together, just giggling - quietly, so as to not disturb Jace or Clary - and coming up with fanciful ways the demons could learn new skills to outsmart them.

"I'd stop fighting a demon if one suddenly decided to try stand up," Magnus suggested at one point.

"Hmm, not sure I'd be able to understand it beyond the shrieking, but I'd at least lower my bow if it pulled out a microphone."

They giggled their way through various ideas of juggling, miming and break-dancing demons, worry slowly dissolving away from Alec with every laugh. Their respite was soon interrupted, however, when Alec's phone started to go off.

 _Red Alert_ the screen flashed. Its colour stirred up Alec's stress response, and he immediately stood up. Magnus had been holding onto his arm at the time, and was pulled up by the sheer speed of which Alec's body reacted to the threat.

"Someone's breached the Institute," he announced. He looked to Magnus, who seemed to share the same weary resilience as him as they both ran to the front doors.

When they got to the control room, shadowhunters were standing around a figure sat jadedly on the floor, skin white as a sheet, hands covering their face and rubbing at the skin. Alec had retrieved his seraph blade on the way over from when Izzy had put it away for Prague, and was now breaking the front lines of shadowhunters, pointing it at the figure. And then he lowered it just as quickly as he had it raised.

It was Simon. He had found his way back.

 

×××

 

Alec had called off the soldiers, assuring them Simon wasn't a threat. Magnus had called Clary's cell as soon as he'd seen Simon huddling into himself by the wall, his hands shaking with relief as he saw Alec approach him. Within minutes, Clary was bounding through the control room and she almost toppled Simon with the force of her hug.

Clary was sobbing. "Where have you been? We've been worried sick!" She wept. Alec could tell that Simon didn't know what to do with the attention, so tried to get Clary to at least ease the vice-like grip she had on him with little success.

"It's okay, Clary," Simon started, voice far more relaxed now that Clary was in his arms. "I'm okay, I promise. I just had to go away for a while," he tried to explain.

"But why? Maia, Luke and I have been looking for you for almost a week now. There was no message from you, no note telling us where you were or why you left?" Clary sputtered. "Simon. Where were you?" She asked again, but she had stopped sniffling and Alec could feel the weight behind her question.

Simon just looked down. He tried avoiding her gaze, but struggled to keep his eyes still as Clary examined him. "I had to get away," he started. His voice cracked as he tried pulling the words from his tongue. "I made a deal with the Seelie Queen before Valentine's death after she kidnapped Maia," he explained.

"Simon, we could have helped you," Clary said soothingly, but it backfired.

"No, Clary, you couldn't! None of you could! Not even Luke could help me and he's the leader of their pack!”

Clary sat in front of him, mouth hanging open, but silent. Simon tried to gather his breath back before continuing.

"She offered me a choice: either I tried to find Maia on my own and have all of us ending up trapped in the Wandering Woods for all eternity, or I promised to stay with the Seelie Queen as her Daylighter champion and save Maia," he finished.

"Why did the Seelie Queen want you?" Magnus inquired. "I know your Daylighter status makes you a very rare and special being, but the battle with Valentine was over when you went to her."

Simon again looked down to the ground. Alec could read his guilt, the shame of his decision. "Magnus, you know what she wanted, right?"

"Yes," Magnus nodded. "To finally separate the downworld from the Clave, to finally be rid of its prejudices with her as the leader of the downworld and..." Magnus trailed.

Oh, Alec thought. "She wanted you to be her honey," Alec concluded.

"Honey?" Simon questioned.

"Yeah, a honey trap. Daylighters are, as Magnus said, rare, and with many legends surrounding their powers. She wanted you to attract downworlders to her cause," Alec rambled, head spinning with thoughts.

He thought he was explaining, but even Alec didn't really know what was going on right now. Everything was so confusing.

"I mean-" Simon interrupted. His tongue tripped over his words as his brain rapidly processed what Alec was saying. "There were quite a few downworlders defecting to her. None of them ever mentioned me but- they stared... all the time! It creeped me out and I guess of a part of me always knew she was trying to amass something, but mostly I just sat around doing nothing."

"Then why did you escape?" Magnus asked. "If she wasn't harming or using you for anything directly, why did you come here?"

Simon swallowed. Clary patted her hand against his shoulder. "It's okay, you can tell us," she assured him. "We don't want things to escalate more than they already have."

Simon conceded to Clary, and tried to collect his thoughts. Alec watched him keenly for any signs that the Seelie Queen had gotten him involved in some sort of plan, but Simon just looked relieved to be with everyone, with Clary.

"I've been hearing mutterings in the forest," he began. "They keep whispering about death, and destruction, and the end of all things unless the shadowworld and downworld work together, basically. I mean – it was very cryptic, when are the Seelie's not, but I knew I had to get out of there and warn you all. I'm guessing the Queen is planning something deadly and her soldiers have been training more and more each day. I was worried!"

Magnus turned to Alec, a heavy look in his eyes. "So, you think that if we can't reason with the Queen, then there'll be all out war?" He suggested.

Simon nodded his head, gravely. "Yeah, I think that's the gist of it, um... yeah."

Clary brought him in for another hug, sensing Simon's anxiety. "As long as she didn't hurt you," she started as Simon shook his head.

"No, she didn't, I'm completely fine. Apart from feeling like a trapped rabbit all the time, I didn't really do much," he promised.

Magnus drew Alec away from Clary and Simon as they reunited into the corner of the room.

"The Seelie Queen won't like that he's disappeared," he told Alec. "If she needed him to gain trust of other downworlders, she might already be getting forces together."

Alec breathed out. It seemed like that's all he did now, trying to rid his body of all the stress that was building up over political tension. The wrong movement, the wrong word, could lead to war if he wasn't careful.

"Then what do we do? We can't make Simon go back just to keep the peace holding a little longer, it's not fair on him," said Alec. "But we also can't let the Seelie Queen decide to start a war between us if she thinks we've stolen him from her," he argued.

"That is also true," Magnus concluded. The rings on his fingers glinted as he held his chin, thinking. "It seems like, once again, we're stuck between a rock and a hard place."

Alec nodded in agreement. God, nothing could ever be simple, could it?

"We should at least call Raphael to let him know where Simon is, and Luke and Maia too," Alec suggested. His father always taught him to start with the little things when life got tough. That if you had a long list of impossible tasks, do the one that was the least impossible; the others would follow soon enough.

"That's a good idea, they'll all be worried about him," Magnus added. "I'll call Raphael – he might react better if I break him the news than if you did, no offence."

"None taken," Alec replied, whole-heartedly. "I'd rather not be on his bad side at the moment."

"If you keep doing things with the integrity and honesty you've shown me, then he'll come around one day... eventually," Magnus said, whipping out his phone out.

Very quickly, almost too suddenly, like falling into a creek, the cold shocking your skin, Alec was alone. His thoughts whirred: the Seelie Queen, potential war, Jace, this demon. The Clave, too – he couldn't forget about them, but he often did. They were a silent enemy, always watching but never moving, and it made Alec jumpy.

The message from yesterday ran around his head. He thought he'd defeated the demon and got the Clave off his back, off everyone's backs, but with this new spike of activity, Alec didn't know what to think. It had barely been twelve hours since Prague, and he knew a death would come sooner or later that would trigger a Clave investigation, no matter how much Alec followed the rules.

But they had Simon back, and that was a start.

Magnus returned to his side soon after Alec thought about the situation. "Raphael said he'll come and meet Simon outside the Institute to pick him up. He'll be hidden in the Hotel du Mort where Simon can be protected by the whole clan until everyone knows what the Seelies are up to," he reported to Alec.

"And they can keep Simon safe until we can manage to at least control this demon situation as well," Alec added. "By the Angel I don't even know where to start with that. We can't send out everyone on patrol as we'll be spread too thin, but if we don't then-"

"Hey, hey – calm down," Magnus soothed him. "You'll find the right compromise, I'm sure."

"I'd ask the Clave for extra people to go on patrols and assist in training the younger shadowhunters, but I'm worried that they'll take that for weakness and send an envoy to monitor the situation," he confided.

"Whatever happens, we'll find a way," Magnus promised. "Just as Simon managed to escape from the Queen – which is more difficult than you think, I imagine he used untapped powers as a Daylighter, although I must ask for tips for the future – we too will overcome this," he said.

Alec's smile was meek, but genuine as he took in Magnus' rambling. They would get through this, no matter what, and they'd get through it together.

 

×××

 

"I want to throw a Christmas party!" Izzy announced excitedly as Alec and Magnus gathered themselves to leave the Institute for the night. Alec had managed to suffer through most of the paperwork before Magnus had grown hungry and bored of the décor, so the two were heading back to the loft for the night. They had already escorted Simon to Raphael, who had been equal parts relieved to have Simon back and annoyed at having to be near shadowhunters – especially Alec.

"A party?" Alec asked, his lips slightly curled in a grimace. "While the world's in the state it's in?"

"That's the best reason for a party!" She exclaimed. "Come on Alec, we never get to celebrate Christmas here and I really think it'll do everyone some good to loosen up and get in the Christmas spirit," she argued, smile blinding.

Magnus, of course, didn't hesitate to back her. "I think it's a wonderful idea. Some of the best parties I've ever been to arose from tensions between people," he said.

"Oh, I bet it was all kinds of tension," Izzy implied, winking at Alec.

"Stop it, Izzy," he groaned.

Izzy just laughed at his face. "I'm just teasing Alec, no need to get so screwy with it," she said with a flick of her hair as she turned to head back to the lab, her room, wherever, somewhere that was away from him was all Alec could process as embarrassment flushed bright red up his neck and to his cheeks.

"Nothing you need to worry about Alec, it was all war-based tension," Magnus tried to assure him.

"I wasn't worried about that at all, Izzy just knows how to embarrass me," Alec explained as they headed towards the exit.

Magnus giggled. "Isabelle does have her charms, I must say. She's one of the few shadowhunters I've ever come across with such a spunky personality, apart from Clary, but I don't really count her considering she's spent most of her life as a mundane," rambled Magnus.

"What did you think of me when we first met?" Alec inquired. As much as he was trying to tease Magnus, he did sort of want to know.

"Hmm, now that is a question, Alexander," Magnus started. "First of all, drop-dead gorgeous. I never could resist tall, dark and handsome. I initially wrote you off for being a shadowhunter, a Lightwood for that matter, but after just spending those couple of hours with you I knew there was something different about you," he continued. "And here we are now."

Alec smiled at Magnus, flickers of memories surfacing. He remembered his hesitation, how desperate he was to prove to the Clave he was one of them, how badly he wanted to restore his family's name, their honour. And how free he felt kissing Magnus at the wedding. He remembered how the mere act of seeing Magnus' face, stoic and hard, ready to take what Alec would serve, had caused Alec to lose control of all his actions. There was nothing but Magnus in that moment, and Lydia's words, _it's okay, I'll be fine_ , only spurred him into action. He could barely remember the kiss – a soft, wet kiss that Magnus tells him was full of passion and intensity in such a charged room – but he remembered the way he could finally feel relief in living in his own skin.

The present day had been the closest Alec had felt in feeling constricted again. He would be ousted if he couldn't perform his duties properly. But Magnus had convinced him to take the night off after hours finishing the administrative side of his job and organising countless patrols throughout New York, as well as contacting other Institutes and Downworld leaders to update them on everything and to extend a welcome, helpful hand.

Alec was exhausted as Magnus portalled them from the front doors of the Institute to their warm loft, lights already on and a takeaway already spread across the coffee table by the couches.

Magnus immediately plopped himself down on the cushions and grabbed a soft woolen blanket to wrap around himself. Alec joined him after shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his boots. Magnus jumped a little at Alec's cold toes after wrapping himself up – burrito-style, Alec noted – nice and warmly.

The takeaway in question was Chinese. Magnus had snapped in a couple of their favourite dishes, Alec's being crispy chilli beef with spicy rice and Magnus' a large bowl of noodles, thickly sliced beef and green vegetables drowning in a brown soup, dusted with spring onions.

They cuddled closer underneath the blanket. Alec knew full well that Magnus had perfectly functioning air con, but this was much preferable. Winter days surrounding by the heat of the one you love; it made Alec's heart flutter. He quickly pressed a tender kiss to Magnus' cheek before diving into his food.

Instead, though, Magnus quickly pulled Alec in for another kiss, a proper one. He had let his glamour fade away, only feeling comfortable now that the day was over and it was just the two of them. His eyes entranced Alec every time he was shown them. He always thought Magnus' glamoured eyes had been beautiful – a deep, earthy brown that glinted against light – but his warlock mark was beyond anything Alec could describe. All he knew was that he loved everything about Magnus, and he would do everything he could to show him that. They gently unlocked from each other, and slowly returned to their food, cheeks flushed pink and hot.

"How are we going to plan a Christmas party in the middle of not only increased demon attacks, but also a potential revolt?" Alec quickly pondered aloud.

"I'm sure your sister will have thought of some of the details before coming to us about it. She has a good relationship with the downworld. And, if they see my place on the invites, they'll be sure to come along," argued Magnus.

"That's probably true. If you can hold a ceremony for Max and my mother, you can pretty much do just about anything," Alec joked.

"Who knows," Magnus started. "Maybe it might even help smooth over some ruffled feathers," he suggested. "I've been hearing rumours of some warlocks siding with the Seelie Queen after hearing about her so-called Daylighter companion. It seems that she's still using Simon's position even whilst he's not being trapped by her anymore."

"It would be nice to try and close over old wounds," Alec said, remembering Raphael's distrusting eyes. He had taken Simon with him quickly earlier that evening, not even Izzy's presence doing much to calm him down. Simon had given everyone a cheeky but wary smile, promising he'd get Raphael to come around eventually, but Alec had a suspicion Simon might annoy Raphael more.

"Maybe a Christmas party would be good," Alec finally conceded. Magnus' face lit up like a firework, ideas buzzing around his head in an instant.

"Your sister and I better get planning then."

 

×××

 

By the time he had woken up from deep slumber, feeling more energised after a few hours of sleep with Magnus than the whole week without him, Alec woke up to fourteen texts on his phone, one from Clary updating him that Jace had woken up, a number from Jace and an even more from Izzy.

A shadowhunter had been killed by the demon, along with four other Downworlders, mostly young and untrained vampires and werewolves.

And a Clave representative was on their way.

 

×××

 

Alec burst into the Institute, hair still a mess and barely having time to shower the grime of yesterday away. He had left a note explaining everything to Magnus, who had looked too peaceful to disturb with Alec's anxiety. He had taken the subway, hoping that being around mundanes would distract his thoughts and help him focus, but his timing had been completely wrong. Instead of being able to sit and take in his surroundings – any distinct conversations and the general naivety of mundanes, Alec had been forced to stand up and arch his neck underneath the corner of the carriage.

It had been rush hour. Whilst Alec could now rely on the ease of being portalled from place to place, he had forgotten how mundanes could pack themselves like sardines when the trends were right. His tall frame was pushed against the doors, and Alec often had to bend his body in strange positions to let people on and off the train before he was finally free to jump off at the station nearest the Institute.

Sharing the same space, breathing the same cramped, mirthy air had done nothing to relieve Alec's anxiety. It had only made it worse. He opened the doors, finding shadowhunters running around in chaos, the news that one of their own was dead and their Head being out of the Institute and not answering his phone doing nothing to help calm them down for the mission. They stopped their movements when they saw him, and the sudden decrease in volume made the hairs on Alec's neck stand on end.

"Keep working," he ordered. "I've heard the news. The only thing we can do is find a weakness to these demons and stop them before they can hurt anyone else."

Everyone scurried back to their duties as Alec briskly walked to Izzy's lab, where her, Jace and Clary were crowded around a bunch of computer monitors with blinking red blobs flashing against a map of the world.

"Alec! There you are!" Jace cried out. "We were wondering when you'd get here."

"It got one of the younger recruits," Clary explained, trying to get ahead of Jace. "That girl we'd tried to help before, Claire. Well, it turns out there's been a bet placed on the younger trainees as to who can get to the demon and kill it first, with high stakes."

Izzy continued for Clary. "A group of them had gone looking for the demon."

Alec turned to Jace, who still looked pale. He tried tapping into the bond, worried that Jace wasn't feeling too good still. It unnerved him that someone had been able to block their connection, and a quick rush of anxiety churned his stomach, but soon blossomed to relief when he could feel Jace's rage.

His thoughts immediately turned to the training shadowhunters. "How many went?" He asked.

"There was a group of about four of them, all with seraph blades. Those that survived the attack said the demon was able to anticipate their moves after just a few minutes, as if it was learning their attack styles," Izzy explained. "We lost one of our highest scoring kids, Kirby," she then added. "She was nice, always wanting to learn, and was even thinking of meeting up with some of the downworlders to try and get to know them more. She had been inspired by you and Magnus, and had been trying to break against tradition."

It was clear that Isabelle had been trying to learn everything about the recruits she had been training over the past couple of weeks and trying to steer them way from the Clave's prejudice. Alec knew he and Izzy, and Jace especially, would still have their own faults when it came to juggling this, but he hoped they were bettering the future generations.

"And the Clave knows, someone's being sent immediately to look over the situation," Alec noted. "What about the deaths of the downworlders, what news of them?" He inquired, his own thoughts of prejudice spurring him into action.

"Older now. And they also reported the same as the recruits. The demons were able to adapt their own attacking style to deal with the werewolves and vampires together, leaving a number of them either dead or with severe injuries," said Jace. "Alec, this is only going to get worse," he warned. His voice was still croaky from the screaming, which only served to remind Alec of how many terrible things he had to deal with.

"I know," he placated. "It seems as if the person who's created this new brand of demon is trying to escalate things further. They now have the ability to think for themselves, to learn new skills and anticipate our moves," Alec listed. "How do you fight an enemy like that?"

"Well, my guess is easy enough," Izzy piped in.

Alec's eyebrows furrowed, and then he understood. "Oh," he breathed out.

"Exactly," Izzy smiled, a semblance of hope sparkling in her eyes.

Jace looked at the both of them confusingly. "What – what is it? Is there a special weapon or something?"

"Just think about it Jace – what do we know can controls demons?" Izzy prodded at Jace.

Jace then had his own lightbulb moment.

"Oh, how could I be so stupid," he announced.

Alec took control. "We need to get permission from the Clave," he started. "The Mortal Cup might be our only option."

 

×××

 

None of them had to wait long before the Clave representative strode their way through the Institute's corridors. Instead of sending someone young, someone itching to climb up the political ladder and gain favour with the higher levels of Clave officials, they had sent someone more senior. His hair was dusted grey, lines drawn across his face to give the impression of a permanent frown.

Alec immediately stepped forward to greet him. "Alec Lightwood, Head of the New York Institute," he began. "It is a pleasure and an honour to ser-"

"Oh, enough with the formalities," he began. "My name is Edward Stoneheart, but you will only address me as Mr Stoneheart, especially in front of your colleagues," Edward ordered instantly.

Alec, wary of the precarious nature of the situation surrounding him, nodded in reply. "Of course, Mr Stoneheart."

"Now, let's get down to business, shall we," Edward began, clapping his hands together and rubbing his fingers. He walked straight past Alec, through the Ops Centre, and towards his office. "I was thinking somewhere private would be more preferable to discuss matters," he added.

Izzy and Jace, who now seemed to be doing much better, watched the scene from afar. Alec looked to them, seeing the encouragement on their faces.

It was time to face the lion's den, he mused.

 

×××

 

Edward entered Alec's office as if it were his own, and then proudly declared that it was. "I am sure you remember Aldertree's takeover not so long ago?" He reminded Alec, who continued to nod as if it were the only form of correct communication with this man. Edward reminded Alec of the stuffy Clave officials he had always dealt with growing up – always demanding respect, always wanting an echo chamber to feel validation from other shadowhunters, always this and always that. He hoped to never grow into this backwards image.

"Ah, good – this will be very similar, although I do not have the authority to take over as Head of the Institute. Rather, I am here to aid the investigation into the demonic attacks on members of this Institute and on other shadowhunters around the world," Edward explained.

"And downworlders," Alec mentioned, feeling a faint spike of fear flash through his stomach as Edward's deep, dark eyes suddenly looked at him much more sharply than before. Like a vulture. He quickly added a: "Mr Stoneheart," in an attempt to reduce whatever damage would be coming next.

In the end, all that Edward had to say on the matter was: "yes, that too is rather a problem, isn't it?"

Alec nodded again.

"Essentially, I will be over-seeing and reviewing how well this Institute can successfully solve this big problem we have," said Edward as he dumped a thick, large black briefcase on top of Alec's desk, knocking over a small pile of paperwork that Alec had organised during his brief respite from demon attacks.

"On that note," Alec interjected. "We believe we may be working towards a solution, although the theory hasn't been tested."

Edward nodded his head. Silence lingered as Edward shrugged off his black pinstripe blazer, revealing a shadowhunter's physique despite his ageing appearance. Quickly, Mr Stoneheart pulled out a pair of thin-rimmed glasses that made him look older than he really was.

"I see. And what is this theory?"

Alec swallowed before explaining what he and Izzy had worked out earlier that day.

"We believe the demons have been created with conscious thought by someone. They don't attack like normal; instead, they are able to anticipate our moves and adapt to them, retreating without a command from someone else when they're outnumbered and the odds are against them. Our weapons-master and top-pathologist Isabelle Lightwood believes that the Mortal Cup may be our only option in stopping these demons by controlling them ourselves," Alec explained. "After Valentine's death, we know the Mortal Instruments were retrieved from Lake Lyn and are being protected in Idris. Respectfully, we request the permission to use the Mortal Cup before any more harm can come."

Mr Stoneheart took off his glasses, cleaning them softly with a silk hankerchief that he kept tucked in the pocket of his suit trousers. For a second, Alec could imagine Magnus critiquing his clothes, about how nothing was fitted properly, how the monochrome colour scheme spoke volumes of how boring this man's personality was. But then Alec also remembered a conversation he had once had with Magnus about the Clave: that their ability to perform an act was above that of a conman.

Alec took Mr Stoneheart’s apparent boring appearance and old-fashioned facade to be a lie. He noted the strength in the man's arms, how his runes stood out harshly against his white, faded skin. Alec would be a fool to write this man off as his enemy.

But, an enemy of my enemy is my friend, as mundanes always said. Alec didn't know how easily it would be to get access to the Mortal Cup now that it had finally been reclaimed. The Clave wouldn't just want to hand it to a shadowhunter like Alec so readily.

"It seems we are lucky to be in possession of the Mortal Cup again now that these attacks have arisen. I'll talk to your sister about this theory just to check it's solid. The Clave can't just be handing out mortal instruments based on nothing but ideas," he explained.

"I understand, Mr Stoneheart," Alec answered. "I look forward to hearing back any news you have from the Clave," he continued, trying to keep to the format his mother always taught him when addressing Clave members. At times Alec thought it was like reading aloud an email, or a formal fire message request.

"I'm glad to see that everything is in order, Mr Lightwood. But you should know that your position is highly tenuous right now. If the Clave does not see results within the next couple of days regarding shadowhunters dying or going missing, you should expect to say goodbye to your newly granted position," Edward said.

Wait – missing? Alec said just this, earning a wry smile and an unsettling chuckle from Edward.

"Oh, you didn't know? My, my, you really haven't been attending to your messages, have you Mr Lightwood."

Alec stood there, frozen. He felt his jaw muscles tighten automatically, his fight-or-flight senses kicking in at the slightest inkling of stress.

"Shadowhunters around the world are going missing, Mr Lightwood," Edward repeated, slowly stalking closer to Alec, who had taken an unintentional step back towards the door. "Be off now. You'll hear from me soon."

And with that, Alec stepped out of his own office, shutting the door behind him.

He was screwed.

 

×××

 

Alec walked into Magnus' loft, his boots trailing and scuffing on Magnus' polished wooden floors, to find his boyfriend magicking tinsel and silver baubles around the dining room. Then, Isabelle came clattering through the corridor, glitter stars falling from her hands and onto the floor. She giggled excitedly, and bypassed Alec completely as she let herself get caught up in something she hadn't been able to do since her and Alec were young: be unabashedly, childishly happy.

Magnus noticed him once Alec had finally clicked the door shut. "Alexander, you can finally come help your sister and I get this place ready for the Christmas party!"

A bemused expression crept up Alec's face. "You're having it tonight?" He queried.

"Yes!" Magnus grinned and sent up another row of tinsel to decorate the corners between the walls and the ceiling.

"But, didn't Izzy only ask this morning?"

"Yes, silly – did you forget how great Magnus is at planning parties," Izzy exclaimed as she came sliding through the room, her heels abandoned for socks. She was as a tiny as Alec remembered, but still fierce.

And slightly tipsy.

"Are you both already drinking cocktails?" He asked, rolling his eyes as they nodded enthusiastically. "I knew it was a mistake the both of you ever meeting each other," he said dryly as the two dragged Alec into the centre of Magnus' living room, which too had been decorated ornately. Pride of place stood a tree as tall as Magnus' whole loft, it's thick fur branches dusted with fake-snow, presents sitting picturesquely below.

"Isn't it beautiful! I hope people can make it," Izzy called out, throwing another handful of stars on the floor. Alec had no idea how that added to the decor, but, as long as it made her happy and kept her out of politics, even just for another few hours or so, Alec wasn't going to complain.

Magnus, meanwhile, noticed the fall in Alec's face, the slump in his shoulders.

"Oh, don't you worry my dear, everyone and their cousin turns up to my parties," he assured her. Silently, his fingers held onto Alec's, his eyes telling Alec they would talk about whatever was keeping him down later.

Izzy's giggling roped Alec into wrapping more tinsel around banisters. Maybe he needed something like tonight, he wondered.

He kept wrapping more tinsel.

 

×××

 

Music streamed through Magnus' crowded loft peacefully, but did nothing to get rid of Alec's nerves. Magnus had wandered off whilst Alec was still getting ready to let guests in, and had since been wrapped up in conversation after conversation, some with people he hadn't seen in decades. Alec had been fine with getting ready himself – putting on a modest suit wasn't the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life – but navigating rooms full of people he didn't know was something he was less comfortable with.

Izzy too had abandoned him at some point during the reverie. She and Magnus had been drinking white russians, espresso martinis and other magical cocktails Alec didn't even know the names too since they'd started decorated, so Alec wasn't too surprised to find Izzy dancing with others in a 'disco' room Magnus had managed to create in one of the spare bedrooms, replacing the bed with a light-up floor.

And then, he felt a tap behind his shoulder. Simon.

"Alec," Simon started, his voice stuttering without his tongue even doing it. "Raphael said it was okay for me to come, I just couldn't stand being holed up in the Hotel du Mort – not that it's a bad place, I just can't stand the whole 'I never moved past my emo phase' interior design they've got going on and- I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Alec nodded his head silently.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Simon exclaimed.

Alec just rolled his eyes. "What is it, Simon," he asked.

"Nothing, really, I just hoped you'd be okay with me coming over here, in front of all these other people," Simon said, his eyes scanning over face after face nervously.

Alec then managed to work out what the vampire was so nervous about. "I don't think Magnus invited any Seelies, not with everything the Queen did," the 'to you' left out, but implied.

"Okay, that's good, um – thanks," Simon continued to ramble. "In that case, I'll go back to Maia. I'm not really into Christmas myself, I've never really celebrated it, but this seemed the perfect getaway and she hasn't stopped keeping at least one eye on me ever since I got back," he explained. "Thanks Alec!"

Sometimes Alec wondered how someone like Simon had managed to fit into their world. Clary, he understood – she was headstrong, brave, and willing to learn on the fly, even though Alec would never admit that to her face to face. But Simon, he was nervous, only in their world from following Clary his whole life. He should be dead – hell, he actually was, and yet he was still around, now for all intents and purposes a walking legend.

With that thought, Alec took a swig of his drink – something both sweet and bitter at the same time, sugar coating the rim of the glass, yellow-lemon contrasting sharply with the alcohol – and tried to let himself loose.

But he couldn't help thinking back to his conversation with Mr Stoneheart. Alec had worked so hard to finally get to where he was, was trying to make progress within the Institute, and it could all be undone if he put one foot out of place.

Magnus then suddenly slid next to him, his body moving languidly with his own. Alec smiled for him when Magnus commented: "Why do you look so glum, Alexander. It's supposed to be a Christmas party!"

"I'm just thinking," he answered.

"Thinking about what?" Magnus asked seriously, his body still leaning heavily on Alec's, the alcohol coming into full effect.

"Nothing, just, how great this is and how great you are," Alec tried. He never really was a good liar, although he did mean it when he said how great he thought Magnus was.

"I said we'll talk about whatever is bothering you later, and we will do," Magnus assured him. "But for now, I am replacing this lemon drop that you're drinking with a whiskey on the rocks," he said, clicking his fingers to instantly change the martini glass into a small, thick, cold tumbler. The whiskey was smooth, and felt more appropriate for his mood.

"I have the lemon drops for those who value sugar over liquor. You, my dear, are not one of those people," Magnus surmised, poking his finger at Alec's chest for emphasis.

Alec huffed a laugh as Magnus dragged him through to his living room, where most of the others had gathered to dance. Simon was sitting on the sofa, content just to watch his friends laugh after being kept from them for so long. Alec smiled at him when Simon spotted his staring. He smiled back before being tugged back to a conversation with Maia, who had gotten him something deep red from the bar.

Jace was draped over Clary's body, arms wrapped around her torso, a big, dopey grin spread across his face. Izzy had somehow emerged from the disco room to join him and Magnus, grabbing onto his boyfriend's arm to be spun around. Even drunk and in heels, Isabelle was still one of the most graceful people in this room.

Later on, Luke emerged from the corridor, a small grin on his face despite all he had to face over the past couple of days. He dressed modestly in a tuxedo jacket and dark shirt, Magnus lowly whispering to Alec, "a very tasteful, elegant look," as they all noticed him coming in.

And his mother was in tow, looking wonderful in a dark sequined dress.

"Luke!" Clary called out, letting Jace fall almost face first into the floor as she ran to jump on Luke, her legs kicking in the air as he spun her around.

"Careful now, pumpkin," Luke laughed as Clary hung onto him tightly. "How many of these things have you had to drink?" He remarked.

"Now, now, Lucian, I think the kids deserve a break after everything they've had to deal with," Alec's mother said, confusing Alec.

"Mother," he said. "Merry Christmas," he tried, timidly.

Christmas had been something that Alec, Izzy and Jace weren't able to celebrate. There would be presents, but they were always practical. New arrows for Alec, books on demons and runes for Isabelle, a new target board to replace the one Jace would break every year with his knife-throwing. There would be no dinner, no decorations, nothing to raise their spirits during the cold New York winters like there would be for mundanes.

So, to see his mother, dressed up in a beautiful gown, her hair done and face made-up, made a part of Alec see hope for his future, a future where shadowhunters could allow for happiness, hope, kindness and forgiveness.

"Merry Christmas, Alec," said his mother, her smile beaming. "The festivities look fantastic. I imagine Magnus put this all together," she remarked.

"Your charming daughter Isabelle did a wonderful job as my assistant," Magnus added, wrapping an arm around Alec's waist, a warm, open gesture.

"Yes, mother, I helped out lots and lots," Izzy gleefully added, her words slurred.

Maryse smiled and was guided away by Luke to the bar, a promise to see them all properly later as she left.

"I'm glad things are getting easier with her," Magnus said, taking a sip of what smelled like mulled wine.

"It's been one weight off my mind," Alec stated. "And it has been nice. I don't feel like I'm being judged so much by her anymore," he added, although the memory of Mr Stoneheart kept creeping back.

"I imagine your father will come around eventually," Magnus continued. "Sometimes these things just take time. And look," Magnus remarked, pointing a ringed finger towards the bar as Maryse sidled up next to Luke. "Maybe you've helped her to see her previous error of her ways," he suggested.

Alec felt one half of his mouth lift into a tentative smile. "I hope so," he said. Twiddling his fingers, Alec could still feel Magnus' heavy gaze and knew Magnus was wondering what was up with him. Instead, though, he gripped onto Magnus' hands, pulling him in closer. "I love you," Alec declared.

"I love you too," Magnus replied, his lips tasting like warm berries and spiced wine, the taste ghosting Alec's mouth as if he was drinking him in.

When they pulled away, Magnus twirled himself into Alec's arms, making Alec roll his eyes jokingly. His head rested on Alec's arms, face

"Will you dance with me, Alexander?"

Alec was just about to spin Magnus upright, to let his face stare straight at Magnus', share his breath and share the floor with him – even though he knew just how badly a dancer he was, especially next to Magnus – but was interrupted by a ruccus of shouts and screams.

Magnus' smile immediately turned to a frown. He spun himself out of Alec's arms.

"What's going on?" Alec inquired to a woman running in from the main corridor.

"It's the Seelies, they're here!" She cried out. "We're being attacked!"

Both Magnus and Alec, followed closely by Izzy, Jace, Clary, Maia and Simon, all of whom almost stumbled into Alec's back when he suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Meliorn," he started. "Don't do this," he begged.

"I'm sorry Alec, Magnus," Meliorn said, his Seelie staff firm in his tight grip, arrowhead pointing towards him. "I have my orders. Either the Daylighter is returned to the Seelie Queen, or everyone in our path is killed."

Maia growled behind Alec, the tell-tale cracking of her bones sharp in Alec's ears. Clary and Jace instantly wielded their blades and Izzy's whip cracked against the floor.

"I'm afraid I can't let that happen," Alec responded as Magnus magicked his bow, arrows and seraph blade to hand.

"Then so be it," Meliorn replied. His stance became tense, one foot forward, everything about his posture screaming readiness for battle. But his eyes said otherwise.

Meliorn shouted a command, and the attack began.

 

×

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Ré nao_ (热闹), Chinese: “…usually translated as "lively" or "bustling," but its true meaning goes beyond these adjectives. A place or situation that is ré nao is not only fun and lively, but also has a special vibe that makes everyone want to be there.”
> 
>  **warnings** : some general descriptions of ongoing anxiety, but no panic attacks/other more severe symptoms of anxiety are involved


	4. ya’aburnee

×

 

Red sparks instantly repelled Meliorn's staff. He fumbled, letting the tip of its sharp, pointed end scratch the wooden tiling. Tiny, glittering stars gripped its surface, remnants of the party Isabelle had been so desperately craving.

Alec knocked an arrow, but aimed for non-vital areas when aiming.

"Don't kill them," he instructed the others. "We're not after a war."

Despite her claws being out and a growl climbing up her throat, Maia managed to pull away from her full shift to drag Simon out of the room. The Seelies eyed his movements carefully, but their famed fighting style were starting to overpower a very drunk group of Shadowhunters.

Within seconds, Maryse and Luke joined the fray, Luke with his teeth bared and Alec's mother with fire in her eyes, no weapons other than the power of sheer will to see her children succeed.

Alec let his arrow fly into the foot of the Seelie warrior, pinning his thick leather boot to the floor, the arrow only a hair's breadth away from tearing skin or missing completely.

But there wasn't enough time. Alec's arrows weren't holding the crowd back for the others. They were used to his arrows stopping the enemy completely, not slowing their movements for just a few seconds. Yet, if he chose to cause physical harm, it would lead to war; Shadowhunters willingly harming Downworlders without evidence to justify their actions would break the Accords openly. He would be giving the Seelie Queen a perfect reason to start a revolution. And that was the last thing on his to-do list.

"Alec, the Seelies are skilled fighters, we can't hold them off like this!" Jace winced gruffly as a Seelie staff managed to pierce through their ranks, catching Jace's torso. Alec felt the pain briefly, and winced himself.

And then, suddenly, like time stopping, a brilliant white light caught everyone's attention. Izzy, even though still in her drunken stupor, managed to use the extra time to grasp onto Meliorn's staff with her whip, dragging it behind her. He looked to her, a deer caught in the headlights, as she quickly got another spear before the Seelies tore their eyes away from the light.

Meanwhile, Magnus stood next to Alec, his warlock mark on full display and hands shaking, taut with magic as he created the illusion in front of the Seelies. He had already used so much magic on the Christmas party that Alec was amazed Magnus had any strength left to give to create something that would entrance the Seelies so much.

Magnus only let go of the enchantment once Izzy had collected all the spears and placed them on top of one another, their wooden clattering a relief to Alec's ears.

"How did you do that?" Meliorn asked Magnus. "How could you show us that?"

"It's an old incantation, but it relies on you as well as me," Magnus explained vaguely. Alec wasn't really sure what Magnus had just done, but it had been a big enough distraction that they now held all the weapons the Seelies had brought with them to re-claim Simon.

"But it's not the spell you need to concern yourself with, Meliorn," Magnus commanded. "If the Seelie Queen wants Simon, she must come and speak to us herself, not send out soldiers or messengers as if we are at war. We are not, and we must not let it become so," he continued. "She will talk to me, Alec Lightwood, Lucian Greymark and Raphael Santiago herself about the Daylighter, or she will not be involved in this conversation at all."

Taking Magnus' word as final, and eyeing their lost weapons, the Seelies quietly backed out the front door.

"Please know, Magnus, I do not want war; I only want peace," he stated.

"Peace from diplomacy? Or peace through revolution? I know the ways in which Seelies can speak the truth, how you can twist it. I will not fall for it," Magnus iterated. "Go – tell your Queen what I have told you. She can damn well fight her battles herself."

 

×××

 

The loft was in a state of nervous tension when Alec returned to the living room. Some of Magnus' guests were shaking, unaware the danger had been averted, but Alec's presence seemed to ease some of the nerves billowing throughout the room.

Simon crept forward out from Magnus' pantry. "Maia was listening in, she said it was over," he said when people began to look at him funnily.

"Yes, it's over," Alec confirmed. "There's no need to worry anymore. And we understand if most of you would prefer to go back home," he continued, feeling Magnus' hand snake around the back of his neck in comfort.

Broken glass scraped across the floor as some guests began to slowly make their way up to stand. They crept forward, limbs moving like ghosts as they treaded through the debris, shock clinging to them. Some whimpered around the room, the sudden relief opening a vast pool of emotion. Some cried. Alec just felt the solid sensation of warmth, and used it to guide him towards the table where Simon and Maia stood behind.

“Magnus,” Simon began, his voice jittery. “I can’t thank you enough. From what Maia’s said, you were a total badass,” he exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air animatedly.

“It was nothing, really. I created an illusion of a possible future, a simple trick,” he explained. “I was amazed at how much it stunned them. It seems as if the Queen’s own soldiers think that she is leading them to inevitable war.”

“Again, we can’t thank you enough,” Simon said.

“Well,” Maia started. “We can at least help clean up, if that’s anything?”

“Oh, you won’t need to worry about that,” Magnus charmed. “My magic fixes anything,” he said. With a click, the room was spotless.

“Thank you, Magnus, but don’t drain your magic over cleaning,” Maia joked as she dragged Simon towards the exit. “Come on, I’ll take you back to Raphael’s – maybe then we can avoid a scene.”

Alec didn’t get enough time to appreciate being with Magnus alone before his phone was ringing, Mr Stoneheart’s ID flashing. Alec sighed despairingly. Magnus empathised with him. “Put him on speaker, I want to hear what he has to say,” Magnus instructed.

“Whatever you say,” he sighed before answering. “Mr Stoneheart, this is Alec Lightwood,” he began.

“Mr Lightwood,” was the reply he got. Mr Stoneheart’s voice was cold and restrained. “I need you and those attending that party at Magnus Bane’s residence to return to the Institute, immediately,” he spat before hanging up altogether.

Alec looked to Magnus, alarmed. This was not going to be good.

 

×××

 

"More Shadowhunters are going missing, Mr Lightwood, this is getting out of hand!" Mr Stoneheart screamed at him once the group were finally able to return to the Institute.

"Missing?" Jace queried. "What do you mean missing?"

"Oh, has your adoptive brother neglected to inform you, Mr Herondale?" Edward sneered. "And I suppose he hasn't told anyone else. By the Angel, how has this Institute managed to stay afloat when their own leader deliberately withholds information," he tutted.

"That's enough," Alec tried to say. He could feel Magnus' gaze heavy on his back. "I haven't had the time to-"

"Ah yes, no time – time you have been spending partying, as I seem to recall," Edward interrupted. "This is your final warning Mr Lightwood. And you are only still the Head of this Institute since the Clave have, in their wildest minds, agreed to your request to use the Mortal Cup to test your theory."

Alec was able to breathe the smallest sigh of relief before feeling Mr Stoneheart’s cloying breath close to his face.

"This had better work," he warned, before turning on his heels and returning back to Alec's office, boots thudding against the ground.

Embarrassment flushed Alec red-hot. He could barely breathe. A dressing down by the Clave in privacy was one thing; to have the whole Institute witness one was worse than Alec could ever have imagined.

But it was worse to see the looks on everyone else's faces when Alec finally mustered the strength to face them all.

"Missing?" Izzy tried, her voice soft, as if she was talking to a scared child instead of her big brother.

"I'm sorry, Isabelle, I only found out earlier this evening," he tried. Magnus' gaze was steeled, and a terrifying feeling of déjà vu dripped into Alec’s veins as they made eye-contact. A memory flashed – Magnus turning and leaving Alec behind – and only served to twist Alec’s insides cold.

"Why didn't you tell us, we would have tried to help you. If we knew you were in so much trouble, then... then we-"

"No, Jace, you don't understand," Alec stopped Jace. "You just... you don't get it!"

Finally feeling like the biggest fool, Alec turned and ran, leaving everyone else behind with the entire Institute eyeing like vultures on all the new gossip to spread.

 

×××

 

He hadn't been back to his old room in such a long time that it smelled like old dust and moth balls by the time Alec had finally managed to shut the door behind him. Even the tiniest shift in the air seemed to draw some cloud of dust from somewhere – the floor, a bookshelf, his wardrobe – until Alec perched himself onto his old bed.

It was nothing like Magnus' bed: a queen size mattress featuring sheets with a ridiculously high thread-count that made Alec feel like he was sleeping on clouds. Most importantly, however, Alec's bed didn't have Magnus. Never had he woken up in the Institute to Magnus' face sleeping soundly next to his, his broad body and soft skin keeping Alec warm and safe during the night.

The day Magnus had broken things off with him, Alec couldn't bear to sleep in this room on his own. He had snuck off to his parents' old room, not wanting to disturb Izzy or Jace that night. Instead, he had reverted to an old childhood habit of sneaking into his parents' bed, by his mother's side. Although she had scolded him for it, she had never quite let herself punish him too much, and Maryse had always let him sleep soundly next to her after a bad nightmare or after he had been told off for learning moves incorrectly in training.

Alec willed himself not to cry as he thought back to that day. This wasn't the same, he tried to reason, but a terrible voice in the back of his head was arguing otherwise.

As he tried to calm himself down, to tell himself he wasn't a bad person, a small click of the door revealed a worried-looking Magnus, who stepped inside the room cautiously. No one else followed.

"I'm sorry," Alec said, a hoarse croak betraying him. He was glad it was dark enough that Magnus couldn’t see his bloodshot eyes.

"Alec, why didn't you tell me?"

Alec looked at Magnus. "I was going to but I couldn't. When I saw you and Izzy, I just couldn't,” he tried to explain, but all the words travelling from his brain to his tongue seemed to disappear like sand caught in the wind.

"Alec, you remember what happened the last time you kept something important from me," Magnus warned him.

"Magnus, this is different!"

"How is it different?"

"Because all of you were happy – for once, I saw Izzy smile like she used to as a kid, Jace was finally able to dance with Clary and you were happy! I couldn't ruin that!"

Magnus was silenced by Alec's words. He looked taken aback. Alec didn't know what to do, so he slid back against the headboard of his bed, feeling his pillow support him as he sunk into himself. Never had Alec felt so emotionally drained and humiliated. He just wanted this all to end.

But Alec had repeated what he promised to never do again: keep things from Magnus. His mind went into a hypothetical fast-forward, showing him what would happen next. Magnus looking at him with hurt in those cat-eyes he loved so much. Magnus telling him he was tired of Alec doing this again despite having gone through the consequences of it once. But it was the last one that stung his heart – Magnus walking away from him again.

But none of that happened  because instead of turning around and leaving, the warlock walked over to Alec's bed and perched himself by Alec's feet.

"Do I have to remind ourselves again of a phrase we should know off by heart?" Magnus murmured.

Alec wiped his nose as he snorted at the memory. "I remember," he croaked.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"You said we'd talk about what was bothering me later, and I was planning on telling you then," Alec explained. He twiddled his fingers together, chest heaving. "I just- I couldn't let you guys be burdened with having to look out for me and my career in favour of a wonderful night," he continued. "It didn't feel right."

Magnus breathed out heavily. "It would be me to come across one of the most selfless, loyal Shadowhunters that ever existed, wouldn't it?" he asked rhetorically.

Alec laughed at the incredulous statement. "I think you might be confusing me with someone else," he deflected. “I’m not exactly being very loyal to the Clave right now,” he mused.

"Screw the Clave. I certainly don't see anyone else willing to hide their identity to restore their family," Magnus suggested. "Or give up their time to help their sister recover from an addiction, to help their boyfriend recover from a trauma?"

Alec shook his head. "Oh stop! I get your point," he said, blushing. "I only learnt it from the very best," Alec grinned, looking pointedly at Magnus.

"Don't you start," Magnus teased. "I know just how special I am."

A sudden wave of love and relief washed over Alec. He acknowledged it by leaning onto his hands and kissing Magnus gently, eyes fluttering at the touch. "I'm so lucky to have you," he breathed.

Magnus licked his lips and placed his palm over Alec's knuckles.

"Oh, my love – it's me who's the lucky one."

 

×××

 

Laying in Magnus' arms was the equivalent to breathing. Alec could feel the rise and fall of the warlock’s chest, the solid beat of his heart as he lay on his bed, his body held together by strong arms. Magnus occasionally peppered his head with kisses. It had barely been a few minutes since they were able to hold each other like this before a flash of pain flared on Alec's torso, before disappearing altogether in a second. He winced, air escaping his lungs as if it'd been sucked out, and Magnus immediately went on the defence.

"Alec, are you okay?"

"It's Jace," Alec breathed. "I can't feel his rune again."

It was as if some part of Alec's brain – a higher part – took control. In an instant, like a lightning bolt, he was up off the bed, boots tracking towards the door and out into the corridor. He knew his breathing was chaotic – he could hear Magnus' worried voice call out to him – but the rune had gone.

It had gone _again_ and Alec knew Jace would be having another fit.

"Alec!" He heard Isabelle shout as they both neared Jace's bedroom. "Quick, he's in here!"

Alec and Magnus dashed in, a feeling of déjà vu infecting the scene as Jace lay in Clary's arms, screaming and clutching his stomach in pain, again.

"Why is this happening?" Alec begged. "And why can't I feel him when he has these fits?"

Magnus, sensing Alec's panic, tended to Jace in an instant. Alec knew that Magnus' magic wouldn't provide Jace with any relief, but it still calmed something in him down knowing that Magnus was there, using his magic.

"We may have to call Catarina about this, or get a Silent Brother to examine the bond," Magnus said. "I can't detect any changes in rune magic, it's different from a warlock's," he explained.

"Alec," Izzy started. "Is there any way you can try to reach Jace through the bond, try to at least ease his pain?" she suggested.

Clary looked at all of them with eyes full of anguish, tear tracks staining her cheeks. And this time, Alec was _sure_ she wasn’t telling them something. But yet again, circumstances forced him to push that confrontation aside in view of more important things at the moment.

"Um, I don't know – I can try, but it's like we're being blocked from each other," he tried to explain.

Magnus nodded at him. "You can do this, Alexander. I know you can."

Alec breathed in, and tried to focus on memories – good memories – of Jace.

He thought about how different he felt compared to just a couple of months ago. He believed himself to be in love with Jace so much, but in reality, he had been confused. Jace was one of the few boys who were nice to him, who trained with him, who wanted to be his friend. And when he became family, Alec thought that Jace was the only person he could be allowed to love.

And then he met Magnus, and his world was changed. He could be himself and love who he wanted to, openly and honestly.

So, when he thought of Jace, he didn't think of him with aching longing, a sadness that had consumed him for far too long. Instead, he remembered their training, the parabatai ceremony, his first battle against a demon after their bond had been cemented and the rush of adrenaline that had coursed through them both. He tried to channel that feeling of golden togetherness that had been lost and replaced by this black nothingness.

A shroud of something warm and glowing soothed him as he retrieved his stele from his pocket and began to trace the rune on his now clear skin, trying to activate it in some way. The first licks of pain were doused by Magnus' magic.

He searched his mind, trying to find a path that would lead to Jace. He had never looked so deep into their bond before, not since he tried to find Jace after he'd ran off with Clary and the Seelies. But that had been different. Their bond, although damaged at the time, hadn't been absent completely. It was like searching through fog, hands grappling at nothing but air every time he thought he saw a glimmer of _something_.

Frustration and doubts began to trickle into his thoughts like a crack in a dam. The pain from his search was starting to overpower Magnus' magical balm, so he thought harder. The first time he beat Jace at archery. The first time he got to train with Jace and Izzy together. How much Jace gripped onto Alec after he almost died. The relief when he found Jace, alive, at Lake Lyn.

Red. Darkness. Heat, _searing_ heat, suddenly filtered through, breaking the dam inside his head. He screamed something high and tight, the pain crashing through his veins. Just for a second, he thought he heard whispering, words slipping out of tongues so very, very lightly they almost faded away completely through the veil of red and screaming and pain. But Alec heard them. He heard them, low voices, one a woman's and unrecognisable, the other a man's so painfully familiar it made Alec's brain burst.

He opened his eyes, sliding the stele away from his skin. Magnus was up in his face, his lips moving but Alec's ears weren't picking up any sound. He could still hear the echoes of the pathway.

"Alec!" Magnus shouted, breaking through the barrier. Alec snapped his eyes shut, sweat dripping from his brow onto his eyelashes as he gathered himself. Jace had stopped screaming too, and was lying unconscious in Clary's lap.

"What happened, why didn't you stop when the pain got too much?" Izzy asked, bringing her brother in for a gentle hug. She tugged at his sweaty hair, patting it down and then smoothing it over. Their mother used to do that same gesture after nightmares when they were children.

"It was overpowering, like I burst through a wall that had been built up," he tried to explain. "I couldn't make out a whole lot."

"It's okay, Alec, magic in itself can be quite an abstract concept to explain, even for trained warlocks like myself," he assured.

Alec smiled in thanks. "There was a lot of red. And not bright red, either – more like a deep, scarlet red. Like a sunset. And I felt hot, too hot, as if I was burning from the inside out.

"But the thing that most stood out to me was the whispering, this constant muttering. And I felt like I recognised one of the voices," he said.

Magnus leaned in, hands resting on Alec's knees. "Who was it?"

Alec tried to remember, but the words were already slipping from his brain, like he was trying to hold water. He groaned frustratingly, but Izzy shushed him softly, encouraging him to think.

"Just try and remember, Alec. Did you see anything that could give them away?" she tried.

"I'm trying, it's hard, it's..." he trailed off helplessly.

Magnus' eyes perked as Alec's brain suddenly remembered.

A mop of golden hair, dark eyes, voice low and humming, charming even now he knew how dangerous this man could be.

"It's Jonathan. He's still alive."

 

×××

 

Clary worried her lips as she watched over Jace. It looked like she hadn't slept a wink over the past two days. Alec could relate. She smoothed Jace's hair back with a damp flannel, even though the fits had long since passed and Jace's skin had restored itself to glowing peachy pink.

"Alec," she started, voice cracking from exhaustion. "There's something you should know about the first time you couldn't feel Jace, that night at Lake Lyn."

Alec had sat down on the chair facing opposite Clary. After Magnus and Izzy had checked him over, fretting that he hadn't been getting enough sleep to be performing such heavy-duty rune magic, Alec had allowed himself to watch over Jace before letting himself be taken home by Magnus to sleep. He had to know Jace was okay, even though the void of the rune had disappeared and returned to normal. If Alec probed enough, he could see that the rune was emitting a sense of calm, something Jace only ever felt during sleep.

So, when Clary made this announcement, Alec's drowsy eyes immediately flew open, his body now wide awake. This was it.

"You were right that night. Valentine had already set in motion a wish to be granted by the Angel and I was so upset that I couldn't _not_ use it," she said. Her voice wobbled and she sniffed at the dark memory. "Valentine had stabbed Jace, right there," she said as she pointed her finger over Jace's chest, letting it hover shakily over his heart. "And he died. He died right in front of me and I couldn't face a world without him in it, not after what happened to my mom."

Alec followed the story, eyes glancing over his parabatai. "You used the wish from the Angel Raziel to bring him back," he completed for her.

"I know, you don't have to tell me," she said quickly. "It was stupid, selfish."

Alec shook his head. "It's okay, you don't have to explain it to me."

Clary wiped her cheeks clean, wetness clinging to the sleeve of her shirt as she pulled away. "Jace said there would be consequences, and he was right. After I tried to bring my mom back, Jace warned me about this, the risks of bringing someone back from the dead," she continued. "That a person might not come back the same."

"You think the Angel didn't bring Jace back in the right way?" he asked.

"It has to be!" she exclaimed.

"But what I saw, earlier when I tried to connect with Jace – I can't dismiss that either. It's very rare that the Angel makes mistakes as big as this; the reasons other forms of magic are so risky is because they don't have the power or the ability to maintain balance in the way the Angels can," he tried to explain.

"Well, then how could Jonathan be doing this? He wasn't there when Jace was brought back, and he couldn't have done anything to the bond, he never even bothered with you that much," Clary reasoned. "How could he have that power?"

Alec nodded, giving Jace and Clary one last look before rising to stand, his time up.

"That's what we're going to find out," he said.

 

×××

 

Alec found Izzy and Magnus sitting by one of the Institute's computers with Luke, Simon, Maia and Raphael hovering their heads over the monitor as they analysed something over.

"We may have found a lead," Izzy announced, and if that wasn't the best news Alec had heard all day, he didn’t know what was.

"What is it?"

Magnus flicked a few screens up on the computer monitor. "The only being that could have such a high level of power to create and control demons is a Greater Demon – more specifically, Lilith." He hands an enhanced image taken from what looked like an old Institute manuscript.

"Lilith, the Lady of Edom, mother of all demons and Adam’s first wife was cast down from Heaven by God because she had disobeyed him," he read. "As part of her punishment, she was no longer able to give birth; as revenge, Lilith fashioned new ways to sire demons using the blood of all creatures, which led to the creation of warlocks," he continued, a brief, uncontrollable glance falling over Magnus. "It is said she will continue these experiments until humanity no longer exists."

"So, she basically wants to take over the world," Simon offered.

"No, she's far more complicated than that," Magnus said. "Greater Demons crave power and chaos, they thrive on destruction. It's more than just world domination."

"And we think this means she's been able to create this new demonic species, and has finally perfected the ability for them to learn and adapt to situations as humans are able to," Izzy explained.

A chill crawled over Alec. “The missing Shadowhunters...”

That's what we're worried about," Luke said. "If she's able to use blood in the way Magnus is implying, she could be amassing demons with angel blood that could walk straight through all of the protective wards that are in place in all the Institutes around the world."

"And it's not just Shadowhunters that are going missing, Alec," Raphael said. "I have clans around the world reporting members disappearing off of the face of the earth. Isabelle checked these reports with your demon scans; their disappearance and demonic activity in those areas correlate," he finished glumly.

"Wolves and Seelies are going missing, too," Maia perked up. "I hear an awful lot of gossip at the Hunter's Moon. Apparently, the Seelie Queen has been going stir crazy over the fact that she's been losing a few soldiers to nothing but the air every time they come to this realm to search for Simon."

"It seems like the Clave has been biasing its searches again," Raphael sneered, and Alec knew an apology would both mean nothing to Raphael and would be hollow if not coming from an official Clave member. So, he left Raphael's sentence hanging in the air.

"Why would she want the use the blood of all Downworlders as well as Shadowhunters?" Alec asked.

"Our working theory is that she wants them to be able to get through all the wards in all factions, not just Shadowhunters."

"We think she's gone crazy and all purist," Simon said. "Seeing as Downworlders have demon blood, and since she actually created warlocks in the first place, she must have gone crazy stuck in the Void and wanted to breed something new and mostly demon blooded, not just mixed with angel or human blood."

Alec shook his head. "There has to be something more, it doesn't feel right," he said, something in the back of his mind screaming unspoken words, a truth he saw but cannot reach.

"How would Jonathan be involved?" Alec asked. "I heard more than one voice, and the other sounded like a woman's, although I can't be too sure," he recalled. "He might be working with Lilith."

"That makes sense. If Valentine experimented on Jonathan with demon blood, then Lilith might value him as one of her own," Izzy concluded.

"But then how could they affect the parabatai bond?" Alec asked. "The more I try and think about it the more I get confused," he confessed.

"Maybe there's something in Valentine's journals," Izzy suggested. "What if they have some sort of connection themselves, one that neither Jace nor Jonathan knew of, but that Lilith could detect?"

Magnus nodded his head. "You might be onto something Isabelle," he commented.

"I can help scope out these journals for you!" Simon offered excitedly. Alec thought back to his conversation at the party with the vampire before the Seelies had turned up, and agreed to let him come on board.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed, earning a pair of rolling eyes from Maia.

"Will he be in good hands?" Maia asked.

"He will be with us," Izzy promised.

Maia swallowed, then smiled at Simon. "If wolves are going missing, I need to be with everyone to protect them. You outsmarted the Seelie Queen, so I'm sure I can let you off my leash for at least one night," she teased.

"Thank you for being my protector and official hider from the Seelies," Simon joked with her.

"Maia will be with me for the night," Luke said.

Raphael then stepped in. "I'll be with my clan. It's times like these that we need to look out for one another, make sure no one else goes missing," he said.

Alec offered a hand out to him, his hopes hovering in mid-air as Raphael eyed up the gesture. Alec could see Raphael look at Izzy, who must have given him a positive impression, as he stepped forward to shake Alec's hand firmly, cold but strong.

"Good luck," Alec said, levelling Raphael's gaze.

"I don't think it's me who needs the luck," he remarked. He stepped back, making his way towards the door. "Your plan with the Mortal Cup better work, and I want to be there when it does," he said.

"I'll let you, Luke and Magnus all know when the mission is supposed to start," he promised. "You have my word."

Raphael left not long after, with Luke and Maia following suit.

"Well," Izzy announced. "Looks like it's back to school for us. Let's go read!"

 

×××

 

"You know in like, math class, when you're given so much information that you don't know what to do with it and it gives you the biggest headache?" said Simon. He may as well have been shouting at how sensitive Alec's brain had become over the past few hours. "It's like I'm having to solve some difficult equation and my brain literally doesn't know how to do it anymore! The letters mean nothing to me!" he announced, slamming a book shut. The sound woke Izzy up, who had been napping without Alec or Simon even noticing.

"Wha-wait, did someone find something?" Izzy asked slowly, rubbing her eyes.

They'd each been reading for what felt like a lifetime. Valentine seemed to have kept an extensive record of everything he did with Jace and Jonathan right from what they ate for breakfast to the tactics he used to train their fighting skills. And Valentine, for all his ferocity and extremism, wasn't exactly gifted with creative writing skills.

Everything was dry, boring, and methodical. He treated the two as if they were nothing more than lab rats, only getting excited at successful results, and detailing his disappointment at failures.

But everything Alec had read was everything Jace had already told him. The falcon story. The training, the routines he had grown up on. There was nothing new, nothing that he had found at least anyway, and he had read through the timeline where Jace would have been five to ten years old. What made everything worse was the fact that Magnus had left to go get coffee, saying he needed the fresh New York air before he could delve into Valentine’s reading. Alec could understand, but he wished his boyfriend were here because if anyone could make analytical and intensive reading an enjoyable task, it was Magnus.

Izzy had been reading through the same timeline for Jonathan, although she had had to stop when Valentine started to detail the time he tried to kill Jonathan using the pentagram.

"That must be why he's working with Lilith. She must have practically raised him after Valentine sent him away," she had said at the time.

That was the only new revelation they had gotten to after four hours of reading on very little sleep. A hangover had started to creep up on Izzy, and Alec could tell her distracted concentration was frustrating her.

Simon seemed to be the only one coping with the reading, until he announced his headache to the group.

"Well, try and break it down if it's causing you such a bad headache?" Izzy suggested, before cracking out a big yawn that only served to spread around the room like a communicable infection, tiring them all.

"Hmm," Simon pondered. "That might not be a bad idea."

His vampire speed abound, Simon jumped out of his chair and started examining the Institute library. "Is there some sort of whiteboard or big sketchbook I can use?" he enquired.

Alec shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure – there's a store cupboard in the corner over there that might have something?"

Simon's question only reminded Alec of how poorly he'd been running the Institute if he couldn't remember if their own library kept _whiteboards_.

"Found one!" Simon shouted. It was a small relief, Alec supposed.

"Okay, so," Simon started. "I've been reading through the journals that talk about Jace and Jonathan growing up from before they were born until they were, like, three years old?” he guessed. "There were a lot of science-y terms that I didn't get, stuff way above the sci-fi I've read, but it seemed like Valentine was giving them all sorts of injections, Jace's mainly to do with angel blood, and Jonathan's to do with demon blood!" he said, jotting their two names on each half of the board.

"But, Valentine had all these counter measures to try and stop anything else from confounding his results! He wasn't just giving them injections and watching for any changes, he genuinely believed they would have effects on their abilities – look, here, in Jace's book a week before he was born, he says, 'the angel blood will give Jace untold abilities, but some of which I believe will be increased strength, greater rune ability and greater connections with the angels'."

"So, Valentine planned on Jace having these angelic powers and Jonathan the demonic powers," Alec yawned. "But why?"

"That's what I couldn't figure out. Valentine rambled, like a lot, maybe even more than me whenever he was talking about something he was passionate about, and this project was one of them," he reasoned. "So, a lot of it didn't make sense to me, it was all jumbled, but there _was_ a reason for Jace and Jonathan having these different powers!"

"What was it?" Izzy asked.

Simon clicked his fingers excitedly and began writing down on the whiteboard, listing all the powers Valentine thought Jace and Jonathan would grow up to have. "See," he started again, all traces of sleep now non-existent. "Jace would grow up with these angelic powers, but Jonathan would balance him out and be connected to the demon world. In his ramblings, Valentine talks about – oh, what was it? – oh, yeah! He wanted Jace and Jonathan to connect with the greater being or those with higher powers on the sides of the angels and demons, to feed both of them information, with Jonathan intended to bring about the destruction of all demons."

"So, it wasn't just about having power?" Alec inferred. "He wanted an in with the demons to... corrupt them?"

"Well, more like manipulate," Simon interjected. "And it failed. He couldn't control Jonathan anymore; he was growing too connected to his demonic side, feeling the call of the greater demons who knew of his existence," said Simon.

"How does this all link to our parabatai bond, then?" Alec finally asked.

"Oh, I was just coming to that!" Simon exclaimed. "You see, Valentine knew that Jace and Jonathan would balance each other out, and that was what he needed to work with nature. So, he created a connection in their blood that could one day be accessed for anything like blood rituals, rune magic, stuff like that," he explained.

"Blood connection? We can only be connected through runes," Izzy argued.

"That's why it took me so long to figure it out. Valentine was just experimenting with this, he didn't know if it would actually work. I think he used some powerful magic to create this connection, and because they were born with it, it didn't seem to manifest. He thought this part was another failure."

"But it looks like it wasn't. It was just a late-blooming characteristic," Alec finished. "And let me guess: this type of connection outshines a parabatai bond."

Simon nodded. "Yep, basically."

“And Jonathan and Lilith are using this blood connection to try and communicate with Jace? Make him feel all this pain? For what?” Izzy pondered.

“I think that’s the next thing we need to figure out,” Alec sighed, eyelids weighing down heavily with tiredness.

 

×××

 

When Alec woke up, he found his cheek lying on the table, papers stuck to the side of face from the pure pressure of being laid down on for so long. The wooden table smelled of dust and varnish. There was a hand immediately on his back, stroking soothing circles along his spine.

"It's okay, Alexander," Magnus murmured, his voice low. "You fell asleep; we didn't want to disturb you," he said.

Alec clicked his back, feeling stiff from the position he'd been sleeping in. "How long was I out?"

"Long enough that the coffee I went to fetch has gone completely cold," he laughed.

Over in the far side of the corner of the room, mini travel cots had been set up for Izzy and Simon, who lay sleeping, soft snores emanating from the two of them. A book lay haphazardly on the floor below a hanging hand from Simon.

"Did you guys figure out anything while I was out?" Alec asked. He yawned again, and rubbed his hands through his hair to try and wake himself up a bit more.

"Not yet, those two crashed before I could find out anything myself," Magnus replied.

"I'm not sure I'll be much help, even with coffee," Alec drawled, another yawn forcing its way out of his mouth.

"I thought as much," Magnus said as helped Alec off the stiff chair. "You need sleep, that's why I magicked in the cots for those two bookworms over there."

Alec snorted at the pet name. Izzy had hated being called a bookworm, always wanting to be named something fierce, like the demon destroyer, as a younger kid. Alec had adopted the nickname as his own for a little while to keep her happy, even though he was never reading as much as she did. He thought that Izzy might not mind the nickname quite so much, now that she was older, and it would be coming from Magnus instead of her annoying older brother.

"Why didn't you magic the coffee in? We could have used your help earlier," Alec asked as he stood up, stretching his arms.

"I had to go and update everyone in the warlock community about what was happening. There have also been reports of warlocks going missing too; and not just kids who weren't able to fully control their powers, these were powerful warlocks," he said, sorrow in his voice. "You remember that warlock I was on the phone to, the one looking for the fowl talons?"

Alec nodded, remembering Magnus' impatience to hang up on him so he could talk to Alec. For some reason, the Shadowhunter felt guilty now, wishing he hadn’t interrupted them.

"He disappeared just a few hours ago around areas where mundanes reported seeing black shapes and heard the sounds of crashing and screaming. They had called the police, thinking there was a murder or something going on."

"Magnus..." Alec trailed.

"In a way, he had been right. The world is looking like it's nearing an end if we can't contain these demons and stop Lilith from destroying everything..."

"Magnus," Alec exclaimed, bursting Magnus' panic. "The Mortal Cup should be with us by the morning. Then, we can see if our theory is right, that we can control them with it and finally stop this madness," Alec tried to assure him, his eyes stinging with tiredness. His bed was calling him.

"I knew there was a reason I liked to listen to your advice," Magnus complimented. "And my advice is that we settle down in that musty Institute bed of yours, and get some shut eye," he continued.

"We'll be useless to Izzy and Simon if we don't get some rest," Alec agreed.

"Almost as useless if we don't find some... extra stress relief," Magnus teased, holding Alec's waist just a little tighter.

He was so tempted to let Magnus touch him more, feel the warmth of his hands stroke over his skin as he slipped them underneath Alec's shirt, but he literally felt like he would fall unconscious at the mere sight of a pillow.

But, then again, he never really could quite resist Magnus.

 

×××

 

Waking up in his bed with Magnus planted firmly along his side was officially Alec's favourite way of waking up in the Institute, he had decided. Not alone, not with his head resting awkwardly on a desk, not having to contort his body in strange positions to fit on his office couch.

Instead, Magnus was clinging to him, even in sleep. At some point during the night, Magnus had decided to wrap his arms around Alec's chest, keeping Alec in one place, the skin-on-skin contact warming them despite the terrible heating in Alec's room.

It didn't seem to matter where Alec was, or what conditions he was faced with, because as long as Magnus was there everything would be alright. He didn't need a huge, queen-sized bed, sheets with a ridiculous thread count, or made from Egyptian cotton, and no special feathers to plump his pillows and duvets to help get him a better night's sleep. All he needed was Magnus – his smile, his kisses, his arms and very warm body.

Magnus nuzzled his neck, peppering Alec's clavicle with kisses that tickled him and made him squirm involuntarily.

"Even when I'm practically on the verge of passing out, you still provide the best stress relief," Alec teased as Magnus continued his exploration.

"It's a two-way thing," Magnus replied, voice heavy and low with sleep.

Alec pulled Magnus closer, shifting his body until he was lying on his side, facing Magnus. His glamour had been lowered, cat's eyes looking back at him curiously and lovingly. Alec leaned in, smiling, and kissed Magnus, wholly and tenderly. He felt far more awake – far more _alive_ – and less stressed, and he thanked Magnus by kissing him gently under the morning glow of the sun that had washed the room in gold.

"I don't think I've ever woken up in the Institute like this before," Magnus commented after Alec had pulled away, and they set up to cuddle quietly on the bed before the day hit them.

"Elaborate on the 'like this'?" Alec asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, there was one time, decades ago, that this Institute would sometimes hold events for Downworlders and Shadowhunters to mingle. We hated those evenings with a passion, so Raphael and I would always aim to get drunk before attending.

"And one time, I had gotten so wasted that I ended up waking on one of those cold metal cadaver tables that your sister now loves to so eagerly use. Apparently, my drunken self had thought it would make an excellent bed instead of portaling myself home," he narrated, chuckling every now and then at the memory.

"That sounds very strange," Alec commented as he nuzzled his nose into Magnus' hair as Magnus tucked himself under Alec's neck again. "I still don't know what it's like to forget your own memories by getting drunk," he added.

He felt Magnus’ head shake, his still-gelled hair tickling Alec's nose.

"Trust me, darling. Count yourself lucky that you haven't lost control over your own actions. The stories I've woken up to have been worse than humiliating."

Alec chuckled at the thought of Magnus staggering around, maybe even dancing wildly without even remembering. Alec had never seen Magnus get so drunk to that point and, at his laughing, Magnus whacked him lightly on the arm.

"I know exactly what you're thinking, Alexander," he teased. "And the only time you'll see me get hammered is the day you know something very bad has happened," he said, going stiff as those last words slipped out from his tongue.

Alec very quickly sobered. "Do you drink to forget, then, sometimes?" he asked, curious.

"Yes, sometimes," Magnus replied. "But I've been working on that part of me for a very long time. It took me a good number of decades to control myself, but I'm in a much better place than I was a hundred years ago."

Alec pulled Magnus in just a little bit closer. "I'm glad you are," he said, gently pressing his lips to Magnus' head. "And I hope that if something bad does happen to you in the future, that you know you can come to me with anything," he continued. "I know I've made some mistakes recently, but I want you to feel like you can come to me."

"And I the same for you. Which reminds me..." Magnus started. "You'll be able to prove this Clave member, Edward Stoneheart, that you're the best leader for the New York Institute, because you _are_ the best leader for the New York Institute."

Alec was grateful that Magnus couldn't see his face as a blush crept up his cheeks.

"You're progressive, and you're learning how you can be _more_ progressive. You challenge aged and conventional beliefs, but the people here respect you. They listen to you and make sure they do their duties efficiently. That is exactly what is needed in a leader," Magnus argued.

"I get your point, even if it is a bit cheesy," Alec said. "I only changed because of you. Imagine what I'd be like if you hadn't crashed my supposed wedding that day," he joked.

Magnus made a disgusted sound. "You'd have been a miserable, stuffy Shadowhunter," Magnus imagined. "So, I am very glad at the impact I seem to have had on your life."

Alec gazed into Magnus’ eyes, a sudden feeling of warmth washing over him. He imagined a life without Magnus for one brief second, and a shot of pain panged through his heart and it shook something in Alec’s head. “I love you,” he whispered into the almost non-existent air between them, like it was a secret he only wanted the warlock to hear, and decided in that split second that he would do whatever it took to keep Magnus safe.

“I love you, too,” Magnus replied, leaning in to kiss Alec.

The two enjoyed their moment of respite before a firm knock was rapped against Alec's door.

"Who is it?"

"It's the Clave," someone called through the door – it sounded like Raj's voice, muffled behind Alec's thick wooden door. "They're here with the Mortal Cup whenever you're ready, Alec," he said before his footsteps grew silent.

Alec wanted nothing more than to snuggle closer to his lover and go back to sleep, but he knew that that might just as well be the mistake that would cost him his leadership. So he sat up, back straight and narrow and as taut as his bow.

"You ready for this?" Magnus checked.

Alec answered honestly. "As ready as I'll ever be."

 

×××

 

Jace staggered into the Ops Centre, Clary hovering a couple of steps back. "I'm coming with you," he announced like a man on a futile mission.

Alec shook his head instantly. "No, Jace, you can hardly stand."

"Alec, I'm coming with you!"

"Jace, these demons are powerful. If something goes wrong, you'll barely be able to defend yourself," he tried, praying Reason would choose his side. "You can't do anything until the Silent Brothers get here and find out what's wrong with you."

Jace scrunched his fists and furrowed his brow in annoyance. "If what you, Izzy and Simon found is true, then we need to destroy these things and that means having as many people there to fight as possible!"

"Jace!" Clary called out. "You need to listen to Alec. You couldn't walk up the stairs without me holding you up," she countered, arms crossed and looking unimpressed.

The way Jace was carrying himself made Alec think he would explode with frustration at any second.

"Come on, Alec, when have I ever let you down?" he pleaded.

Alec cocked an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that question honestly?"

After thinking about it for a second, Jace tracked back: "Okay, fair enough, but you can't deny that we always feel slightly out of sync when having to fight on our own," he fired back, but without venom.

Alec tried to ignore Jace's eyes, which always had a way of getting exactly what Jace wanted from Alec. He carefully checked over his equipment – that the string was fitted correctly, that none of his arrows were broken, that his seraph blade was properly runed – but he could still feel Jace's heavy gaze.

"Please, Alec," Jace begged.

"Why do you want to come so badly? Not only is this mission extremely dangerous, but there's also half a dozen Clave-trained soldiers here to guard the Mortal Cup and make sure none of us come to any harm."

His brother sighed, but Clary took over. "Tell him what you told me, Jace," she suggested, nodding her head slowly to give Jace permission.

Alec looked at Jace, letting him speak. "If it is true that Jonathan and I might have a blood connection, then we need to destroy these demons as soon as possible. But he might also be wanting to get to me," Jace started. "If you, Izzy and Magnus, along with highly trained soldiers, as you said, are going away from the Institute, he could attack the Institute and get to me, and none of you would be here to protect me," he said. "So, really, the safest place for me could be out with you, on the field," he finished.

Alec considered Jace's words for a moment. It was true that they could have a connection. He didn't doubt the skill of the Shadowhunters who would be staying behind at the Institute – but he also remembered how easily Jonathan had been able to effortlessly slip through their forces, like a hot knife cutting into butter.

"Okay," he conceded. "You might have a point there."

The relief on Jace's face translated through their parabatai rune. "You have no idea how thankful I am right now, Alec," he breathed out.

"Well, I kinda do," he joked, poking his torso. "But you're only going on some conditions."

"I wouldn't have expected any less," Jace replied.

"You stay with Magnus," he said. "The Clave soldiers will be busy guarding the Mortal Cup, I don't want this to get in their way too much, and you stay away from any physical exertion – so no battling demons if it gets too crazy," he instructed, although he had a feeling Jace would ignore that second point. "And if you feel like Jonathan might be trying to get through to you, you get Magnus to portal you straight out of there."

"I promise," Jace said. "I'll do exactly as you say!" he exclaimed, practically jumping onto Clary. "You won't regret this!"

As much as it warmed Alec to see his brother, his parabatai, so happy – to feel that happiness emanating through the bond – he couldn't help but feel nerves creep up his stomach, infecting his body. He had just given himself another problem to deal with, another problem for Magnus to have to navigate. A tiny voice in the back of his mind wondered if the continued attacks from Jonathan had affected Jace more than Alec realised, but Alec dismissed the thought as quickly as it had appeared; he would _know_ if Jace was being influenced by Jonathan. That was the whole point of the bond.

He double checked his bow and arrows, and sheathed his seraph blade. Magnus, Izzy and the Clave soldiers would be waiting for him in the Ops Centre.

It was now or never.

 

×××

 

The nerves sitting in Alec's stomach only threatened nausea even more once he stepped through Magnus' portal and into Central Park. Everyone else, including a few more Shadowhunters trained specially to guard the Mortal Instruments, plus Luke and Raphael, followed behind him. The Cup was heavy in his hand, it's glow making his skin seem incredibly fragile, almost porcelain.

Magnus looked to him, his eyes showing nothing but determination and belief. "You can do this, Alexander."

Alec nodded before letting his gaze settle on the dark trees surrounding them all.

The portal was closed with a _whoosh_ , and silence fell. Clary stood next to Alec, her seraph blade ready. Alec still felt weird at him being the one to use the Cup, seeing as Clary had already successfully wielded it, even without any knowledge or guidance on how to use it.

Distant growls and shrieks knocked Alec out from his thoughts. Clary smiled at him, lifting her head up, a gesture for Alec to raise the Cup above his head. He did so – feeling a little stupid at the stance – and kept thinking, kept trying to believe he had control.

Slowly, a hoard of demons crept out from the shadows. They hissed before bearing their sharp, blackened teeth, roaring with a high-pitched shriek that pierced through Alec's ear drums. Beside him, Clary moved one hand up to cover her ear; he stood firm.

 _You will stop_ , Alec thought to himself. _You will obey me_.

The demons went quiet, but kept stalking. The hand holding the Mortal Cup started to grow numb in the winter air.

"Alec, do you think it's doing anything?" Jace whispered behind him.

Alec shook his head, ungrateful for the distraction. "I'm not sure," he revealed, honestly.

"They're not attacking us, that's a start," he suggested.

The weight of the Cup suddenly made Alec's hand start to shake, his endurance running low. He needed to get this done, now.

 _You will all stand before me_ , he commanded silently. The demons stood in the background, looking to each other, as if for assurance or encouragement. It made something in Alec grew cold.

Nevertheless, he persisted. _You will all form a group in front of me, and you will not move_.

As if reading his mind, or as if their plan was actually working, thank the Angel, the demons started to congregate in front of Alec. There was only five of them, and their small body size made Alec realise just how vulnerable their design would be if they didn't have adaptability and consciousness to learn from their environment.

 _You will not move_ , he commanded again. He motioned his head to the side, the signal for the others to move and surround the demons. Alec's heart pumped furiously as the others spread out into a circle, trapping the demons. They wielded their seraph blades as they tiptoed around the demons, who were quietly growling and humming to themselves.

 _You will not move_ , Alec repeated once more, almost like a chant. He could feel Mr Stoneheart’s sharp eyes on him.

After a few seconds, Jace silently mouthed a one, two, three, before lifting his seraph blade above the head of a demon. The others copied, blades pointed downwards.

 _You will not move_ , Alec thought again.

Jace thrust his blade down, but was too slow. Alec felt something grapple at his mind, severing the connection between his thoughts and the Mortal Cup, as if someone was trying to burn his brain out. The demons moved, jaws snapping viciously, their howling doubling Alec's pain.

He collapsed, and saw Jace do the same in the corner of his eyes. Alec's vision blurred, the stars in the sky becoming nothing more than distant blurs of grey, branches turning into ripples. He could hear Magnus' voice call out to him, _Magnus, it hurts, it hurts_ , he tried to say but the words couldn't form. He could hear Jace screaming, and wondered if what had been happening to Jace over the past couple of days was finally happening to himself.

His skin started to tingle as blue danced over his vision, and he knew that Magnus was healing him, his magic sparkling around his head. Slowly, like ice melting, or more like coals burning out, Alec felt the pain dissipate. It soothed him, bathed him in a coolness that wrapped around him, a wall of something translucent - it reminded him of plastic sheets, thin curtains, thick smog - that muffled the rabble around him. The pain still lingered, gripping to his veins like a virus, and Alec felt as if his mind was floating to distance himself from the battle between fire-red and cold-blue inside him. It meant his eyes shut with ease as he let go, despite the distant calls of  _Alexander_ trying desperately to keep him afloat.

Nothingness followed.

 

×

 

"Alec," a voice, low and commanding. "Are you okay?"

Alec couldn't do anything but try to sit up. He felt cold hands carefully help him, lifting his back up. Suddenly, Izzy swallowed his vision as she too tried to lift him, blood streaking the side of her face and sweat rolling down her cheeks like tears. He looked around once his vision stopped spinning, and he came face to face with a pile of dead demons, their faces - if Alec could even say they had faces - twisted, their shrieks frozen in death. But beside them lay dead Shadowhunters. Mr Stoneheart stood over them, his face the very picture of Fury.

"Alec," Raphael prompted again, his face also suddenly coming Alec's vision. He could feel his eyes go wide at the shock at seeing Raphael aiding him, but he let it pass.

A quick look showed Alec that Mr Stoneheart's hands were shaking with a mixture of shock and rage, his brows furrowed. He was deep in thought; Alec knew it didn't bode well.

"Alec!" Izzy called out.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he repeated to both of them, who were looking at Alec intensely. Away to the other side of Mr Stoneheart, Jace was unconscious, a worried Clary shaking his shoulders whilst Luke kept watch behind her.

"Our plan failed," Alec croaked. "The Cup, it didn't work."

"It was working for a little bit," Izzy tried to placate. "But then something happened to you, and it just caused chaos."

"Izzy," Raphael trailed, his voice heavy. "You need to tell him," he said. Alec's body sunk.

Izzy nodded. "Okay." She looked to Clary who, when she turned around, was as white as a sheet, and looked as fragile as Alec felt.

"After you collapsed, Clary tried to use the Cup herself, but the demons attacked her before she could do anything with it. Raphael and Magnus think that they had figured out what we were doing, and maybe even knew about it beforehand. The demons took the Cup, and…”

Raphael shook his head softly. "Isabelle..." he said, a warning in his voice.

Izzy looked to the ground, wiping away the sweat on her cheeks. Alec wondered if it wasn't really sweat, but actual tears.

"Izzy, what's wrong?" he asked.

And then, terror gripped his stomach.

"Where's Magnus?"

Izzy pushed her hair back behind her ears as she spoke. "I promise you, Alec, he will be okay. He saved us all, the ones who hadn't been killed by the demons the second you went down," she said. "But he was completely drained, and we had to call Catarina Loss here to take care of him as soon as possible. You didn't wake up in time to see him go."

Alec felt his breath come in and out too quickly. "But he's okay? He's alive?" Alec asked again.

"Yeah, he'll be fine, but he's going to be out for a couple of days," she explained.

“Wait, what? Days? How much magic did he need to use?" he asked.

"Too much for my taste," Mr Stoneheart piped up, suddenly far too close to Alec. "Look at us Shadowhunters now, failing in our only purpose, instead having to rely on Downworlders to keep us safe," he spat.

"If it wasn't for Magnus, we'd all be dead," Alec sneered, matching the ferocity of Mr Stoneheart's gaze with his. He didn’t care about the consequences now. All he cared about was Magnus, the possible demotion be damned.

"And if it wasn't for you, neither Ben nor Thomas would _actually_ be dead, and we wouldn’t have lost the Mortal Cup!" Mr Stoneheart replied sharply. "I am removing you as Head of the Institute, effective immediately," he said firmly. “Your inefficiency is a disgrace to all of us, Mr Lightwood. Your father was a much better Head than you were.”

"What, you can't do that!" Izzy protested.

"Yes, I can. The Clave cannot allow for such failings. We lost one of the Mortal Instruments, again, thanks to your brother. We have lost valuable soldiers tonight too, and this fraternising with Downworlders has led this Institute to becoming far too reliant on their help," he continued like a bulldozer.

The rest of the conversation flew over Alec's head like running water, all sounds roaring in his ears, nothing specific filtering through. _At least Magnus' is safe_ , he tried to think to himself, repeating those words over and over like a mantra to keep the tide of Isabelle’s shouting at bay.

 _Magnus is alive. Magnus is safe_...

 

×

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Ya’aburnee_ , Arabic: “a way to declare your hope that your loved one will outlive you because of how unbearable it would be to live without them. It is a gorgeous, painful expression of desire to spare yourself the pain of a life without a person you love."
> 
>  
> 
> please let me know if there's anything I've missed that I need to include as a warning for this chapter! hope you're all enjoying the fic so far


	5. iktsuarpok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **general warning** for canon typical levels of violence

×

 

Three hours felt like three days as Alec sat by his desk, fumbling with his phone. Catarina had managed to give Alec a brief call, telling him that Magnus was going to be okay, that the magic he used left him drained and almost powerless. Jace not having woken up since both he and Alec had collapsed made the situation even worse. His heart was bursting with worry.

He was thankful that the others had managed to leave the fight relatively unscathed. Izzy had helped him walk back to his room, taking care to place iratzes around his aching chest, although they did nothing to relieve the toll taken on his mind. He felt drained, a gnawing headache clawing away at his synapses. Feeling even just a glimpse of Jace's pain had been enough to jolt Alect into shock. Having his mind being completely taken over and filled with horror and pain. He didn't know how Jace had barely been able to stand and beg Alec to join the mission after feeling like this.

His phone vibrated and Alec's heart started to rabbit uncontrollably. Was it Magnus? His mind raced. He clicked the phone, pulling up his notifications. _Missed call from Raj_ , it read. He sighed. He just wanted to know if Magnus was okay. A small part of him knew that Magnus was probably fast asleep, lying on one of Catarina's beds as she worked to heal him and let Magnus recuperate.

He pinched the bridge between his nose and his forehead, his aching head only getting stronger as he remembered what else was supposed to happen today: the Silent Brothers. Alec had put in a request for their assistance as soon as the connection between Jace and Jonathan had become apparent, and after Clary's confession that Jace had been brought back from the dead. Apparently, Angels could also make mistakes.

Quickly, Alec called Raj, checking to make sure the Silent Brothers had definitely arrived. He may not be Head of the Institute anymore, but that didn't mean he wouldn't not be there for his brother. News probably hadn't spread around fast enough if Raj was calling him this long after Mr Stoneheart had dismissed Alec from his duties, but a small part of Alec hoped that Raj knew Alec would want to be there with Jace and Izzy. Dealing with the Silent Brothers was no easy feat.

Raj picked up not long after Alec had dialled for him. "Hey Raj, sorry for missing your call earlier," he apologised. "What is it?"

"Hey Alec, just letting you know that the Silent Brothers have arrived for Jace. They're on their way to his room now. I'm sure if you run you can catch them," he informed.

Alec let go of his nose and breathed out hurriedly. “Thanks Raj, I appreciate it."

Between Magnus' rest and Jace's examination, Alec was in for a long night.

 

×××

 

Izzy, his parents, and Max were already there when Alec arrived. His mother instantly hugged him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tightly.

"I think if we see the Silent Brothers long enough, we might actually form a friendship," she tried to joke, but Alec could feel the wetness of her tears on his shoulders.

"He'll be fine," he assured her. "They're just examining him, he's not dying," he said, leaving out the 'probably' to keep her from worrying even more.

Robert only acknowledged him with a firm nod, eyes on his golden boy. Alec couldn't help but feel that he had disappointed him once again in just a few short hours. Whilst the news of Alec's dismissal may not have spread around the Institute, it would have spread like wildfire in the Clave and in Idris. Alec could only hope that the Silent Brothers would eliminate some of his sickening worry (he thought it would be better if the ground swallowed him whole than to have to face a word from his father about Idris right now).

He ignored his father, instead heading straight to Izzy, his rock in what seemed to be an ever-difficult life that he seemed to lead. She gripped his hands tight, long, sharp nails pricking his skin lightly. He gripped back just as hard.

The Silent Brothers then began their examination. He couldn't really tell, but he felt as if the pits of one of the Brothers' eyes were looking right at him, searching for something that Alec couldn't define. It unnerved him to say the least.

Brother Enoch was the one to lead the examination, his hands waving over Jace's body in a similar fashion as to how Magnus would cast his spells. It only served to make the ache in Alec's chest swell in size.

Jace's muscles began to twitch as whatever spell Brother Enoch was casting reached him. His silent lips shook, pathetic moans spluttering out of his mouth as the intensity of Brother Enoch's hand movements grew.

As if triggering some sort of defence response, Alec could feel his rune burn, the same as it had done at Central Park. Tendrils of fire began to extend from his torso to his mind, and he collapsed into Izzy tiredly as he felt his body give into it again.

"Alec!" Izzy exclaimed, letting him fall safely to the ground in her arms. "It's happening again, isn't it?" she asked, dark brown eyes flooded with worry, with pain at having to see one of her own blood go through all this.

Alec's eyes felt glazed over as he tried to concentrate on the present. "Where's Magnus?" he asked weakly.

"Alec, you know he's not here," Izzy tried to placate, stroking his head. He could feel his mother's hands on his forehead, although he struggled to make out her face as the pain increased.

"Tell Brother Enoch to stop!" she ordered to Alec's father, but he reached out, shaking his head.

"No," he winced. "Let them," he told her.

"He's right," Izzy conceded. "If there really is a connection that the Silent Brothers can identify and possibly fix, then we need to keep going. Jonathan might be using their parabatai bond through Jace's blood to stop us," she argued, earning a weary nod from their mother.

Alec bit his tongue in an attempt to stop himself from screaming. By the Angel, how badly he wanted Magnus in this moment was an intensity that rivalled the physical pain across his body. His breaths felt ragged; he could taste copper in his mouth as a bolt of pain ran across all his nerves, making him bite down hard.

“Alec?”

Oh God, Max – _he couldn't be here_ , he couldn't see Alec like this, Alec cried out in his head.

"It's okay, Alec, I'm here. If I can survive the Silent Brothers, I know you can too," he said. Alec's watered eyes could barely make out his little brother's slightly-chubby face as the pain grew.

And he gave into it. The ground became nothing. He shut his eyes, the dim lighting of Jace's room becoming too much for them to take. He clutched at his parabatai bond as if it were the only thing keeping him afloat. He forgot the world.

But then, as if taking stars to his eyes, he remembered Magnus. He remembered how soothing his magic had been when this happened before. The blue wash of energy and light that made him feel warm and safe. He tried to re-imagine it, trying to ground himself in _something_ as the Silent Brothers took their time examining Jace.

He had almost forgotten that other people were around him until Brother Enoch had stopped his spell-casting. Alec came back to reality sweaty and shaky in his sister's arms, his mother stroking his hair and Max watching him with a worried look too old to be on such a young face.

 _We have examined the Herondale boy_ , Brother Enoch began. Alec hoped the pain hadn't been in vain. _It appears that a blood connection does exist between him and Jonathan Morgenstern, but it is unlike anything we have ever seen_ , he reported. _The protection spells that our brotherhood placed on him as a baby would have blocked this connection, but when the Angel Raziel rebirthed him, these enchantments were removed, leaving him open and vulnerable to any sort of spell_.

"Would performing the ritual again block the effects?" his mother inquired almost immediately.

 _Whilst we cannot say for certain, it is highly likely they would_ , he suggested. _We can make arrangements for the ceremony to take place tomorrow_.

"Thank you, Brother Enoch," his father said courteously.

Brother Enoch acknowledged Robert with a silent nod before returning to collect his things.

Alec was recovering on the floor when he noticed it again, the staring from the other Silent Brother - one he couldn't ever remember meeting. They all looked so similar with their sewn mouths and pits for eyes, skin deformed after years of servitude and powerful runes changing their features. This one was looking right at him.

 _You can rise above this connection_ , the Brother said to him. Alec spared a quick around the room before deducing that this Brother was directing these thoughts to him only. _A parabatai bond is sacred and possesses many powers that even we as Brothers have not been able to elucidate._

 _But how do I beat a blood connection? It's one of the strongest forms of magic a person can commit_ , Alec argued. _And if Jonathan's being supported by the Greater Demon Lilith, how can I beat that?_

 _I would not encourage the amount of pessimism that you possess, young Shadowhunter. The world has a way of balancing itself. There will be a force in your life that will be able to assist you in this_ , he said, leaving Alec more bewildered than before. The Brothers left not long afterwards.

Who in the world was supposed to help him overcome a Greater Demon?

 

×××

 

"No, Alec, Cat is literally keeping me on house arrest," Magnus complained down the line of the phone. He sounded tired even now to the Shadowhunter.

Apparently, Catarina had been insistent that Magnus rest in a place of calm.

"I know I used a lot of magic, but this is just ridiculous – I'm not even allowed to magic takeout," he whined.

"So, you now have to phone in like a normal person?" Alec teased.

"Yes! It's terribly slow, how did you cope before me?"

Alec managed to give a genuine chuckle. "I guess I never really had a reference point for magically stolen goods."

"They're not stolen, you know perfectly well I leave behind money from the places I get my food from," Magnus argued, which only served to make Alec laugh more.

"You know I know that," Alec smiled down the line. "I miss you," he added.

Magnus then went solemn over the phone. "I miss you too. It's been a few hours since we were last together and we're already longing for each other as if it had been days or months."

Alec hadn't been lying when he said he didn't think he could live without Magnus. And now it seemed that not only was the world ending, but his own mind could be under attack at any point.

"The Silent Brothers came," he started. Catarina had told him not to try to add any stress to Magnus' environment, which is why he wasn't allowed to go and visit Magnus. He had debated whether he should tell the warlock what had happened after he had been taken to Cat's. Ultimately, the side that said he didn't want to lose Magnus to another petty argument won out. "They confirmed our theory that Jace and Jonathan are connected by blood. He had lost protections when Raziel gave Jace back his life, and we're going to do the procedure again tomorrow. But one of them said that I could use our parabatai bond to overcome it," he continued. "I didn't really understand what he meant."

"Maybe there's a way the parabatai bond can be more powerful than a blood connection?" Magnus suggested. "Valentine didn’t exactly go in with a solid experimental plan. I'd research this in more depth, but Cat's even taken away the good books," he complained again. "And _no_ , books all about peace and love are in no way a substitution for a good thriller!" Magnus called away from the phone, obviously trying to address Cat. Alec was glad Magnus had such a good friend to look after him.

"I'm sure Izzy's already on it, it's okay," he said. "And, um – I just wanted to let you know, and please don't get stressed about this, but the Clave removed me as Head of the Institute," he half-whispered, biting his already-sore tongue as he waited for Magnus' response.

"Oh, darling," he said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's not your fault," Alec replied. "I don't blame them after the mess I've made."

"Alexander, no one else could have organised this mess better than you," Magnus tried to encourage him. "But the Clave has a history of making bad choices. I'm sure this is just another one of them."

"I'll figure it out. In the meantime, the warlocks need a leader to look after them," Alec said, diverting the conversation. "When am I allowed to see you again?"

"Well, Catarina says no one can see me after she's done verbally whipping me to pieces about my unnecessarily heavy use of magic," Magnus joked. "But probably tomorrow morning, I assume. I only need a full night's sleep to regain functional use of my magic after a particularly heavy depletion," he explained.

"I can't wait to see you," Alec blurted. "It feels like so much has happened so quickly and I don't have you to anchor me," he tried to explain, but felt his words didn't fully articulate the emotions he was feeling.

Alec felt so tired, so lacking in energy, and it felt as if whenever Jonathan was connecting to Jace, he was draining both him and Jace of their energy. Alec was sure it was purely from the pain he was putting them both under and less to do with actually taking their energy – the Silent Brothers would have noticed if so – and Alec just wanted someone to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay. Izzy was off researching with Simon and his mother and father had taken Max back to Idris to keep him safe (no matter how many times Max protested that he was perfectly capable of defeating the demon on his own).

"And I can't wait to finally be with you again," Magnus replied, his voice warm with hope. He let out a yawn that translated down the phone to Alec, which only made him yawn back.

"I think that's a cue we both need to sleep," Alec conceded.

"I know – I don't want to though, I want to talk with you all night," Magnus moaned. "But if we stay up, I won't be rested in time to see you," he reasoned.

"Sound but harsh logic," Alec said tiredly. "We'll see each other tomorrow," he promised.

"Yes, we will," Magnus sounded resolute. "You better miss me even more by then."

Alec was smiling with half-lidded eyes by the time Magnus was finally able to hang up the phone.

 

×××

 

Alec woke up to furious knocking on the door, the sounds worsening the pounding of his head. He checked his phone – he had barely slept two hours. His body still felt drained and the after-effects of Jace's blood connection to Jonathan had left Alec's synapses raw and tender.

"Come in," he groaned, thankful he'd slept in his gear. Even though Alec trained shirtless most of the time, he still didn't like being on display, especially in his room, unless Magnus was there.

"Sorry Alec, it's me again," Raj announced as he slipped past Alec's bedroom door. "Mr Stoneheart wants to see you and your sister in his office. Izzy's already on her way there," he said.

 _Damn it_ , Alec thought to himself. No doubt this would be about the incident at Magnus' loft with the Seelies. Although, the more Alec thought about it, the more reasons cropped up: Jace's connection to Jonathan, the demons, Lilith's potential rise, the kidnappings. There was an array of things Alec could be punished for. He was thankful he had nothing left to lose, if he was being honest.

He nodded in thanks to Raj, who left Alec in peace.

Alec shrugged on a jacket after splashing some cold water over his face and taking some mundane medication for pain. Clary had got them stocked up with over-the-counter tablets after she realised that the iratzes were doing nothing for Jace's headaches. Alec doubted mundane drugs would have any effect if iratzes didn't, but it was worth a shot.

He quickly dashed from his room to his old office, which was warmed by a roaring fire. Izzy was already sat on one of the chairs in the room, quiet, but with a determined look on her face. Her eyes perked up when Alec entered the room.

"I'm sorry to have woken you up so soon, Mr Lightwood," Mr Stoneheart told Alec once he made himself at home next to Izzy. "But it's a matter of urgency that cannot be left unattended, and I need your account," he continued.

"My account?" Alec queried.

"Yes, of the Seelie attack at the High Warlock of Brooklyn's home," he said. A part of Alec fizzed in pride at the mention of Magnus' full, proper title. "It's caused a lot of tension within the Downworld and many are wondering whether to defect to the Queen in case of war, or to trust those that sit on that cabinet you set up. Your sister has already given her side of the story."

"Uh," Alec started, his head still pounding. "There's not really much to say. They came to Magnus' loft to find Simon Lewis, a vampire who had escaped their hold, and Magnus resolved it peacefully."

Mr Stoneheart nodded, humming to himself. "That corroborates with Miss Lightwood's account, although lacking in detail," he commented. "Did the Seelies injure anyone?"

"No, they didn't. Magnus used a spell to distract them whilst Isabelle collected their weapons. Magnus said that any grievance the Seelie Queen had concerning Simon Lewis must be taken up with him, and with him alone, and that the Queen must see him in person."

Mr Stoneheart pressed his lips together, acknowledging Alec's account. "Okay," he sighed. "You see, I called you both down to confirm that, as The Clave has failed in setting up a meeting with the Seelie Queen. She claimed she would only meet with Magnus Bane, but she is growing tired of waiting for him," he said, annoyance in his tone. "Is Magnus Bane recovering well?" he directed to Alec.

"It'll take him at least until tomorrow morning before he's able to function with his magic," he replied. "He'll be in no fit state to see her until then, especially if the Queen is planning another ambush."

Nodding, Mr Stoneheart placed his hands into the pockets of his blazer. "He really can't be ready before then?"

"It wasn't up to me. And even if it was, I would still say the same thing," he defended.

Mr Stoneheart took in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. His skin went clammy; a vein popped on the left side of his forehead as his body jittered with simmering tension. A part of Alec steeled himself for another dressing down and he could feel Izzy do the same next to him, her back going stiff in the corner of Alec's eyes.

"This is disappointing. The Clave will not be happy about this," he grumbled as he rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to rub his emotions away. "You two are both dismissed for the night. I suggest you try to get some more rest, Mr Lightwood. According to the Silent Brothers, you'll need all your strength if we're to defeat Lilith and Jonathan and their demonic uprising," he finished bitterly.

Alec looked to Izzy, who met his eyes with confusion and sympathy. They quickly vacated their seats, being fast to shut the door and walk away from Mr Stoneheart's ear shot.

"What the hell just happened?" Izzy asked. "I was expecting him to go off at you."

"The Clave must be pushing him for results," Alec deduced. "It makes sense – he came here expecting to easily remove me from my position, he didn’t know what trouble he was getting himself into.”

"And what are we supposed to do? Follow his orders until we either defeat these things and have him as our Head for the next few years, or watch him crack and let this place be vulnerable to Lilith and Jonathan?"

Alec scratched his head as he pondered Izzy's words. She wasn't wrong.

"I think it's best if we go along with everything at the moment, for both Jace's and Magnus' best interests," he argued. "It's better if we can get Jace back to 100% and use his Herondale heritage to challenge Mr Stoneheart and help protect Magnus if we can convince Mr Stoneheart that he's a useful ally, along with Luke and Raphael."

"You know they're not going to like being thought of as 'useful' under the eyes of the Clave, not after everything we've been promising them with change," Izzy countered.

"I know that," Alec sighed. "But what else can we do?"

It was telling of their situation that Izzy just nodded and silently worried her lips with her teeth, peeling off bold, red lipstick, instead of arguing about it more.

 

×××

 

Magnus' loft didn't feel like home without Magnus in it. Nowhere did. Alec couldn't really remember a time that he'd been here without Magnus with him, making comments about their work, trying to get Alec to dance sober and in the middle of the day, flicking flour at Alec's face when they kept trying (and failing) to successfully make pancakes – Magnus insisted on magicking in the best in the world, but Alec persisted that one day they would get it right.

It felt strange to stand in the middle of the room in complete and utter silence. There was always something going on – be it one of Magnus' clients complaining about something or music being played softly in the background to give Alec something to concentrate on.

But Magnus had finally been given the all clear and Alec wanted to be home when Magnus was allowed to portal himself back. Cat had been very insistent that Magnus stay under her supervision. Alec suspected that she just missed him and wanted to spend some extra time with him without the stress of the Clave getting in the way.

He tapped his feet against the ground impatiently as seconds ticked by. Magnus had enthusiastically texted him that Cat was going to let him go at around three o'clock. It was now five minutes past, and Alec felt as if years had flown by rather than mere seconds as he stood, unmoving, in the middle of Magnus’ loft.

The stress in his stomach had been replaced by the flutter of excitement. Alec smiled uncontrollably as he imagined Magnus strolling through a portal. His mind could already hear irritation in Magnus’ tone as he would instantly complain Cat’s mother hen tendencies, even though Alec would see through to the love and adoration Magnus had for one of his oldest friends.

Tucked behind his back, and making his hands numb with a combination of wetness and coldness, were a bouquet of flowers. Alec didn't really know what the hell he was doing at the store when he was buying them, but he had seen an array of purples, blues and golds in the window-front and couldn't resist going and picking things out for Magnus. The lady who arranged his flowers helped Alec choose flowers the represented some form of healing and wishing good health. He had the definitions practically burned in his head. He wanted Magnus to be surprised.

Alec was dreading the conversation he would inevitably be having about the Seelie Queen, Mr Stoneheart and the Clave. He had tried to get some sleep, but kept tossing and turning throughout the night, his mind playing different versions of Magnus’ reactions to Mr Stoneheart’s interrogation and subsequent frustration.

A quick mirror check made Alec sure that Magnus wouldn't be able to see them when he came back, as long as he didn't somehow portal behind Alec at all.

And then, Alec heard it: the tell-tale whoosh of Magnus opening up a portal. He looked up from the ground that he had been staring at, wiggling his fingers in excitement, as Magnus stepped through the portal, just as he had imagined him to.

"I love Catarina with all my heart, but it's as if she had forgotten what the word 'boundary' means," he started ranting, waving a ringed hand in the air and closing the portal behind him. He looked great – better than great, he looked _alive_ and healthy.

"She forgets that I have healing abilities myself, but she did treat me like a king I have to say. If only she had let you visit me, I probably would have recovered at least half a day quicker," he continued, going into kiss Alec as soon as he stood in front of him.

He pulled away after noticing Alec's rigid posture and unmoving arms. "Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his speech.

Alec smiled, a blush, again, creeping up his neck to dust his cheeks red.

"Nothing, it's just... well, I love you," he blurted before pulling his arms to his front, the bouquet on full display.

Although Magnus rarely showed the full expanse of his emotions, Alec knew him well enough to read his face. His eyes widened in disbelief, his focus on the different flowers, his mind working out their meaning, although Alec still wanted to describe it to him.

"The peonies mean healing, the yarrow means to wish good health, and the stars of bethlehem means hope," he listed. "And I got you these orange roses to match the sheets in your room," he added, tightness in chest the only indication of nerves. He hoped Magnus would love them – but Alec could never tell if an idea was good until it was put into action. He always was bad at guessing.

But Alec smiled in relief when Magnus' lips curled up a fraction and when his eyes went soft.

"Alexander..." he trailed.

"Well, I missed you and thought you might need something to help celebrate finally being let out of Catarina's hold," Alec said, swaying his body side to side unconsciously as he watched Magnus admire the bouquet.

"They're going to be the centre-piece to my dinner table," Magnus announced, a big smile letting loose upon his face.

"You never have dinner parties, though?" Alec noted.

"Once we've finally managed to sort out this mess with the demons, Lilith and Jonathan, we'll throw a big one," he suggested. "Who knows," he continued. "Maybe a good dinner party will change the world!"

Alec nodded and followed Magnus to the dining room, wrapping his arms around Magnus' waist after Magnus placed the bouquet in a golden vase, detailed with dark markings, dotted like constellations.

"I hope so."

Magnus leaned back into his touch, his head resting gently against Alec's shoulders. He let out a long breath. "I struggle to remember the last time I used that amount of magic," he said. "I know I've let myself loose when healing Luke and closing the portal to Edom, but it's rare that I fall unconscious with exertion," he described.

"I still don't even know what happened," Alec added. "We've been so worried about Jace, knowing you were being looked after by Catarina, that Izzy hasn't had the time to tell me," he continued.

"I can't remember too many details myself," Magnus countered, but continued. "I remember falling, you screaming..."

Alec nuzzled his nose into Magnus' neck, feeling the warmth of skin and the vibrations of his voice as he spoke.

"I was terrified," Magnus confessed. "Both you and Jace went down and none of the others knew what to do; it was chaos. I tried to heal you first, hoping that Clary could stop the demons using the cup since she wasn't tied to Jace through blood, but the demons descended on her too quickly," he explained. "One of the demons that had the cup got away, and the rest stayed behind, ready to decimate everyone. You and Jace were still down and I knew I had to do something, and quickly.

"I used all the magic I had and just attacked them. They were very powerful, but even their smart minds couldn't plan how to out-manoeuvre my magic when I start to lose control. I had them wiped out within a few minutes, but there's a reason I try to never have magical outbursts."

Alec took Magnus' words in, lips brushing over Magnus' skin as he leaned in closer. "You can't unleash your full powers in case of days like this, where you apparently can't even stand without collapsing."

Catarina had not found the situation amusing. Neither had Alec.

"I hadn't even used my full strength," Magnus stated. "Just enough to feel the after effects of magical burnout more than I should do."

"You didn't?" Alec asked.

"Nope – I would have to completely lose control. I gained a lot of power because of my heritage," he said, before going quiet.

"Your mother?" Alec tried.

"This is probably a conversation for another day," Magnus interjected, turning around in Alec's arms to face him. "But one I will have with you, I promise."

Alec just smiled, cupping Magnus' cheek with his hands. "Whenever you're ready," he assured Magnus, whose eyes gained a brighter quality to them with just those words. "I'm glad you're okay," Alec added.

"So am I," Magnus joked. "But you better come back from missions as pretty as you leave for them," he continued. "Or better, not go looking for these demons at all!"

"Magnus, even you know that's unrealistic."

"I know," he said. "I'm just worried."

"I am too," Alec added. "But there are more people than you or me the demons are hurting, or who they could hurt now that they have the Mortal Cup," he continued. "When Izzy is able to figure out where they're hiding and how we can beat them, Lilith and Jonathan, then I have to go."

Magnus looked forlorn, but Alec could still sense some pride. "I'll be there to help you as much as I can if you need me. Cat told me that the attacks on warlocks seemed to have died down since last night."

"That's good," Alec tried to assure, but he still had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Something bigger was coming.

Magnus sensed this too, and rested his hand on Alec's arm, comforting and loving all at once.

"Whatever we face, we face together," he said. "No matter what."

And if that couldn't reassure Alec that everything would be okay, Alec mused, then nothing would.

 

×××

 

Even though he wanted to flex his powers more and portal to the Institute, Alec managed to convince Magnus to use the subway to get back to the others. Alec had gotten a call from Clary alerting him that Jace had finally woken up, disorientated and confused, and was in need of some pain relief from Magnus. Apparently, the mundane medicine had stopped working altogether.

Alec had relished in the closeness with which he was able to travel with Magnus in New York. It was hard enough not feeling comfortable enough to hold Magnus' hands in the Institute; to ride a crowded subway, brushing their noses together in comfort without anyone lifting an eyebrow or looking away too quick for Alec not to notice felt almost life changing. He wasn't blind – he knew mundanes didn't live without prejudice, but it was nice to be somewhere where he didn't have to worry about it.

The coach of the train was quieter than Alec was used to. People were silent, reading the newspaper or engrossed on their phone, some laughing at videos or something someone texted them. Pretty much everyone had headphones plugged in, heads bopping to music Alec had never heard before. He hadn't really been inclined towards the mundane life – music, fiction, travelling. These things weren't necessary for a Shadowhunter, so he never thought them necessary for him. But travelling with Magnus to Tokyo and Prague had opened up a whole other world Alec had never considered, and made him excited with thoughts of the future.

One girl seemed to be asleep, but the slight tap of her feet against the carriage floor and a focus written in her face told Alec that she was completely in her own world, music flooding her system. The only times Alec had been able to appreciate that sort of focus was either with Magnus, or on the battlefield.

When he turned back around to look at Magnus, he found his boyfriend staring at him fondly.

"What?" He asked, a blush forcing its way up his cheeks despite his brain telling his body not to.

"Nothing, just... I'm not sure I've ever seen you take in mundanes like that before," he noted quietly.

Alec ducked his head and clutched onto a rail near the train ceiling, holding himself steady as they were rattled around.

"Just appreciating it as much I can," he said.

Magnus took his other free hand, stroking his palms, sweaty in the stuffy heat of the train. "We'll beat this, okay," Magnus said vaguely. "And you'll get to appreciate this world longer than you think."

An elderly woman, one of the few not listening to music or distracted by a book or newspaper, was eavesdropping on their conversation. Alec could feel her stare, and caught her eye. She smiled at him, a sad one, but she nodded towards him and Magnus approvingly. Something warm bubbled in Alec's stomach. She gave him a small wave as they neared their stop, and Alec gave a small one back.

Magnus noticed, and gave his own as they stepped off into the subway station, coldness suddenly hitting them again.

"I think she thought I was talking about an illness," Magnus said softly.

Oh, Alec mused to himself. _Oh_ , he realised as he replayed Magnus' words to himself. "I'm glad you were paying attention," he said. "Pretty sure I would have rambled on about a potential apocalypse right in the middle of New York," he laughed.

Magnus chuckled with him, but look worried. "How are you feeling? Anything in the bond?"

Alec shook his head. "No, it feels normal at the moment. I'm just tired," he replied. He felt exhausted to the bone. One more set back would tip him over the edge, he worried. At least he wasn't Head of the Institute anymore.

They made their way out of the Cathedral Parkway Station, just a few minutes’ walk away from the Institute.

"Just to warn you," Alec began. "The Clave official, Edward Stoneheart – he'll probably try to question you about the Seelie Queen," he told Magnus.

"Why?" Magnus asked.

"News travels fast in the Institute. Once he found out about the Seelie attack, he told the Clave – obviously. But the Seelie Queen will only meet with you, not the Clave," he continued. "I told him that you wouldn't be ready until today, but I could tell he was getting frustrated."

Magnus just took the news in. "I can handle one ruffled Clave member," he smirked.

"I don't doubt that you can handle him but... just be careful, okay. I don't want you getting into any trouble with the Clave."

"My darling, I'm pretty sure the Clave owe me more than enough favours for a little bit of trouble.” he teased. “Besides, with the Seelie Queen only concerned with me, surely it's in their best interests to be nice to me?"

Alec suddenly wondered why Clave punishment even crossed his mind.

 

×××

 

It was amazing how quick the Clave could force through orders when they wanted to. Alec and Magnus had barely set foot inside the Institute for more than a second before Mr Stoneheart was on their tails.

"I do hope you're feeling better, Mr Bane," Mr Stoneheart said brazenly.

"And a pleasure to see you again too, Edward," Magnus cooed. Alec almost snorted.

"I'm sure Mr Lightwood has informed you about the tenuous relations between the Downworld and the Seelie Queen's refusal to address the Clave?"

"Please, don't patronise me," Magnus deadpanned. "I've been alive before even your great, great grandfather was even an idea. The Downworld wouldn't be so tense if the Clave wasn't so self-entitled."

Alec physically had to stop himself from saying a word as he watched Mr Stoneheart bite down on his tongue. He had to remember that this was him once, uptight and drowning in Clave rules and the philosophy that Shadowhunters were better than others.

"Since you seem to be so knowledgeable," Mr Stoneheart tried to start again. "I hope you know exactly what you're doing with the Seelie Queen. She deceived you before, and she'll do it again."

"What did I say about patronising me?" Magnus queried with raised eyebrows. His long coat emphasised Magnus' height when he raised his hands in mock performance, revealing thick, detailed boots and a dark waistcoat with miniature metal chains giving the appearance of armour. Magnus looked strong, powerful. He shut Mr Stoneheart's mouth up quickly.

"Now, if you must excuse me, I believe I need to go see Jace Herondale before his headache grows any worse. I'm sure the Inquisitor wouldn't want me to be kept waiting any longer."

Mr Stoneheart stepped aside tersely. "Lightwood," he thundered "Once you've shown Mr Bane to Jace Herondale’s room, I'd like you back in the Ops Centre. Your sister has been trying to isolate demonic activity since the Mortal Cup was stolen and you may be required for an emergency mission," he instructed. "Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Alec responded before heading off with Magnus to find Jace.

 

×××

 

Jace's bedroom floor was cluttered with sketches thrown haphazardly. There were rough lines of red and black harshly imprinted into the paper, pens and pencils pressed so hard that Alec could see rips on some of the pages. In the corner, Clary was watching as Jace was drawing in her sketchbook, his hand fisting a pencil with more strength than was necessary. His brow was creased in pain, and his mouth was shaped in a frown. Alec looked to the bond, and only found stress, confusion and the echoes of a headache.

"Sorry we're late, your new boss decided he could try to show me up in front of my own boyfriend," Magnus joked.

Jace was still furiously scribbling, but his shoulders sagged in relief once Magnus made his way next to him.

"It's okay," Jace muttered.

On close inspection, Alec could see the sweat dripping from his forehead, the shivering and shaking of muscles, the goosebumps on his skin.

"Don't worry, I'll sort that pain out for you in a second," Magnus soothed, placing a hand on Jace's forehead. He then started to utter strange words softly – a language Alec couldn't understand – and a blue glow spread over his hand and to Jace's head.

In an instant, Jace shut his eyes with relief. His mouth shaped itself to an 'o' and his face visibly relaxed. Clary grabbed the pens from his hands and took the sketchbook away from him, ripping out the last page Jace had drew before she shut the book away completely.

"Magnus was able to take away most of my pain before he had to deal with the demons before," Alec commented quietly. "Jace should be fine soon."

Clary nodded. "It's just hard," she said. "Seeing him in so much pain and not being able to do anything."

"I get that," Alec said. "I felt like that a lot when Izzy was going through the yin fen withdrawal," he added.

Clary looked up to him. "That must have been horrible to watch," she said.

"Yeah, it was – but she got through it, and Jace will get through this too."

Magnus' eyes were shut in concentration, but opened sharply once the spell was done. Jace nodded himself back to alertness, the taking of his pain almost making him fall asleep.

"What's all this?" Alec asked Clary as Jace managed to shake himself back into wakefulness.

"Oh, nothing – Jace said the pressure of the pen on paper helped him to relieve the headache," Clary explained.

"Yeah," Jace sighed. "I don't really know why. I think just having one thing to concentrate on helped," he tried to reason.

"Mundanes tend to use drawing as a form of stress relief," Magnus explained. "There's a whole retail area dedicated to mindful drawing nowadays," he continued.

"Could be something like that, I wasn't really thinking when I drew," Jace said.

"Why the colours?" Alec asked, a feeling of familiarity hitting him.

Jace shook his head in confusion. "Uh, I don't really know – I wasn't really looking properly when I picked up the pens."

Alec bent down to pick up a couple of pages. None of the doodles made sense. All the lines were crooked or curled or too short to lead anywhere, but the colours stuck with him.

"Does it seem important to you?" Magnus asked him, concern shadowing his face.

"Um, I'm not sure," Alec replied truthfully. "I just feel like it's triggering a memory."

"Alec!" Someone burst into Jace's room – one of the younger recruits. "Mr Stoneheart said he needs you in the Ops Centre," she called out. Her hair was brown and wild, as were her eyes. "He said there might be more demonic activity."

She dashed out the room as fast as she entered.

"It's okay, we'll still be here when you get back," Magnus assured him, leaning in to kiss his lips briefly.

"I'll be back before you know it," he said, letting Magnus' warm hands linger over his cheek before he left him, Clary and Jace behind.

 

×××

 

Izzy came racing into the Ops Centre, her hair tied back slick and tight with her whip in hand. "They're congregating all over Central Park again, Alec," she announced quickly, her make-up not even done because of how fast the demons had descended into New York. Clave members armed to the teeth with seraph blades stood by the entrance, waiting for Mr Stoneheart's orders.

"Thank you, Isabelle, and I'm glad to see you're ready for the mission," he commented, looking her up and down. Izzy, rolling her eyes, then chucked Alec his bow and arrows, the bow already strung and arrows sheathed in his quiver.

"And so is my brother," she said strongly. "Jace and Clary will be staying here. Jace is far too weak still and Clary hasn't had enough training despite her rune capabilities to deal with such a large group of demons."

"A good plan," Mr Stoneheart said. "Let’s hope it works.”

The group made their way to the location Izzy had found in Central Park in just under ten minutes. Alec worried his lips as he remembered Jessica, the first death, and how even one minute was slow enough for the demons to complete their own mission. Snow dusted the trees and Alec had to watch his step for ice, winter in full swing in New York now. His fingers grew numb around the string of his bow, but he was used to it now over years of practice.

"Here," Izzy suddenly called as they rounded a corner towards a bridge. The quiet trickles of a small river and the rustling of leaves in the gentle winds were the only sounds Alec could make out. He activated his vision rune, trying to watch out again for any dark shapes. In the distance, horns beeped and babies cried to their mothers, the innocence of mundanes on full display as he hunted.

And nothing. Alec couldn't see any signs of demons; no moving shadows, no shrieking or growling. There weren't even any footprints left in the snow.

Dread gathered in Alec's stomach as his mind processed the situation.

"They're not here," Mr Stoneheart evaluated. "Have the scanners been recalibrated?"

"Yes, Sir, we did it after your early request," Izzy reported. "They can't just _not_ be here – the scanners have been programmed to look for their specific pattern of activity since they've showed up."

"And has anyone told you if they're still there?" Alec asked. "Because whilst our Institute is pretty tech savvy, I know we don't have an app for the tracking system," he continued. "Izzy, this could be a trap."

"But we're here – if they wanted us to fall for a trap, then we're in the perfect spot for an ambush..." she trailed. Alec could see the cogs of her brain whirring. "But what if the trap's not for us."

"Exactly – think about it, who have Lilith and Jonathan been targeting the past week?"

Izzy gasped as she realised. "Jace."

"And who's been left behind in an Institute with wards that won't be able to withstand demons with Angel, Warlock, Werewolf and Seelie blood, an Institute that's just had its new Head and best soldiers leave it unprotected?"

"What is going on?" Mr Stoneheart asked, scrambling to keep his soldiers focused on searching for demons as they all listened in to Alec and Izzy's revelation.

"We need to get back to the Institute, now," Alec ordered. "They could already be under attack."

"But we don't know if the demons are still out here," he tried to argue.

Alec gave him the weight of his glare. "If we don't go back now, the entire Institute could be compromised," Alec boomed.

Edward Stoneheart, with his lean body, Clave posture and experience written all over his face, was at a loss. He looked at Alec with a flash of jealousy, rage shaking his body. He knew he’d lost.

His phone beeped. Magnus. Alec felt a frisson of fear when he read the text: _The Institute is under attack. Come quick._

"We need to go, it’s already happening," Alec barked.

The air was cold, and it hurt to breathe. The sting of the winter breeze made Alec's eyes water as it tore past him, his feet only just about keeping their hold on icy pathways as he sprinted and sprinted. He could hear Izzy's boots behind him, clacking loudly against the ground. Mr Stoneheart kept commanding meaningless instructions at the remaining Clave soldiers, trying to find some desperate foothold to control the situation. Alec would laugh, but they were running out of time.

Ten minutes was a long time.

Relief flood through Alec's system as he rounded a corner into the green space where the Institute was situated. There were no signs of movement on the outside, no bodies strewn across the ground or demons scratching against the doors. Alec hoped Magnus' text was a false alarm, but too much of Alec's heart and mind knew this was a trap meant for Jace.

He pulled the doors open quickly, arms straining at the weight of the Institute's heavy wooden doors, and his heart sank at what his eyes took in.

Blood lined painted the walls in scarlet streaks. Raj was assisting the wounded, who lay exhausted along the walls of the corridor; bandages were being furiously wrapped around arms, legs and torsos, blood spotting through the white fabric. _The nurses in the infirmary must be struggling to cope_ , Alec thought solemnly.

"What happened?" Mr Stoneheart asked immediately as soon as he caught Raj's eye.

Raj fumbled with the remaining bandages in his hands, adrenaline still coursing through his body, making him shake.

"It's okay, it looks like it's over," Alec assured him.

"We're okay now," Raj started. "But they came out of nowhere and they came fast. We weren't prepared. They walked right past the wards like they didn't even exist!"

Alec shut his eyes. The missing Shadowhunters and Downworlders and their blood had worked.

"People barely had weapons, but no one's died so far that I know of," Raj continued.

"Wait," Alec interrupted. "They didn't kill anyone?"

"No, I don't think so – the nurses and anyone on emergency patrols haven't reported anything back to me," he said. “But they ran towards the north wing of the Institute, by all the quarters,” Raj continued.

 _Oh, shit_.

Alec burst into a run immediately. Raj called out to him, confused, but Izzy followed him, running right behind his tail.

"Magnus!" He called as soon as he started nearing Jace's room, blood pulsing in his ears. "Magnus, are you there?!"

"Alec!" He heard Magnus reply, the sound of Magnus' boots against the wooden tiling around the corner easing Alec's heavy heart. The sight of him caused Alec to breathe a huge sigh of relief, and the velocity of his body almost body-checked Magnus into the wall as he gripped onto him in a vice-like hug.

"Thank god you're alive," Alec confessed, almost bumping Magnus' nose with his own as he tried to rest his forehead against Magnus', the stress of the situation still wrapping itself around his body. “Is Jace here?” He panicked, twirling around the room in a spin after letting go of Magnus.

"I’m sorry, Alexander," Magnus murmured.

Alec shook his head. This couldn’t be happening.

"They got Jace," he said. "There was nothing Clary or I could do."

Alec felt himself collapse again, his stomach bottoming like a broken dam, releasing a flood of panic that made him cling to the fabric of Magnus’ coat like a lifeline as Magnus slid down the wall to meet him.

The demons had gotten Jace. They had failed.

 

×

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Iktsuarpok_ , Inuit: “refers to the feeling of anticipation when you're expecting someone that leads you to constantly check to see if they're coming. It's the impatient excitement for a visit that makes you look out the window countless times in hope of seeing your guest arrive.”
> 
> I'm so, so sorry for the late update, my dissertation is overwhelming me at the moment! But, shadowhunters is back which makes me happy and I'm so excited for the rest of s3, it's already looking so good!


	6. jijvisha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings** : Canon-typical violence; descriptions of a panic attack at the beginning of the chapter

×

 

No, no, no, this can't be happening.

"Alec, please, listen to me." He heard his sister's voice but couldn't focus, he couldn't _feel_ anything but emptiness, like everything inside him had suddenly disappeared, leaving him hollow and broken.

"We will find him. We will get him back."

But they lost him, again. Jace was gone; the bond was nothing but void.

He couldn’t breathe – where had all the oxygen gone? A snake had wrapped itself around his throat and Alec couldn’t even _breathe_.

“You need to try to calm down for me Alec, you're scaring me!"

Lilith had got him, Jace was probably already dead, how _stupid_ was he? His chest ached and he shut his eyes to counter the dizziness he felt in his head.

"Alec."

Magnus.

"Alec, do you remember the day we went to Tokyo?"

 _Yes, I do, I really do_. _It was beautiful – cherry blossoms danced in the air as the wind blew. You complained about the way the breeze was messing with your scarf and you were afraid it was going to blow away. You’d bought the scarf from a nearby stall and you didn’t want to part ways with it so soon and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I loved you in that moment._

"I know you do," Magnus said, "I know you remember. We went to that sushi bar, because I insisted you try Japanese food in Japan," Magnus continued. "But you had spotted a photo booth, the one that was painted bright pink and covered in drawings of cats, the ones with the big eyes that made you laugh."

Alec did remember that. He had never seen anything like it before in his life.

"And then you made us go in and try out all those weird poses and I let you wear some of my jewellery. I'll never forget that day for the rest of my life."

Alec finally breathed out. "Neither will I," he croaked.

Magnus smiled, and slowly let himself hug Alec, who returned the hug with all the strength he had left in him.

But Jace was gone. He cried in Magnus shoulders, and let himself break down.

 

×××

 

Alec hadn't had a panic attack since he was fourteen years old.

It was the first and only time it had happened. Jace and Izzy had been progressing through training so quickly that Alec had felt like he was being left behind in the dust. Jace and he had grown so much closer than Alec had dared thought, and the confusion surrounding his emotions and how he felt about Jace only made everything worse. He loved Jace, but he also despised his confidence, his self-assurance and his high scores on pretty much every weapon. Izzy had aced all her tests and was ranking second, just behind Jace, on everything too. His mother had admired Alec's determination to learn about Clave history, but his fourth place ranking wasn't good enough for her. She never said it, but Alec could feel the disappointment.

So, one day, when he was training in his room, trying to remember how to properly block, he had hit his foot on a bedside drawer. Everything came out. The shock of the pain had seemed to trap his throat and he couldn't breathe. His chest felt as if it was collapsing, releasing shots of tension in his neck, and Alec thought that he had been dying. He was too embarrassed to call out for his mother. It was so late at night that he had doubted anyone would be up. It was before he and Jace had completed the parabatai ceremony, so there was no one to pick up on his anxiety.

He had sat on his bedroom floor and let it happen. By the time it was over, he was exhausted. He had wiped his face dry of tears, and took himself to bed, vowing that something like this would never, ever happen again.

 

×××

 

The shame that Alec felt after his breakdown in front of Magnus, Izzy and Clary made him wish the ground could swallow him whole. Thankfully, Clary had shut the door, locked it, and silenced the room.

"I'm sorry," Alec said, his voice tight with emotion as he breathed in and tried to keep himself calm.

"My love, you have nothing to be sorry for," Magnus said gently to him. Magnus had moved to Alec's side once Alec's crying had eased away. His hands were holding Alec's, stroking soft circles. It helped.

"You've been stressed for a long time, Alec," Izzy argued. "Just know that we love you, very, very much."

"I'm just glad the rest of you are okay," Alec said. "But Jace-"

"We will find him," Magnus interrupted. "He'll be in Lilith's realm, in Edom. I can help get you there, but it won't be easy," he continued.

"Won't it be difficult to fight there if we're surrounded by demons?" Izzy asked.

"Oh, definitely," Magnus conceded. "But not impossible."

Clary then perked up. "Can you really just portal to Edom, then?" She asked.

"No, not directly. I can take us to Faerie, a place concealing a passage that I can open between the two worlds, but we'll need the permission of the Seelie Queen to enter it if we want to avoid a war," Magnus said. "So, it's a good thing the Queen has been so eager to meet with me."

Alec smiled at Magnus' wink. They might just find Jace after all.

 

×××

 

Magnus was readying himself back at the loft with the Seelie Queen. Alec knew he would be okay, but he still couldn't help but worry about the fact that Magnus was currently alone with a very powerful woman, who was known for playing tricks and manipulating others.

Alec was waiting for Mr Stoneheart to ready the Shadowhunters for battle. Dread formed in his gut. It felt like they were heading into a war most wouldn't escape. Edom wasn't exactly a peaceful place to wander around in; it was filled with demons, all starving from having to scavenge for food their entire lives. Alec had been told stories of it's slow evolution to a waste land, full of fire and blood, and ichor from the demons Lilith created. It was supposedly the realm she was banished to, but Alec knew she valued it more as a home than a prison.

So, Alec hid himself in Jace's room. No one had been in it since the forensics had been inside to analyse it after his disappearance. It was so much tidier than he remembered it ever being. Jace was a messy person – always throwing his boots and clothes around – so to find his bed made and floor cleaned was a surprise. The sketches Jace had made before Alec had left had been cleaned up, left in a neat pile on one of his dressers.

Something still bugged Alec about those drawings. Jace said he didn't know what he was doing, but Alec had seen what Jace had seen through the parabatai connection every time Jonathan had been trying to get to Jace. There had been blood, fire, but also details that kept escaping Alec's memory every time he tried to remember what the hell was going on there.

He carefully started to return the papers to the floor, looking at each one individually to see if something matched. They all resembled a toddler's drawings, each more distorted and confusing than the next.

But, then, Alec spotted it: two black, straight lines, growing upwards. He lifted the two pages together, and something started to come through. A pillar? Pews? He couldn't make out much, but it was something.

And then, like a dam being broken, Alec could see it. What Jace was drawing was his subconscious bleeding through. He was remembering the visions Jonathan was sending him, and it was a location in Edom. Alec might have found the answer they were looking for as to where to start their search in Edom.

Moving like a machine, his brain on overdrive, Alec started piecing the puzzle together. Some of the connections started to trigger his own memories, and he started to sort the pages automatically as a consequence.

Breathing quickly, Alec's hand shook when he fit the last page into the middle of the puzzle. He stood back, trying to gauge the setting. Jace had drawn on lots of pages, so Alec knew he needed to step back. He stood back on Jace's bed, balancing himself on the mattress, not caring that his muddy shoes were dirtying the covers.

He saw it: a derelict hall, surrounded by broken pillars, burning fires, blood and ichor. In the corner, a shadow stood, feminine curves dark and bold against the burning orange of the fire. Lilith - it must be.

He needed to show the others.

 

×××

 

Magnus stared at the image for less than five seconds before he gave his verdict. "They're holding themselves up in the Dark Gard," he stated. "It's like the Gard in Alicante, only this one fell to the demons a long, long time ago," he explained.

"So, it's their meeting place?" Izzy deduced. "And I'm assuming it's well fortified."

"The place itself looks almost abandoned – structurally it shouldn't pose too many problems for breaking down walls," Magnus suggested. "But Lilith has powerful magic and the demons she controls have bested all of us in combat."

"And how will we even be able to destroy them and get Jace back at the same time?" Alec asked. "You knocked yourself unconscious with the amount of magic you had to use before to down just five demons. A hoard of them might be impossible to stop."

"I wasn't using all of my powers when I did that, though," Magnus stated. Alec remembered their earlier talk, his heritage. "If I'm able to use other people's strength to keep myself going, I might be able to take the demons out without needing Catarina to shout at me for half a day about how much of an idiot I am."

Alec huffed a laugh, but was still worried about how they would formulate a plan of action.

"The Seelie Queen is fine with letting a large group of Shadowhunters, Warlocks, Werewolves and Vampires travel through her realm?" he asked Magnus, who nodded confidently.

"The Seelies always play on the winning side. I convinced her that Lilith's rise would only lead to the destruction of their realm if Lilith was able to destroy all life on Earth. When you’re as old as the Seelie Queen, time spanning decades, even centuries, becomes more valuable. I told her it would only be a matter of time before Lilith would grow bored and attack the Faerie realm, claiming it as hers."

Alec felt a burst of pride swell up in his chest for Magnus. "Do you think everyone will play nice until we can get to Jonathan and Lilith?" Alec asked.

"They'll have to; everyone's survival depends on it," Izzy said solemnly.

"Once we get into Edom, I'll be able to portal us to the Dark Gard, that way we should avoid most of the scavenger demons roaming the plains," Magnus explained.

But, that meant: "You've been there before?"

"Only once," Magnus assured Alec. "A very long time ago."

"Is this to do with the thing you said we'd talk about later?" Alec queried, his gaze flickering over to Izzy.

"Fine, if you two want a private talk, I can leave!" she joked.

"No, you can stay Isabelle," Magnus interrupted. "A lot of this will inevitably be brought up when we get to Edom," he added, almost as an afterthought.

Izzy looked confused. "I don't understand," she said.

Magnus directed Alec and Izzy to a sofa in the back corner of Jace's room. He stood in front of them silently for a second, trying to find the best way to begin.

"You know that warlocks have their powers borne from their demonic heritage," Magnus started. "The demon who fathered me was very powerful, one of the Greater Demons and also one of the nine Princes Of Hell. Asmodeus."

Izzy's eyes widened in shock. "Your father's Asmodeus?"

"Yes. Which means my magic can be highly volatile because of the power I possess. As a child, I struggled to control my magic when my emotions ran high. It took me going to the Silent Brothers for lessons before I was able to build the life I have made for myself."

"How did that lead you to the Dark Gard?" Alec asked.

"Around 200, maybe 300 years ago, I wanted more answers as to who I was, my family history. The Silent Brothers knew a Greater Demon had created me, but they didn't know which one. I went there looking for answers,” he said. "I left before he could do anything to hurt me.

"But Lilith will recognise me when we get there. She might alert Asmodeus to my presence if he doesn't feel it when we arrive in Edom, and he will try to attack me," Magnus continued.

"I won't let that happen," Alec vowed.

"Alec, he's very powerful and I doubt there would be much you could do to stop him, but I appreciate the concern," Magnus said, trying to come off as playful but only ended up worrying Alec even more. "As long as we're able to destroy the demons quick, Lilith and Sebastian, and rescue Jace without wasting too much time, we should be fine."

"Well," Izzy sighed, crossing her arms. "Looks like we've got a hell of a lot of planning to do."

 

×××

 

The ground crunched under Alec's footing once he stepped through the passageway in Faerie and into Edom. The smell of sulphur and iron hit his nose in an instant, making him gag slightly, and he had to give his eyes a couple of seconds to adjust to the dark burgundy-red sky. Thick, black clouds – or plumes of smoke, Alec couldn't tell – rose and fell like waves as the wind blew.

Once he concentrated, Alec could hear the distant shrieks of demons. He had his seraph blade in hand, ready just in case a demon was lurking nearby.

One by one, the rest of their entourage made their way through the passage end. Magnus immediately made his way to Alec's side, his posture tall and confident. Alec looked to him, the niggling feeling of doubt and anxiety still clawing away at the back of his brain.

"You sure about this?"

Magnus nodded, a smirk on his face.

"If it means saving the world and getting to spend one more day with you, then always."

Alec gripped Magnus’ hand, feeling the warmth of his rings bed themselves into Alec's skin.

It didn't take long for everyone to reach Edom, groups of Seelie knights, Vampires, Werewolves, and Shadowhunters waiting for Magnus to open a portal.

After taking in the scene, Magnus shook his head into action, clicking his free fingers to open the portal to the Dark Gard.

Alec was still holding Magnus' hand when they stepped through the portal together, leading the line. The familiar, confusing _whoosh_ of the portal wrapped around them, and pushed them out to the Gard. Alec instantly felt the feeling of dread wash over him, lingering imprints of Jace's pain resurfacing in his memory. He instantly let his eyes be drawn to the corner of the room, where the picture had shown Lilith to be standing. There was nothing there.

But that didn't mean they weren't still around.

"Can you feel anything through the bond?" Izzy questioned as soon as she stepped out of the portal.

Alec quickly tested it. "Nothing," he said. "They're still blocking it."

And then, suddenly, a loud demonic shriek echoed through the building. One grew to two, to three, and then to several, the demons seemingly in communication with one another. Alec gripped onto his seraph blade tightly.

"Clary," he started, noticing fire-red hair in the corner of his eyes. "You stand behind me and Izzy for most of this, okay," he instructed.

Clary nodded in his direction. "No point in me trying to save Jace if I'm not alive for it."

 _You could put it that way_ , Alec thought, but then soon dismissed it as he narrowed his focus, drawing from his strength of mind.

Shadows lurked all around the room. Alec felt as tense as a strung wire with how silent everyone was. The portal had long been closed by Magnus, and the room had been filled. The eeriness of the silence was haunting, especially since Alec didn't know how long they had before they risked Magnus having to face off his own father.

"Magnus, are you ready?" Alec asked him as Magnus took out his spell book.

Magnus gave him a short nod, and a reassuring smile. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Um, Alec..." Clary then trailed. Something in her voice scared Alec, and found her holding her head. "I feel dizzy," she announced.

"Alec!" Luke shouted, fingers pointed to the opposite side of the room. Alec felt as if he were getting whiplash. "They're coming."

And he was right. Alec could hear the tell-tale growls of the demons and the echoes of their claws against the stone floor.

"Ahh," Clary groaned. Alec turned back to face her, and almost dropped his seraph blade as she fell backwards into him. "I think I'm having another vision!"

Damn it.

"Your beloved angels couldn't have picked a better time to knock her out," Raphael hissed under his breath, and Alec had to agree.

"Quick, Alec, we need Magnus," Clary demanded.

Alec squinted in confusion. "Magnus?"

"Alec, they're here – there's no time," Izzy said hastily, her stance changing. Alec could hear the sounds of the Seelie knights already starting their attacks, the roar of the demons filling the room.

"It's important," Clary said, her eyes glazed over and darting from side to side as she watched something beyond Alec's comprehension.

He looked to Magnus, quickly. "Magnus, we need you!"

"Alec, I must start this," Magnus insisted. He mixed the ground claws into the dirt before setting it alight. The incantation was about to start.

"They're going to swarm us," Raphael growled as he pushed a demon that had jumped towards him away, before Izzy stabbed it with her staff.

"Clary says you're a part of her vision," he said, holding onto Clary's body as she started to shake with impatience.

Alec watched as Magnus made his decision, abandoning the spell to rush over next to them both.

"Now, Alec, you need to let Magnus draw a rune; I'll guide his hand," Clary instructed.

He pulled down his jacket sleeve to an open spot of skin on his arm. Clary gave Magnus her stele without needing to look at him, her hand resting atop Magnus' and placing it on Alec's arm. She seemed to work on automatic as she let Magnus draw the rune down, the familiar warmth of it burning into his skin welcoming.

Once they finished the rune, Clary took the stele from Magnus and gave it to Alec, her eyes still looking elsewhere. Alec felt no different.

"Now, Alec, you need to draw a second one on Magnus," she ordered.

What?

"Magnus can't have runes, they'll kill him," he argued.

"Trust the Angel – it won't work without him," she insisted.

Magnus eyed Clary with worry. He cupped her face with his hands. "Biscuit," he started. "You know no other creatures apart from Nephilim can take runes," he explained, but it was if he were talking to a brick wall.

"The rune won't work without you," she repeated. "Please, trust me."

Alec looked to Magnus. He couldn't trust the Angel, not after everything he'd seen. Angels were imperfect too. But he trusted Clary.

"Magnus, we need you to start this spell!" Luke shouted.

"Alec, give me your hand," Clary rushed, her eyes darting back and forth even quicker than before. "I won't be able to hold on to the vision for much longer!"

"It's okay, Alec," Magnus said. "Do it."

Alec nodded before giving Clary his hand, who gripped onto it tightly. Clary dragged the stele over Magnus' skin in large strokes, curling black lines into almost an 'm' shape. Magnus winced at the unfamiliar burn of the rune in his skin, and Alec's heart rate ticked up as he panicked that something was going wrong.

"It's okay, I'm fine," Magnus assured him.

A final sweep of the stele from Clary, still holding onto Alec ever so tightly, finished Clary's vision. Her eyes started to focus more on Alec and Magnus, life flowing back into her body as she started to pull herself up.

The sounds of swinging swords and shrieking demons started to fade in Alec's mind as something powerful began to wash over him. It hummed in his blood as birds to the morning sun; it called to him and ran like electricity. It draped over him like a blanket, each thread colouring Alec's world anew.

"I can feel your strength, your agility," Magnus suddenly announced. "I can feel the power of your other runes."

"And I can feel your magic," Alec said, lifting his muscles, which were shaking as the power rocked through him. "How do you live with so much of it?"

"I usually have it much better controlled, but I need access to all of it if this spell is to work," Magnus explained to him. "Do you think you'll be okay?"

"Definitely," Alec breathed, smiling as his body adjusted to the power, liked it even. "Let's start this spell."

Clary ran with the two of them towards the place where Magnus had already started to prepare the spell. "Do you need me at all for this?" she asked.

"Stand by in case I need your strength, Biscuit," Magnus informed her, hurrying to finish the preparations for the incantation.

And then, he started – words fell from his mouth easily and the ground started to shake. Stone crumbled from the ceiling as the earth moved. Alec knew this old, ancient building wouldn't be able to cope with the spell if it went on for too long.

Wind whipped past Alec's face, blowing dust and dirt into his eyes. Those who were fighting slowly made their way back behind Magnus, retreating to bring the demons closer to him. The demons hissed at everyone, snapping at people's heels as they tried to continue the fight. Alec wondered if they knew what was going on. Some of the demons started to jump onto higher platforms, ichor dripping down onto the ground as they prepared to jump.

And then, suddenly, as the last Seelie knight stepped back behind the spell preparations, the ground caught alight between them and the demons. They continued to hiss, but were visibly annoyed at the line of fire separating the groups. Everyone behind Alec was silent, waiting for the killer blow.

One of the demons tried to jump from a broken pillar over the fire, but it's timing was too late. His reactions quicker, Magnus let out a bellowing shout of a language ancient and old, and pushed his hands towards the fire, letting it spread across the demons. For those that were too far out of reach, Alec could see an invisible pressure crushing them into the ground, their bones cracking horribly. Their dying screams grew so loud in unison that Alec had to cover his ears.

But he could feel Magnus tiring. The magic flowing through Magnus was also flowing through Alec, and he knew it was depleting fast.

"Magnus, draw from my strength," Alec shouted over the din.

Magnus kept uttering those words. His warlock mark was now on full display, brilliant cat eyes burning as brightly as the fire, but he wasn't acknowledging Alec, so wrapped up in the spell. He had warned them, and Alec was scared of the price Magnus would pay if he kept on going.

And then, Alec wondered: if they were connected through this new pair of runes, maybe Alec could give him his strength through it?

There's no harm in trying, he thought to himself as he watched Magnus begin to lose strength in his muscles, his posture growing more tired as the seconds ticked by.

Alec shut his eyes, feeling his own Shadowhunter strength like never before in contrast to Magnus' magic. It was a part of him, woven into his being, unlike Magnus' which felt like an aura shrouding him. He pushed that strength out of him, remembering what Magnus said about wards and tapestries. He imagined his strength like a piece of thread, and wove it into Magnus' magic, silver and gold intertwining with oranges, purples and blues.

He couldn't see it happening, but he knew the moment when Magnus felt Alec giving him his strength. The hum of energy in Alec start to fizz with excitement as he took in Alec's strength, and the sounds of cracking grew more frequent and the shrieks began to die down.

It was working.

"Magnus!" Alec suddenly heard Clary shout, but he couldn't move, couldn't open his eyes. Magnus was holding him in place with his magic, wanting desperately to keep going until the demons were knocked out.

"Take my hand!" she called out, and Alec felt his body shiver as Clary forced her hand into Magnus', her own angelic strength adding to the bouncing energy in his mind. Alec rode the power like a wave as Clary's strength gave Magnus enough power to give one last magical push against the demons, ending the screams with one last bellowing shout.

Alec felt like a puppet cut from its strings as Magnus let him go, breathing in quickly and letting him collapse into Magnus.

"You did it," he breathed into Magnus' neck as Magnus draped himself over Alec's own body too.

"No – _we_ did it," he replied, before going completely slack in Alec's arms.

"Magnus?" Alec croaked. He lifted his head up, holding onto Magnus shoulders and moving him into his lap. "I got you," he said, stroking Magnus' hair tenderly, letting Magnus rest in his arms.

"That was amazing," Izzy exclaimed. "I've never seen anything like that before in my life."

"But we have a problem," Raphael urged, tugging at Izzy's arm to draw her attention upwards. Alec followed their gaze.

The ceiling was cracking in half.

"The spell, it made the whole building shake," Luke suggested. "I'm not sure if it'll be able to hold itself if we make a lot of sudden movements."

"And right you are, Lucian," a familiar, slick voice called from a passageway.

Jonathan.

"I'm impressed that Magnus Bane could muster the power to defeat our demons, but it's of no consequence," he said as he stepped over one dead demon after another. "Mother won't be happy, but she has bigger plans than these creatures. They were meant to be our foot soldiers," he rambled, a glint in his eyes.

"You won't get away with anything," Clary said, boldly.

"My dearest sister," he said. "I'm afraid I already have."

"Let us have Jace back, and we'll leave you alone," she begged. Alec tried to grab her leg to get her to shut up, but she was too far out of reach.

"I can't do that, Clary," he replied. "He's key to our plans."

"We'll find you, and we'll stop you," Alec growled, protectively holding onto Magnus more tightly as Jonathan neared the burnt ground where the fire had once been raging.

"Good luck finding us underneath all that rubble," Jonathan cooed. He clicked his fingers, an obvious sign for something, and Alec felt the ceiling shake with energy. A woman's laugh echoed throughout the castle, and Jonathan vanished before Clary could get to him.

Dust and stone fell from above. They were only allowed seconds for the ceiling splintered in two, and came raining down.

 

×××

 

But it didn't hit anyone on the way down. Alec had felt panic shoot through his body, and had lifted his arm up to protect him and Magnus, his body ready to shield his unconscious and vulnerable lover from most of the rubble. But it never hit them.

Instead, Alec only felt a tingling sensation emanate from his hand, power flowing through his arm to his hand and out into the air. His eyes had been shut in preparation for the blow, but were opened to see blue magic glowing from his palm. It sapped at his strength immediately. His muscles grew tense and tight.

"Alec..." Izzy trailed. "How?"

"It's the rune," he gritted through his teeth. "Clary's rune."

"It's connecting them both together," Clary explained. "But we need to get out of here, Alec won't be able to do this for much longer," she said quickly as she noticed his body growing weaker.

Magic was like tunnel vision. Alec didn't know how to look away. All he could think about was holding up this damn ceiling.

"Alec, we're getting everyone out now," Izzy explained to him. "It won't take long."

Alec couldn't speak; all of his energy was being spent on magic he had no idea what to do with. It was as if he were holding a truck with his bare hands.

"Alec," he heard a croak from below him. Something golden and warm began to take over, relaxing his arms. "It's okay, I'm here," Magnus said to him, now awake.

Alec was finally able to break away from his stare, turning to see Magnus' whiskey-gold eyes watch over him warmly. "How am I doing this?" he spluttered.

"Visceral emotions. I can feel them," Magnus said. "It's how my magic is channelled," he explained further.

"Magnus, I don't know how to stop," he said.

"Don't worry, I'll help. But first of all, we need to get out of this room – just think about that for the moment," Magnus instructed.

"Okay," Alec agreed, keeping his hand in the air whilst he simultaneously helped to lift Magnus up from the ground.

"Now, just keep focused on your emotions," Magnus said as he and Alec stepped towards the room's exit, where Izzy and Clary were waiting for them. "What did you feel when the magic started?"

"Panic," Alec answered. "I was scared. You were unconscious and I wanted to protect you," he continued.

"Okay, good. Are we safe now?"

"We will be when we're out of the room," Alec said.

They were just a few steps away now. Izzy reached out to grab Magnus' shoulder and direct him past the bodies of the dead demons.

"And we're out of it now," Magnus exclaimed happily as soon as they stepped out.

Alec smiled himself, dropping his hand. They were safe.

With a crash, the ceiling was finally allowed to drop to the floor. Dust billowed and choked up Alec's throat, causing him and the others to cough.

"Thank you," Alec managed to croak tiredly once he waved away some of the dust. "I'm not sure how I did that, but thank you, Magnus."

"Darling, it's us who should be thanking you," Magnus replied. "And, of course, thank you Clarissa for having a very dramatic vision that saved our lives."

"Don't mention it," Clary laughed. "But now we need to find Jace," she said afterwards on a more serious note.

"Yes, he could be anywhere," Magnus said.

"We should probably split up into groups, a pair from each faction forming a larger group to help protect each other," Alec suggested. "That way we can cover more ground whilst still having varied skill sets."

"I'm all for it if you are," Magnus stated.

Izzy and Clary nodded eagerly, both immediately spreading themselves towards the other Downworlders and telling them what was going on.

The magic still hummed in the back of Alec's brain, although it was more on standby than a living thing.

"We'll find him, Alexander," Magnus assured him. "And now that we're somehow connected, Lilith and Jonathan won't know what's hit them."

Alec smiled in agreement, some of the tension from earlier dissipating with Magnus' words.

They were going to find Jace and everything was going to be fine.

 

×××

 

Magnus and Alec obviously stuck together. Some of the other Shadowhunters had wanted to stick with Magnus after witnessing his incredible magical display with the demons earlier, but the runes Clary gave the two of them made sure Alec and Magnus were in a group together without having to bring up their relationship. Izzy voted to stay with Clary, and managed to get both Meliorn and Raphael in the same group as her. Luke offered to join up with Magnus and Alec, and sent his most trusted betas out to other groups.

Magnus, Alec, Luke and a couple of Vampires and Seelie knights were taking the west side of the castle. It was one of the oldest wings, which only made it more unstable. They had to tread carefully.

Alec had kept trying to locate Jace through the bond, but was only coming up blank. He did once wonder whether Jace was being kept here at all – perhaps this was a red herring, and he was really being held over water somewhere – but signs of blood and echoes throughout the castle kept those thoughts at bay.

"Do you know what else could be down the west wing apart from ash and bones, Magnus?" Luke asked as they turned down another corridor, his flash light scoping down the dirtied and bloodied floor.

"Not really, I wasn't here for very long before, and I wasn't exactly given a guided tour," he replied.

"And still nothing from the parabatai bond?" Luke directed to Alec.

Alec shook his head in response. "Nope, not a thing," he sighed. His frustration was growing every second that he couldn't find Jace. The warlock, sensing this, rubbed a soothing hand over Alec’s arm.

"We've still got time," Magnus said. "It would have taken Lilith a long time to prepare a spell to create such a monolithic demon as Jonathan suggested. I imagine Jace would have given a fight."

"Can't you turn Shadowhunters into demons if they drink demon blood from the Cup?" Luke asked thoughtfully. It was a good question.

"You can, but it's a complex process. I doubt it would affect Jace because of the angelic injections he was given as a baby from Valentine," Magnus explained.

"So, even though the Silent Brothers' incantations couldn't protect him from Sebastian’s demonic blood connection, his own blood should give him some sort of edge," Alec deduced.

"Exactly," Magnus agreed.

And then, one the Seelie knights hushed the others. "I think I saw something, up ahead," she whispered. They all looked to one another, silencing themselves.

Alec unhooked his bow from around his body, and knocked an arrow, coming up to aim at anything that might peek down the corridor. Magnus stood, long coat only just avoiding the debris and muck on the floor, but he looked focused and unworried. Luke kept his flashlight steady so Alec would be able to see any sort of shadow.

But then, like raindrops leaving trails on window panes, Alec felt pain start to bleed through his parabatai bond, slowly. He winced, which wobbled his aim off centre, but he tried to force himself to ignore the pain.

"What's happening?" Luke hissed in a hushed tone.

"Jonathan and Lilith have been using Alec and Jace’s parabatai bond to cut off Alec whenever Jace has been subjugated to Jonathan's blood connection to Jace," Magnus tried to explain, concern written all over him. Alec felt his arms shaking as the pain started to get worse and worse throughout his body.

"You can both head back and rest if it's going to bother you," one of the Vampires piped up.

"No," Alec said sharply. "If they're trying to get to me now, that means we're close."

"Alec's right," Luke agreed.

The group crept forwards, until they reached the end of the corner. Alec quickly peeked his head around the corner, his arrow still pointing forwards in hold. There was nothing but a dark flight of stairs heading downwards.

The steps were curved stone and wet with a cold condensation that dripped down the walls to pool down into tiny streams that flowed down with the stairs. Alec heard his boots splash quietly against the water, and walked slowly to avoid slipping. Luke had turned off his flashlight in a bid to keep the element of surprise, but Alec doubted it would work if they had activated the bond.

And then, Alec felt a sliver of something creep through the bond. He couldn't tell exactly _what_ he was feeling, but it was something - and it was fleeting.

"I can feel Jace," he whispered to Magnus. "It's hard to feel the bond through the pain, but he's close."

Magnus nodded to him in acknowledgement, letting Alec lead the way, down through a couple more passageways.

And then, like balm to a sting, the pain stopped. Alec's eyes flew wide open at the sudden relief.

They must have found Jace.

Quickly running forward, they came across a wooden, bolted door with metal spikes and crusted blood dried to their points poking out. Magnus raised his hand and blasted the door off its hinges, letting the group into a dungeon-esque room.

"Alec!" Jace cried out to him.

"Don't come any closer, or he's dead," Jonathan spat at them. He was holding onto a tied-down Jace, the blade of a dagger resting along his throat.

"If I were you, I would be wise and listen to my son," a woman's voice drifted through the air, travelling like many echoes. Lilith. "It would be foolish not to."

"Lilith," Magnus breathed.

"My dear Magnus, it's been too long," Lilith cooed. "You know your father has missed you for far too long now; he must be eager to see you now that you're in Edom."

“If my father has missed me for so long, then he knows where to find me,” Magnus growled. “Now, let the Nephilim go, and we won’t kill you.”

Lilith let out a bellowing cackle. The sound vibrated around the walls and confused Alec as his eyes darted, trying to find where she was hiding.

“You’re so brazen, Magnus, thinking you can defeat a Greater Demon,” she said. “We’re ancient for a reason and that’s because no one can kill us.”

A shadow stepped out from one of the far walls, feminine in figure. Ichor trailed behind her feet as it dripped down her body, ink-black hair plastered to her skin.

“And I assume this is your beau – your truest love,” she purred as she drew closer to Alec. She nodded to Sebastian, who opened the block between Alec and Jace’s runes to pour what felt like lava through it. Alec instantly dropped his bow and arrow, distantly hearing it clatter to the floor as he sunk to it with his weapons. He screamed in time with Jace as Jonathan put more and more into the bond, flooding it with hellfire.

Alec twisted his face in pain and frustration as Lilith pressed her ichor-soaked hand onto Magnus’ cheek. Alec tried to reach out, but only felt more pain blossom from his parabatai rune, the distant echoes of Jace screaming only perpetuating the horror that had flooded Alec's entire being.

"Leave him alone," Magnus grumbled low and forcefully, an edge of rage seeping into his words.

Lilith's face twisted into mock forgiveness. "Oh, well of course, Magnus. Asmodeus would hate me to lay a finger on your lover, wouldn't he?" she continued, this time turning her attention to Alec.

"What gorgeous eyes you have, young Shadowhunter," she preened as the squelching of her feet against the ground drew closer to Alec. In the background, Jonathan's mouth curled into a sneer, eyes dark and gleeful as he put more fire and pain into his and Jace's blood connection. Alec almost collapsed as hot, searing pain hit him like a tidal wave.

"So adorable," Lilith said. Like with Magnus, she reached out and stroked Alec's cheek. The ichor was so cold and it made his skin shiver in stark contrast to the wildfire burning in his blood. "You weren't originally a part of the plan, Lightwood, but I can never resist seeing something angelic twist under demonic power," she explained as her fingers trailed soft, gentle lines across his face.

"Enough!" Magnus bellowed.

Lilith's eyes snapped back to Magnus, and Alec immediately let his weak, heavy bones collapse to floor once she let him go of her faux-motherly touches.

Magnus stood tall as Alec barely managed to make it into a croach. His warlock mark was on display, a fiery red. Alec felt anger distantly through Clary's rune. No, it was more than that: he could Magnus' fury. 

"If Alec isn't your game plan, then what do you need with Jace?" he demanded.

Lilith turned to Jonathan, who nodded in silent agreement, and stopped his assault on Jace and Alec.

Alec gasped in air like it was water. Relief flooded his muscles; the ringing in his ears - something he hadn't even noticed - disappeared and Lilith's voice sounded clearer as she spoke to Magnus.

"I'm sure you've guessed most of my plan," she assumed.

Magnus didn't say anything, but flashed a warning of red magic as she tried to stalk closer to him.

"Oh come on, Magnus," Lilith laughed. "Did you honestly expect me to detail my entire plan to you?"

"Of course not, I'm not stupid," Magnus retorted. "I have an idea on why you need Jace."

Oh, no, Alec thought to himself, his thoughts grew clearer. Jace was breathing heavily in the chair he was still tied down to, ropes cutting his skin red and raw after his struggling. But Jonathan was no longer there to watch him. Instead, he'd quietly disappeared to the back of the room to reach through into something dark.

The missing Shadowhunters weren't enough. Lilith didn't just want the blood of Nephilim: she also wanted the blood of the angels.

With Sebastian and Lilith's backs turned, Alec saw an opportunity. He didn't know how this new rune worked, but he hoped that Magnus would have an inkling of what Alec was about to do.

"Exactly, and I won't have you get in the way, Magnus," Lilith almost hissed, drawing closer to Magnus, pushing him back towards the door that Luke was still frantically bashing against. The distant calls of Clary came through, and a fully formed plan began to slot into place.

Alec crawled onto his hands and knees, careful to be as quick and as quiet as possible. Jace noticed, but kept his mouth shut as Alec took out his emergency dagger and started to cut away at the ropes that tied Jace to the chair. With Magnus' magic still connected to him, Alec could see red lines - like threads - keeping the rope strong and binding. Feeling stupid at the motion, Alec waved his hands over and drew on Magnus' magic, using his feelings to guide his way. At the same time, he felt Magnus push something through - perhaps an incantation - to aid Alec, and suddenly the red lines snapped, disappearing altogether into the shadows.

Alec quickly cut through the rope to free Jace.

And then... everything happened so quickly.

Jonathan turned around, hands wrapped around the stem of the Mortal Cup, and shouted in anger as he saw Jace stand up free. At the same time, Magnus whipped a fiery red ball of magic suddenly towards Lilith, which threw her to the side of the room. He then broke whatever magic kept the door behind them locked, allowing Luke, Clary, Izzy, Raphael and Meliorn to pour in behind Magnus, blades at the ready.

Alec knew he had a matter of seconds before Jonathan would consume both Jace and himself with pain, rendering them useless, so he acted quickly. He drew his seraph blade from his holster, and ran towards Jonathan, immediately trying to swipe at him, cut him down.

"No!" Alec distantly heard Lilith scream as Alec plunged his seraph blade into Jonathan's chest. He twisted it before pulling it out, feeling something untether from his soul - or from Jace's - as the angry, violent gleam in Jonathan's eyes died out for good.

The world turned to void in front of Alec's very eyes as the constraints on Lilith's magic were removed. Like Azazel, Alec's ears felt as if they were bleeding with her screaming. Something pushed on him, crushing him to the floor. He felt the icy tendrils of ichor crawl over him, claiming him.

"It won't change anything," Lilith whispered, suddenly closer than Alec thought. "There is nothing on heaven and earth that can stop me now."

White light filled Alec's vision as he felt the push of Magnus' magic through Clary's rune. It balanced him; he was light and weightless, no pain to be felt.

"Maybe," Alec croaked. "But something from Hell might just do."

Alec gave himself one second to appreciate the puzzled expression on Lilith's face before he let Magnus' magic be free. It consumed him entirely. He felt strong, powerful, something other worldly. He trusted that Magnus was taking the reigns as he felt magic pour from him against Lilith, a mixture of anger and wildness and love all burning into one – a burn that wasn’t scalding, but warm and soothing and nurturing. Sounds washed together with the tide of Magnus’ magic.

There was nothing more Alec could do but offer his own strength to propel the magic, to sustain it. He was a conduit, but also more than that: two puzzle pieces slotting together, forces of Heaven and Hell and Earth combining into one. Alec felt the weight of Magnus’ love with him, his panic and his need to get Lilith _away_ from Alec.

And suddenly, the brakes were put down, the dam built up again.

The contrast of the blinding light to terrible, inky, sticky darkness made Alec blind for an agonising few seconds. The magic that had made a home in his veins began to trickle away, and Alec, for the second time in his life, had to get used to the feeling of something moving away from his soul, something separating.

All of that meant nothing, however, once the pain started to return.

“Alexander!”

Alec groaned, his sharp pain hitting his muscles, his bones, as he tried to move. “Magnus!” he cried out.

“It’s okay, Alexander, it’s okay,” Magnus soothed, a warm hand making contact with Alec’s cold, ichor-sticky skin.

“It hurts,” he tried to say, but felt the words get caught in his throat, which felt like sandpaper had scraped against it.

“Try not to speak, okay? I’ll try to take away as much of the pain away as I can,” Magnus explained. His eyes were glamoured once more, but Alec could still see the worry in them.

“It’s okay, she’s gone,” Magnus answered to a question Alec wasn’t sure he asked.

“I used the last bits of time we had with the bond to magic Lilith. She isn’t dead – it would take something more powerful than Clary's rune to stop her – but the combination of my magic and Alec’s Nephilim blood meant we were able to send her to another dimension, an in-between place, if you wish. It will take her some time to get back to Edom, and even longer to rebuild the army she’s been trying to create.”

Alec hung onto Magnus’ words, trying ever so hard to listen, but he was so tired.

“Jonathan's dead,” he announced. “It terrified me, watching her crush your body like that,” Magnus described as more magic shrouded Alec’s body, the tingling sensation of coolness enveloping Alec like blanket. “It looked like she was prepared to snap you in half as soon as Jonathan's body hit the ground, and she had put up some sort of magical barrier. There was nothing I could do, except to use the rune.”

Magnus slowly dropped his hands, exhaustion rounding his shoulders in such a way that made Alec shakily raise his hand to stroke Magnus’ arm. Magnus just let out an exasperated laugh.

“Again, you surprise me,” Magnus smiled. For a minute, they sat there, small feelings of closeness pulling them closer. It was inevitable that Magnus’ forehead would come to rest atop of Alec’s, where they breathed together in sheer relief. They had done it.

They were _alive_.

 _Thank you for saving me_ , Alec thought, and imagined his mind projecting this thought to Magnus.

Alec pressed his lips up to meet Magnus’ in a gentle kiss instead. It made him feel as if the world was spinning, that Magnus was his world and Alec would forever orbit around him.

 _I love you_ , Alec wanted to say. His whole body lit up with the overwhelming feeling of love, love for Magnus, and it made Alec lighter and painless in a way no iratze or spell could.

“I love you too,” Magnus proclaimed, as if having heard his unspoken words.

Love is not something that people search for and stop when they think they find it. Love comes from all around: from family, from friends, from doing a job you enjoy. From a lover. From yourself. Alec knew that his journey with Magnus would go on – that their love would grow and change with the years, just as the world around them would change. It would strive and connect the two of them closer in ways that excited Alec, up until the day they died.

And even then, Alec knew it would transcend death, live on even after his heart would stop beating.

“Sleep, Alexander,” Magnus whispered. “We’ll be home before you know it.”

 _I already am_ , Alec mused as his eyes shut, heavy and content.

 _With you, I always will be_.

 

×

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Jijivisha_ , Hindi: “refers to the strong, eternal desire to live and to continue living. It is usually used to talk about a person who loves life and always has intense emotions and desires to live and thrive.”  
> All translations to these ‘untranslatable’ words that I used can be found [here](https://www.rocketlanguages.com/blog/20-of-the-worlds-most-beautiful-untranslatable-words/).
> 
> Did you really think I could end it there? Well, good news! There will be an Epilogue! I can't say when as I'm slammed with work, but it is being written as you read!  
> Before I release it, I just want to say that I've thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and I really hope everyone's enjoyed reading it. It's been the most complex thing I've ever written. It can be hard to see the forest for the trees when your mind is buried deep within a story, so I really hope it's all paid off for you all!
> 
> Thank you for everyone's lovely comments throughout. You've all genuinely made my day with some of them and it's so wonderful to see the response to this story. I'll save more of my sappiness once I've written and posted the Epilogue, but just know that I appreciate everything! ❤️️


	7. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just *puuure* fluff (and also to tie up lose ends I hadn't realised I never dealt with during nanowrimo, lmao)! it's very short for how long it's taken me to upload, but I hope it's been worth the wait <3

×

 

_three days later_

 

×××

 

Magnus waltzed through the penthouse front door, his eyes gleaming with subtle delight, a swagger in his step.

“How did the meeting with the Seelie Queen go?” Alec asked as soft footsteps drew closer. He manoeuvred himself to let Magnus sit down beside him once he reached the settee.

“Absolutely perfect,” Magnus announced. He conjured two small glasses of red wine as Alec settled into his side. “The Seelie Queen has promised to give up courting Simon now that the Downworld and the Shadow World are better united,” he detailed before sipping his glass. “Drink up, Alexander – I promise it will help.”

“Alcohol heals ribs broken by a Greater Demon?” Alec said dryly.

Lilith had done a great deal of damage to Alec after Jonathan had been killed. Izzy had scribbled iratzes all over his skin but they had done nothing to heal his crushed bones and torn skin and muscle. He couldn’t really remember leaving Edom, his memory a haze of screams and pulsing pain, but he was now recovering in the safety and comfort of Magnus’ loft.

Isabelle had taken up his duties in the meantime. “You need to rest,” she had said. “Magnus is the only person I know that has been able to heal you. And you two deserve a break after everything.”

“So do you, Iz, I can’t ask you to run the Institute after everything that’s happened,” Alec had argued.

“Don’t you worry big brother, I can do damage control. And I won’t be on my own.”

She was right: Jace had returned to his position in the Institute after the Silent Brothers were able to restore his protective charms. And where Jace went, Clary followed.

“I’ll be fine,” Izzy had assured him. “Focus on yourself for once!”

“Well, they may not heal them, per se, but wine does wonders for pain management,” Magnus remarked, bringing Alec’s mind back into the present moment.

“I’m not sure I like you promoting drinking-to-cope,” Alec said. “But I’m sure I can have one glass.”

Magnus laughed at the insinuation. “Any news from the Institute while I’ve been away?” he inquired.

Alec shrugged his shoulders. “Not much. Although Edward Stoneheart has ran back to the Clave now that this is all over and the Mortal Cup is safe again,” he summarised.

“Ugh, what an ass. If he had a tail, it would be sat right between his legs, I have no doubt,” Magnus joked.

A laugh burst out of Alec, the image hilarious to his pain-addled a sleep-drugged brain. “Oh, I would love it if that were true.”

Sipping his wine slowly, letting the aftershocks of joy settle into his bones, Alec felt the soft uncurling of love begin to gently unfold underneath his skin, vibrating warmly. A gentle breeze, cold from the New York winter, nudged the balcony doors open, the squeeze of their hinges stirring the calmness around them. With the world now open to them, Alec could make out the impatient meows of the apartment block’s cats.

Silently, Magnus answered their calls, flicking his hands to conjure bowls of cream whilst simultaneously shutting the door, returning the two of them to their privacy.

“I can never resist meeting their demands,” Magnus said fondly. “Even after the incident with Iris-“ Alec bowed his head, gut chilled by the memory, “-I still let them in.”

That was what Magnus did, Alec mused. He fixed people: dedicated a career to helping others. Made potions to cure others’ ills; stole the memories of a young girl in the hope it might protect her from a future filled with violence, to assuage her mother’s guilt. Kissed Alec at an alter that wasn’t theirs, stoking something inside of Alec, opening the cocoon he had buried himself in. Sunlight to a budding flower.

“Is there anything you need, Alexander?” Magnus offered.

Alec smiled softly. “No,” he said. “Just you.”

The tiredness of a day spent doing nothing crept over Alec like the tide enveloping the land. The iratzes Alec had placed only a few hours earlier had started to simmer and dissolve, Lilith’s lingering pain returning. He unwittingly scrunched his face in protest of the pain.

Magnus shifted on the settee in response, his hands already waving in the air with magic sparking between his fingers. Instantly, blue plumes emanated from Magnus’s palms, a balm against the pain that had seemed to settle deep into the tissues of Alec’s skin and muscles. Only yesterday had it left Alec’s bones, his ribs the last stubborn piece of his body not yet ready to let go.

“I don’t like how long it’s taking for you to get better,” Magnus voiced as Alec sighed in relief. “Are the iratzes starting to have any effect?”

“They are,” Alec said. “Just not as much as I’d like.” The tingle of Magnus’ magic vanished, the ghost of pain a familiar haunting now dulled and distant.

Magnus’ magic was the only solution to Alec’s injuries since he was the only person who could match Lilith’s powers. The iratzes Izzy had applied were sparks mixing with fire, blending into each other; Magnus’ magic cooled him, protected him, a shield. Fire and red and blue a vague memory amongst the hysteria in Edom.

It meant that the imprint of Magnus’ magic – powerful, restless, uncontainable – flowed through Alec in memory. The feeling of water rivulets knitting his bones back together, repairing blood vessels, keeping the tide of pain at bay. Magnus had been keeping him alive.

Alec now understood his love better, knew why Magnus offered his services at a price, why he only dabbled in certain kinds of magic. One step too far, and Magnus may go overboard. He anchored himself in his role as High Warlock of Brooklyn. The scale of his magic had quaked through Alec and reset the structure of his self and his relationship with Magnus. The love he felt for Magnus settled deeper, more fully, consuming him the way nothing else had.

Even before, Alec knew how lucky he was to have met Magnus, to share a life with him, a bed. Now, Alec had been given a glimpse into the very fabric of who Magnus was. It both terrified and sobered him.

“How do you feel now?” Magnus asked as Alec’s silence grew too long.

“Much better, thank you,” Alec answered, thoughts still bubbling on his lips. “Just thinking about Clary’s rune, what it did to us that day,” he said.

“Yes. I believe she’s calling it in alliance rune,” Magnus noted. “Quite apt, from what I remember of our experience.”

“How did it feel for you?” inquired Alec, his hand finding Magnus’ and linking their fingers together.

“It was comforting – your strength. Being able to share it through a rune instead of your touch felt more intimate in a way,” Magnus detailed.

“You felt like an ocean,” blurted Alec. “Nothing I have ever felt before in my entire life compared to the feel of your magic. No rune I have ever used before has ever been so powerful. It was like a magnet, pulling me to the earth and to the air – to everything around me.”

Magnus took another sip of his wine. “I do have very strong magic. It’s a part of my heritage, being one of Asmodeus’ children. Over time I have learnt how to control it, use its volatile nature for good.”

Sombreness fell over Alec as he recounted the memory of Magnus’ past; a fiery death, a bright burst of magic, a young boy fuelled by grief.

“But, even so, it still took both of our combined abilities to defeat Lilith: my demonic magic, your angelic strength,” Magnus laughed, sipping his wine.

“I wouldn’t exactly call your magic demonic…”

“Oh,” Magnus smirked. “Then, how would you?”

Alec chucked lightly, minding his ribs. “Earthly,” he summed. “But also, not, if that makes sense.”

The smugness drained from Magnus’ face slightly, replaced with something Alec hoped was akin to wonder. “It does,” he eventually agreed.

“I was terrified,” continued Magnus. “Of losing you. When Lilith had you, when she was crushing you, pictures of my mother flashed before my eyes.”

Staring in awe, Alec breathed delicately, afraid any movement would break the charged air around him.

“That same grief poured from me and into you, casting her away. I haven’t let myself use my power in that way for centuries,” Magnus explained, eyes hazy with a memory Alec couldn’t picture.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” he said, voice small. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Neither would Jace, Izzy, Clary, Luke… everyone in all of our worlds,” Alec listed. “None of us.”

“It’s scary to think that,” Magnus confessed. “And Lilith is by no means gone – rather, scattered, back to square one.”

 “But it will take her time and another chance like the once she had with Jace to do anything like that again,” argued Alec. “We’re safe.”

“I know,” Magnus said, putting his wine glass down in favour of snuggling closer to Alec, pressing the warmth of his skin closer. “But sometimes I can’t help the direction my thoughts go. I have lived for hundreds of years; time to me feels different to you. Right now, we’re safe, but in a century or two, will she be back? Will she be more powerful?”

“Then we take the time to enjoy ourselves, to have fun and let ourselves experience the world and share moments with the people we love the most,” Alec said. “You taught me that.”

A smile blossomed on Magnus’ face, pulling his skin into a cherub’s grin, smile lines revealing a history of joy Alec would love to add to, though he knew Magnus’ skin would never change.

“Then I had best make the most of all my time left in the world with you until then,” Magnus said, before closing towards Alec, invisible strings pulling their lips together until they met. Unfurled, Alec let the warmth in his chest bloom, travelling through his muscles, gripping Magnus tightly, the echoes of Magnus magic – a distant memory – speeding Alec’s movements and driving purpose.

“I love you,” Alec breathed, pulling his head back – the strings going taught at the movement, the world a blur outside, his vision tunnelling so heavily onto Magnus’ face, his features glowing rich and warm in Alec’s loving haze.

“I love you, too.”

 

×××

_Trip no further, pretty sweeting,  
Journeys end in lovers’ meeting_

_William Shakespeare – Twelfth Night_

×

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I apologise for taking the longest time to write this epilogue - life has a funny way of turning crazy in the blink of an eye! Finishing university and navigating life after graduating has taken its toll on me; I am an exhausted mess. But, I'm so happy to officially finish this whirlwind of a story! _untranslatable_ has been the longest story I have ever written and finished, so I really do take pride in it.
> 
> Once again, I'd like to thank my lovely beta Anu for putting up with me and waiting so patiently for the epilogue. A lot of this story would not be possible without her. I'd also like to thank the NanoHunters group for their help and encouragement all the way back in November 2017 for helping push me to writing the bulk of this story.
> 
> I'd also like to thank you guys - you lovely readers! I have loved all of your comments and I hope the story has lived up to your expectations. It has been a wonderful journey and I love these characters with all my heart.
> 
> P.S. #SaveShadowhunters


End file.
